On one side, I saw Daisy. She was sitting on thetailgate of my truck, laughing. Another image came to mind; this time, she was in the barn brushing the horses. I saw her riding horses with me, her hair blowing in the breeze, and I saw her riding beside me in my truck, her skin on mine, and the prettiest smile I ever saw on her face. She was like a piece of art, every curve and contour told a story that captivated me, making me want to look every inch of her over. She had a strong presence around her, making anywhere she went full of life. Every glance at her left something else to be admired. She was a dream, and I didn’t want to let this dream go.
On the other side, I saw my dad. I saw moments of him talking with and dancing with my mom- all the good times they shared. I saw him working around the ranch day after day, and I followed him around ever since I could walk because I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to run this ranch someday and make him proud. I heard his stern and unwavering voice. I heardmyself speaking to him, promising him he had nothing to worry about, that there wouldn’t be anything between me and his best friend’s daughter. We were in the past, after all.
But now, what if Daisy could be my future?
I rolled over in the bed, facing the windows. ‘Am I going to hurt her?’ I whispered. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I rolled over again, this time spreading my arm out, realizing how much space was on the other side of me in the bed. What if something could fill that space…or someone?
I knew I had to make a choice, and the thought of losing Daisy felt like I would be empty once more, just when I was starting to be myself again. The thought of hurting my dad and going back on my word made me feel like I was letting him and my grandfather down. Our word was religion around here, and without that, what did we have?
With a sigh, I closed my eyes, trying to quiet the storm within me. I needed clarity, just a single moment of peace to figure out what to do in this impossiblesituation. I needed to know what was really in my heart and what I wanted for my future. I only hoped that whatever was in there, I would have thecourage to follow it and not let fear dictate my path. If my dad and Daisy had one thing in common, they both taught me to face my fears head-on, no matter how hard it was.
Chapter Fourteen
Daisy
Ilay in bed, wondering what was running through Colt’s mind. The last thing I expected when my dad told me I needed to come here, and pretty much forced me to stay here for the summer, was to end up reconnecting with Colt. I especially didn’t think we would reconnect in this way. I was sure my dad wouldn’t love the idea of me off with someone instead of keeping my focus on the ranch and working. I don’t know what I would say to him if he were to find out.
I rolled over in bed, picturing the magical night I had with Colt. I let peace come, focusing on the silence, knowing whatever was going to happen could happen in the morning.
* * *
I got up the next morning, quickly changing, and ran into the kitchen for some coffee. I noticed a note on the counter, letting me know Walt and Colt were out in town getting some supplies and would be back in a few hours. I enjoyed the serenity around me while I finished my coffee, then I rinsed out my cup and walked out to the barn. I wasn’t eager to clean out the stalls, but I was eager to see the horses. I hadn't realized how muchI had missed being around horses while I have been away. I cleaned out their stalls, made sure they all had food and water, then took down the brush. One by one, I brushed them- Titan first, then Shadow, and then Domino. It had only been about an hour and a half, and since I didn’t have a list made for me or Walt here to tell me what all I needed to do, I decided to go for a ride.
“Hey, Domino. Do you want to go for a ride?” I grabbed the saddle, ready to feel the wind in my hair.
* * *
When I started, I kicked Domino into high gear so I could feel nothing but the wind blowing against my face, moving my hair every which way. I pulled the reins to slow Domino down, taking in the scenery around me. The sun was casting a bright light across the open fields, and the sounds of hooves against the soft earth were soothing, like a gentle heartbeat that matched mine. I stopped Domino so I could admire the view around us, closing my eyes briefly to absorb it all. I took a deep breath, smelling the flowers and grass. As we continued, I could feel all my tension seep away. The world around me was so alive, and after the night I had, I was ready to take on whatever the day would bring.
I began to make my way back to the ranch, the sun now fully lighting the path. The familiar sights of Texas Rose Ranch brought joy to my heart and a smile to my face, but the sounds of voices caught my attention.
Rounding a bend, I spotted Colt, my cowboy, and Walt unloading items from the back of their truck. They were chatting about something- probably about what needed to be accomplished for the day. I could see some bags and feed for the animals as I arrived closer to the barn to put Domino back in the stall.
I felt a warmth in my heart as I watched Colt and Walt work together, remembering all the times I sat on the porch or various places around the ranch through the years as kids,watching them two together. Colt had always wanted to be like his dad and take over someday, and I knew this was his element. He was made for this. I hopped off Domino, taking the lead in my hand, and walked him into the stall. The smell of hay and leather surrounded me. I rubbed his nose once I closed the stall door, pressing my forehead against him, feeling his warmth. He was so gentle, and I was glad Colt had suggested I ride this horse.
I turned and hadn’t noticed that Colt had made his way inside the barn. He was organizing the supplies he and Walt had picked up in town this morning. I steppedcloser to him, trying to get a look at him. We had shared such a close bond as kids, and I could feel how close we were starting to get after this time being back here, especially after last night. I approached him, trying to catch his eye.
“Hey, Colt. How was the trip?” I was trying to keep it casual, not trying to get ahead of myself or let any anxiety creep in.
Colt turned to look at me for a moment, giving me a small smile, but then he quickly turned back to continue unpacking things from the bags and boxes.
“It was good. Just got what we needed.” His response was quick, not giving me much room to continue the conversation. I furrowed my brow, twisting a piece of my hair through my fingers.
“I saw you and your dad talking when I got back from riding Domino. You two seemed like you had a good time. Did you find anything interesting in town?” I placed my hand against his back, wanting to have a little reminder of our time together and the way it felt when we touched. I hoped pressing him further would help him open up and continue the conversation.
Colt shifted his weight just enough so my hand was no longer touching his back. He glanced around the barn like he was looking for something. I turned, unsure if he was going tospeak or not.
“Yeah, just the usual stuff. Just a typical trip.” He was still avoiding my gaze, and I could feel the anxiety creep up on me. A lump formed in my throat and I felt sweat form on my hands. I wiped them on my jeans. I took a step closer to Colt, trying to remain calm.
“Colt, is everything okay? You seem…different.” I spoke softly, hoping that he couldn’t sense all the emotions I was currently trying to suppress. “Did you and your dad get into a disagreement while you were in town or something? If you did, you can tell me. You can talk to me about it, whatever it is.”
He finally looked at me, and for a moment I caught a glimpse of the same man that asked me to dinner yesterday. The same man who took me on what apparently was my first date. The same man that had so much gentleness in him, despite his rugged exterior. The same man that touched me so gently and softly, making me crave something I had never felt before. I hoped his expression would lighten up, but when he turned again, I was filled with so much uncertainty.
“I’m fine, Daisy. Just tired, I guess.” His words felt rehearsed. I folded my arms, contemplating my next words.
“You know you can talk to me, right? We always used to talk to each other about everything. If something is bothering you…”
“It’s nothing. I’m fine. Just busy. There’s a lot to get done today.” I felt worried, hating the way this was going. I just wanted a conversation with him, and this was not how I expected our first interaction to go after last night. I didn’t want to keep prying, but I knew I deserved more than this. He tried to shut me down once when we were kids, and another time since I had started staying here, and I wasn’t about to let him do it again.
