I grabbed my purse, getting to my feet. “This was lovely.” It really wasn’t. Not by any stretch of the imagination. “It was nice to meet you.”
“We should do this again sometime,” Mark agreed.
No. That wasn’t going to happen.
I nodded, as if I wasn’t making a mental note to block his number the moment I was out the door.
Honestly… I think I might rather roll around on glass shards and drink an entire gallon of expired milk than spend another minute listening to Mark talk.
But… at least I had to have gotten the bad date out of the way. Mark waved, strolling away from me with a smirk on his face, like he actually thought that the evening had gone well. Did he even realize that I never ever answered the question? Mark didn’t even get to find out what sort of things I bring to these metaphorical tables.
Maybe theonlypart of the date that went well was the fact that Mark had forgotten to follow up with that, because I wasn’t any closer to figuring out an answer to this bringing-things table nonsense, anyway.
There was no way that all my dates would end up like this… if online dating was this terrible, there’s no way that so many people would keep putting up with it.
Things had to get better… right?
CHAPTER 5
AVRIL
No partof me was willing to run the risk of going on another date with a guy like Mark. I allowed myself to be a lot more choosy. It helped that I had another five hundred matches on my dating app. Ignoring all the alphas, I took a hard look at the handful of betas, who matched with me.
I had a good feeling about tonight. There was just something in Peter’s expression that seemed wholesome. It would honestly shock me if he mentioned anything about stocks, or followed any advice that came out of the lips of a Podcast bro.
The date was off to a fine start. Peter arrived right on time. I was snuggled nice and comfy against velvet cushions with my favorite drink in hand when he strode into The Thirsty Pearl.
I waved him over, quickly appraising how real-life Peter matched up to his profile.
Alright. So far, so good. Peter wasn’t tall, but he was tall enough that I would be at least the same height in my heels. He was dressed pretty casually for a date, just in a simple graphic-T and jeans that clashed with my satin A-line skirt and silk blouse. But at least he didn’t look horrible.
He smiled and complimented me, and everything seemed to be going normally… at least until we got to ordering.
I was focused on keeping my blushing under control as Sexy David flashed me his best customer service wink. Jeez, the man just looked at me and I melted.
Peter ordered a simple Alfredo dish, and water with alemon. He said it like, “don’t forget to add a lemon,” as if that made the drink special somehow, with thefancylittle citrus wedge.
I ordered the usual—my chicken caesar salad—and the smile dropped right off of Peter’s face. He didn’t even try to hide it when he shook his head. Uhh, Peter had to have a reasonable explanation for this, right? “Are you vegetarian?”
“No, I don’t eat chicken.” He lowered his voice as if telling me an urgent secret. “It is not the way.”
Wait, thewhat? The way to where? To the other side of the road, if this chicken tried to cross it?
Sexy David watched my interaction with my date with a frown. He shot me alook, asking me wordlessly if I wanted him to intervene. I shook my head subtly and waited until he reluctantly left the table to give the chef our order.
I was a big girl. I didn’t need any muscular bartender as backup—I could awkwardly eat chicken in front of my date without his support.
“What’s wrong with eating chicken?” Did I even want to know?
Peter looked around the Thirsty Pearl, even though it was rarely a packed venue to begin with, and this was a Tuesday night. There was only one other couple, and they were seated all the way on the other side of the Pearl. But it was hardly a good sign that Peter was making sure that he wasn’t about to be overheard. Something shady was definitely about to go down.
“It’s part of the sacred texts. In the Second Genesis, chapter two, paragraph three. My true sons and daughters shall not eat of the flying beasts, for they roam closer to the Lord.”
“Uh huh.” I wasn’t super familiar with church stuff, but none of that sounded… like… normal. What religion had problems with chicken? I knew that some of them made bacon and shrimp forbidden, but this was a new one for me. “Second Genesis? Is that like Catholic?”
“No, it’s from the Revelations of the Great Prophet Steven Brown,” Peter was solemn, nodding gravely as if the words he’d just uttered should come with their own soundtrack from an epic Blockbuster trilogy.
“Actually, I think I might have heard something about the Stevie Movement.” It was in a warning email—about avoiding religious scams from cults.
