“She took it, didn’t she?” I asked. He looked up at me, his face telling me everything I needed to know. Mom stole his phone and used it to call one of her dealers. She then kicked Alex out topayfor her stuff.Fuck this shit.
“Fuck.” I slammed my fists down on the steering wheel, not too hard. I was stronger than humans and I didn’t want to break the only thing that could get me and Alex away from here. I was saving money, but there were bills and food. It was never enough, and the Shadow didn’t help us at all.
“Let’s go get something to eat, hey, Alley Cat?” I scuffed his hair as Bagheera made his presence known.
My brother, my Alex.Alley Cat. The only reason I was still living here had a huge smile at the sight of the little black cat calling out from the back seat.
“You got a cat?” He reached over and patted him as I took off to find something open to feed us both.
“I did. He’s going to stay with us. I promised someone I would take care of him.”
Alex raised his brow at me as Bagheera nestled into his lap. The smile on his face told me this cat had come to the right place. Alex would take care of him. He needed this cat more than the cat needed him. I didn’t give a shit what Mom said about Bagheera.
She bought us a pet dog once. We did everything for Waffles. We taught him how to sit and stay. He was the best present she ever gave us. That was until the ranger came and took him from us. And she wouldn’t go to the pound to get him. She didn’t care and said she didn’t have the money to get him back.
But she had enough for the bottles of booze she drank that night. After that, I learned not to ask her for a pet again. This was different now. I would take care of Bagheera.
“Burgers?” I asked Alex. His smile beamed as he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“With a shake?”
I laughed. “Always with a shake.”
When I returned homewith Alex and Bagheera, I found Mom passed out on the bathroom floor. Alex glanced at her for a moment then took Bagheera to our room. I ran my hands down my face at the sight of her. I let out a deep breath and sighed. I reached down to touch her clammy skin.
“Mom, Mom… wake up.” She groaned and lifted her hand to swat me away. I took it and pulled her up to a sitting position.
“Mom, for fuck’s sake. Get up off the floor.” She didn’t open her eyes, she just flopped into my arms and nestled against my chest. She mumbled something. It could have been my name but I wasn’t sure. I scooped her small frame into my arms and carried her to her room.
Her clothes were scattered all over her bed and the floor was littered with junk she had collected over the years. It was hard to move without falling. I waded through the crap and placed her on the mattress. It smelled bad. I couldn’t stand it, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. As long as we kept the door closed, we could pretend this didn’t exist.
I threw a blanket over her as I watched her breathing. I was always worried that it would be the last time I saw her alive. That she would overdose and that would be it. We would be all on our own. Sometimes, I wondered if that would be better.
I didn’t know if it really would be.
I closed the door and moved into the kitchen, cleaning bottles from the counter and wiping everything down. I cleaned every day. I made sure we all had food and clean clothes on our backs. Alex did a lot of chores too, but the only thing I asked of him was to do his homework. That was the most important task for him. To get an education and get out of here. Find a Shadow that would accept him for who he was. And he was an amazing little dude. Any Shadow would be lucky to have him.
I snuck into the room I shared with Alex. He was already fast asleep. I was quiet as I stripped down to my boxers and moved onto my mattress. I laid on my back, staring at the paint peeling on the roof of the trailer and processing all that had happened tonight. My panther paced inside, restless. He wanted to be free again. Always wanting to be free. But this was different. He wanted to go toher. He wanted to protect Clare.
I wished I was back on campus with Clare. She thought I was in a fraternity—she thought I was a college student. She didn’t see me and straight up think I was a thug, some lowlife. Her smile was genuine. I could smell her attraction to me. I could smell many emotions, but that one I focused on as I was attracted to her too.
The life she thought I had, it was everything I dreamed of at night… She was the kind of girl I dreamed one day to have. The real deal. A real job, a wife to come home to. Someone to ask how my day was, kiss me, and a house full of kids running underfoot. The Hallmark dream. The life I always longed for.
Only, dreams like that, they never came true for people like me.
Chances were, I would be a full member of the Reapers by the end of the year. Then that was it. My dreams of a different life would be over. There was no out with them. But maybe that was what I deserved. I had already done so much bad shit in my life as it was. It was going to catch up with me one day. Karma was a bitch and would bite me in the ass one day when I least expected it.
As long as I kept Alley Cat away from the Reapers and out of trouble. He could leave this place, go to college far away and live the life we both should have had. That was all I wanted for him. If sacrificing myself guaranteed his happiness, I would do it without question over and over again.
But tonight, those few moments with Clare… I felt like I had the chance of a lifetime.
A new beginning. With her.
Chapter5
Clare
It was Thursday’s lunch—the only time I spent with the only friends I made in class. But friends was a stretch of the word. I think they only truly tolerated me because they felt bad for me. Glenn was droning on about something to do with horses. I liked horses, but I didn’t want to hear about the pus that was coming from a wound his horse once had while I was trying to eat my lunch. No, any sane person would think that was a conversation for another time. Not these people. They all hung off everything he said.
