Viper: Oh and before you get any sick ideas…its last ride was in a guy’s ass. ;)
“Aagghhh, cad é an fucking fuck!”
I dropped that floppy member so quick that everything left in the drawer nearly bounced right out of it. She’s lying. She’s gotta be lying, right? I slammed the drawer closed and called her. She was already laughing hysterically when she answered it.
“Oh, drat. Did that last message get received too late, Irishman?”
“You’re a dirty little liar.”
“Am I? I hope you licked it.”
I dragged a hand through my hair, shuddering. “Tempting as it sounds, I don’t have a habit of using my tongue on a cock. I’m pretty familiar with—”
“I’mma stop you right there. I couldn’t care less. Get. Out. Of. My. Apartment.”
“But I waspatient!”
“Ha! No…you weren’t. Were you expecting a cookie, or a medal for that sad attempt at patience?”
I smiled and pulled the drawer back open. She’s definitely lying. She got me, though. She’ll love this. “That depends…what kind of cookie?” I grabbed the dong and got my knife out of my pocket, flicking it open and sitting at the end of her bed.
“I can’t begin to describe the ways you annoy me, Malek. But…since you couldn’t be a good boy and I have you on the phone, I had a question about your mysterious tech guy.”
“Oh?”
Shit. Did she find out I’m trailing her?
“Does he have any access to a law office or police department?”
I couldn’t help my grin while my head cocked to the side, holding my phone while I got to work on my present. “I’m sure he could. Dying to hear this.”
“If only that were true.”
“You wound me. Spill.”
“Well, it hasn’t happened just yet, but there’s a small chance I could get assault charges. I feel like I scared a Karen into submission, but you know how they are.”
I blew harshly…on a dick of all things, brushing off pieces of silicone and getting back to work. “Tell me you pommeled her arse, otherwise you should go back and finish the job. Jail time isn’t worth a love tap, Little Viper.”
“Well…I was actually feeling really good about the whole thing, but now you’re making me second guess myself. Is there anything you won’t ruin for me, Jeffrey Dahmer?”
“Haha. And here I thought you had me convinced you onlycleanbodies. You said this isn’t what you do. Dare I ask what made you ambush a Karen?”
“She fucked with my niece. And had her little spawn carry out whatever she couldn’t.”
I paused.
“Say the word and I’ll take care of her.”
“Not necessary. I’d rather let her piss herself with fear for a little while.”For a second, Robert Maulden and his pissy pants were about to catch their own assault charge for the unkind intrusion of my witty mind.
“Well, if it comes to that then I’ll see what I can do. Might cost ya.”
“Forget I asked.”
I poked my lip out and finished up my handiwork. “That’s not nice.”
“Says the creep still in my apartment.”
