“Tell me one more thing. Did you agree?” I nodded, and I knew it was hurting her. I could see it in her eyes.
“Daisy, I’m sorry.”
“Are you sorry that your dad told you to do that, although he had no right to? Are you sorry that you agreed? Or are you sorry that you asked me out last night and things ended up getting heated between us?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t know whatto say. I looked at the ground but caught a quick peek long enough to see tears forming in Daisy’s eyes. I had only seen Daisy cry on one occasion- her mom’s funeral. I knew at that moment that I had not only broken a promise to my dad, but also to her.
? ? ?
“Colt?”
“Daisy?”
“You know how much you mean to me, don’t you? We’ve been friends for fifteen years.”
“Yeah, it’s been a long fifteen years of me putting up with that sass of yours. I guess my first two years of life were to prepare me, but there’s no way anyone could ever be that prepared.” She punched my shoulder and we both laughed. “No, but... seriously, Daisy. I’m glad you’ve stuck around all these years.” She smiled, and it nearly took my breath away. Every dang time she smiled, it made me feel a way I had never felt before. I never knew seeing someone else happy could bring myself so much happiness at the same time.
“It hasn’t always been easy.” We laughed again. We stayed in this constant state, and it made me always want to be around her. Any time she was at the ranch was a good time.
“Hey. You know I always got your back, don’t you?
“Always.”
“No matter what happens, I’ll never hurt you, Daisy.”
“I know.”
? ? ?
I leaned against the barn door, staring blankly out at the fields. My heart was so heavy. I could still hear Daisy’s words and the look on her face when I told her the truth. How could a night so perfect and with so much heat lead to a morning like this? Now, everything was just overshadowed by the weight of my promise to my dad.
I ran my fingers through my hair. Why did I let it gothat far? Why didn’t I just tell her last night before all of this happened? I was the one who asked her to go to the bar, so this was all on me. I promised I would keep all this as strictly business, and now my mind was occupied with the thoughts of Daisy and me as kids and the way I felt about her then. But after last night, the feelings I had for her as a kid couldn’t compare.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I was hoping I would see Daisy’s name. Instead, it was a weather notification. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was never supposed to hurt her. Her leaving was hard enough on me, but I still never wanted her to feel the same pain I felt then. I can’t do this.
I knew I wanted to be with Daisy, but what if we continue with things like last night, and once summer ends, she decides to go back to the city? She could very well leave here again. She had a life in the city. She had a job. Why would she just leave that? Was that a risk I was willing to take?
I felt torn between two worlds- my heart yearning for one of the most amazing people I have ever known and my loyalty to my father pulling me back to reality.
Chapter Sixteen
Daisy
Iran into my room, plopping on the bed. I pulled my legs up to my chest and let myself cry for a little bit. I hadn’t cried in so long- not since my mom’s funeral. I wasn’t an emotional person like this, and I hated crying. I sat up on the bed, letting the tears I had left flow down my face.
His words echoed, ‘He told me to leave you be. He told me that I was to leave you alone…I wasn’t supposed to let anything happen between us. This was supposed to be strictly business.’
How could Colt do this? How could he not even bother to tell me? He asked me out. If he made a promise like that and had an intention of keeping it, then why did he ask me to the bar? Why did he dance with me? Why did he touch me or kiss me…more than once? This was on him. He was at fault, not me. I only followed the signs. I guess the only thing I could blame myself for was letting my guard down.
I hugged my knees to my chest, feeling the weight of his words. What kind of promise is that? Why would his dad ask him to make a promise like that in the first place? That part didn’t make any sense. I couldn't wrap my head around it.
The memories of our laughter and smiles as kids when we played, talked, rode horses together, and went for a joy ride in his truck came flooding back. How could we ever go from that to this? It didn’t seem real. All the sweet memories we shared were now overshadowed by this one... this one stupid thing that might just be the absolute breaking point.
The room was quiet, but inside I felt a storm passing through. I wanted to scream but knew not to because the Lord only knew what Walt would do in that case. There would be no denying that something was wrong then. I wish Colt could see how I was last night. I wish he could see how I have been when riding through the fields with him while I’ve been here and feel how I have felt. Maybe then he would see how much he means to me.
Even after all these years apart, Colt was still a steady presence. But now, I wonder how much longer he will hold a place in me. The fear of losing him again broke my heart, and all I could do was cry.
I finally went into the bathroom, wiping away my tears. I cleaned my face and gave myself a little pep talk, taking a deep breath. ‘You’ve got this. You’re strong. You’ve gone through a lot harder than this and still came out on the other side.’ I took another slow, deep breath and walked outside, stopping myself for a moment on the porch to feel the breeze.
“Hey, Daisy.” I looked at Walt standing there with his dog, Hank. “I’m headed to give the cows some hay. Come along. You can help unload.”
