And if he didn’t come to me to explain, then I would know that whatever happened between us was a one-time thing, and I would let it go, keeping this summer as what was meant to be…strictly business.
As we approached the house, I could feel my stomach growling. Walt parked the truck next to the house, and he opened the door for me.
“Thank you.” He opened the door of the house for me, too, and there was never a time I could remember when Walt ever let Rose, or any other woman, open their door if he had any kind of say.
“I’ll grab the bread, cheese, and lunch meat. You get the fixins?” I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant and what I wanted. I grabbed the mayonnaise, tomato, and lettuce from the fridge, then sliced and cut up everything. I could taste the sandwich; I was so hungry. Walt put out two plates with the start of a sandwich for each of us, and I layered on the toppings.
“Good?”
“Didn’t you get the pickles?”
“No, but I will.”
“You can’t have a sandwich without a good pickle on the side. I canned them myself. They’re good. You have to try them.” I got a fork out from the drawer and dipped it in the jar, pulling out a few and adding them to my plate. I ate one of them.
“They are good.”
“Come on, now. Don’t be stingy with them. Pass me the jar.” I did and took a bite from my sandwich, hearing a small whimper. We both turned to look at Hank, who was sitting by the door. “His food is in there by the door. There’s a scoop already in it. Get him one."
“Of course. We can’t forget about you, Hank.” I scooped up some food and poured it into Hank’s food bowl. He went to eat as soon as the first bit of kibble hit the bowl.
“Looks like he is as hungry as we are.”
Chapter Seventeen
Colt
Istood in the barn, putting away what was left in the box and bag. My hands moved mechanically, knowing every action that needed to be done. There wasn’t any thinking involved.
The argument with Daisy replayed over and over again. Her words cut so deep.
I was supposed to go out and check on the cows on the other side of the ranch. I tightened the saddle up on Shadow, glancing out the barn door to see if I could spot Daisy anywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. Iwondered if she had run off somewhere to be alone for a while or if my dad had told her something to do. Either way, I was worried.
What am I supposed to do now? I apologized, but she didn’t want to hear it. I’m sure I would be mad, too, if the roles were reversed. I honestly couldn’t blame her. I probably wouldn’t want to hear any explanation either…at least not yet, when it was still so fresh. Maybe she was taking some time to process it all, and she would come find me later to talk…just maybe.
I took a deep breath, deciding to focus on the work I needed to do instead. I could control this, but I couldn’t control Daisy. I hopped on Shadow and let him go, feeling the adrenaline as we set off through the fields toward the far end of the ranch. I guided Shadow, giving him gentle nudges.
As we rode, my thoughts still drifted to the argument with Daisy. I could still feel the tension between us, and the weight of knowing this all fell on me was so heavy.
I focused on the nature surrounding me, bringing me some calmness when I thought of the simple joys that this way of life brings.
? ? ?
My mother and I rode on occasions together, just the two of us. The sun was shining brightly, and the wind was blowing with a gentle breeze. I could smell the flowers.
“Colt?” I looked at her, listening to her soothing voice. “You know I want you to be happy, don’t you?” I nodded. “If this place here brings you happiness, then stay.” She waited a minute and spoke again. “Happiness isn’t something you find. It’s something you create. I want you to create your own happiness, baby. I want you to find your reason and love.”
Her smile was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled with so much wisdom. My mom was the kindest person. She always gave the best advice, but this lesson stuck with me more than any other.
“Colt, whenever you’re feeling lost or unsure, remember to look around you. Find joy in the little things. Do things that give you peace. That is where you will find your answers and comfort.”
? ? ?
I missed my mom so much. It was times like these that I wish she were here to lend me an ear and give me some of her wisdom.
When we reached the pasture, I scanned the herd. I hopped off Shadow, wrapping his lead around the fence. I wentinside the fence, trying to get a better look. I counted heads to ensure everything was there. The cows were munching on the field in the grass, some lying around to get in a nice nap. I felt relief when I counted thirty heads. At least everything was good for someone.
As I turned to head back to Shadow, I rubbed my head. My head was starting to thump, and I knew a headache was coming- one caused by pure stress.
