Once we finished with the cattle, we sat on the fence, watching the cows graze.
“John, is it alright if I run inside? I need to relieve myself.”
“Oh, yes. You go right on it. Help yourself.”
Now that we were alone, it seemed like as good a time as any to have this much-needed conversation.
“So…” He turned his head towards me.
“So…”
“It’s been a while since you’ve been here.”
“Yes. It has.”
“You know…I get why you haven’t been back here.” I looked over at him. “Daisy, I lost someone, too.”
I think for the first time, that really sank in. I hadn’t just lost my mom.
My dad had lost his wife.
His companion.
His confidant.
He had lost his best friend.
“I know, dad…I know.”
“I miss her.”
“I miss her, too.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you more. You were dealing with what happened in your own way, and I should have been there for you more.”
“I should have come back here, too.”
“You still can.”
“I still can what?”
“Come back here.”
I looked out into the fields again, watching the cows move along while grazing. My dad offering for me to come back here and stay was something a little unexpected. I have been on my own for seven years now, and I just felt like that’s what it would always be like for me now.
The weight of his words lay heavy in my chest, thoughts racing through my mind.
Was I ready to leave the city?
Did I want to leave?
If I stayed, it could be better for Colt and me. If I left, I didn’t know what would become of our relationship. Staying could also mean being around my dad more, which I liked thethought of. But then, what would I do for work? I wanted to take pictures and write, but could I really do that year? It had been a dream before, but I thought it was a lost cause after everything that happened.
It was a tough decision that I was going to have to think long and hard over.
I heard a noise and saw Colt coming out of the house. I was glad my dad and I had a few minutes to talk. I understand a lot more now.
“Hey?” I turned to look at my dad. A smile came across his face.
