Then it started ringing.
He’s never gonna leave me alone. I might not ever get myself off in peace. Like,everagain.
“What.”
“You can’t talk dirty to me and then ignore my messages. Rude.”
“You’re delusional.”
“You started it.”
“What do you want? I’m busy.”
He gasped sharply and I’d be lying if I said my mouth didn’t turn up in the corner…just a smidge.“Busy? Doin’ what?”
“About seven inches. Decent girth.” I just described my favorite toy. But he doesn’t need to know that. Let him stew.
“Don’t make me come over there.”
“Try it again, and you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. Now seriously, what do you want?”
“Honestly? Another milkshake. I hear it brings all the boys to the yard. These boys, I’d actually like to bury in it. So…you thinkin’ about it?”
I chuckled through my nose, but thought better about it. Think it might have been too late to hide, though. “If I say yes, will you go to bed and leave me alone?”
“Only if you promise to think of me while you’re using your Girthmaster.”
…No fucking way…has he been in here?!
“I beg your finest pardon? Have you been in this fucking house?”
Malek giggled, and it made my stomach flutter while my head furiously darted around the apartment.“No, not yet. But I’ll sleep like a baby with that win. I didn’t think you’d crack that easy.”
“I faithfully hate you.”
“Send me a picture. I promise I won’t blackmail you with it.”
“Bet.” I flipped the phone, sticking up my middle finger and snapped one, sending it off. “There. Can I go to bed now?”
“Hold on…”I heard shuffling and a muffled whine.“Well, now I’m just sad.”
“Good. I’ll sleep on it. If you can practice some patience like a good boy, maybe you’ll have an answer tomorrow after I get off work.”
“Are you sitting in a fuckin’ coffin?”
“Yes, and if you don’t wanna find out how well you’d fit in it, then I’d hang up the phone. I do have places to bury things that aren’t as predictable as a backyard.”
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“Bye.”
Call ended.
My smirk was annoyingly persistent. I read the same two sentences in my book twice. I ended up giving up on it and just going to bed. He didn’t call back or text anymore, and I shuddered to think of what he was doing with that picture. I laid on my side and stared off into the dark for a few minutes and then, out of nowhere, I started laughing. It started light, but I guess I’m just tired enough that it escalated and I couldn’t stop.
“Girthmaster…”
I snorted…loud, and broke into truly hideous giggles.
