“You sure you’re okay to drive?”
Gripping the door, he shoves it open. “I am. You were right about the food. It did help.”
“Let’s see if you can make it to your car on your own first before making any rash assumptions.”
“Yeah, yeah, fine. You sound like everyone else now.”
“So, suddenly caring about your well-being after you nearly collapsed two hours ago on the trail makes me everyone else?”
“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” He moves to exit the car and I grab his arm.
“One more thing. Friends usually know each other’s names. You know mine. What’s yours?”
“Oh. Right. Silas.”
I smile. “Get home safely, Silas.”
A slight blush creeps onto his cheeks. “I will, Elijah.” He exits the car and gives me one more smile before closing the door. When he’s in his car I start mine, but don’t head home until after he disappears down the road.
The guilt is back by the time I reach my house. When I see his water bottle on the floor as I’m exiting the car I reach for it,and for the first time I notice his name written across the center. I rub over the letters with my thumb and the pain in my heart increases when I realize I’m smiling again. The small amount of peace he offers is nice while it lasts, and then when he leaves I fall back into the hell I was in before he showed up.
I’m about to walk into an empty house, shower without any unexpected surprises, cook only for myself, and go to bed next to an empty space never to be filled again. Silas might offer me a break from the truth but at the end of the day, when he’s gone and I have to face my reality, I’m back in a place and life I was supposed to spend with someone else. I’m back to wishing they took and killed me instead.
Landon’s apron sits on the hook in the kitchen and I yank it off to pull it to my nose. I can’t smell him on it anymore. The pictures I packed away are the only ones we’ll ever take together. He won’t ever wear any of his clothes again or put his wedding ring back around his neck. The sneakers he used at the gym every morning will never move from next to the front door or be worn again. No more floral or cinnamon tea aroma filling the kitchen. He was the only one of the two of us who liked the stuff. I clutch his apron tighter, holding it to my chest as I think about how its only purpose is to be the proof he was ever here to begin with while collecting dust on the wall.
He really is gone, and my only choice is to move on. There’s no turning around or changing fate. Hanging out with Silas won’t bring him back. Neither will staying away.
He did say he wanted to continue being friends. I had those during my marriage and have them now.
What’s one more?
Fifteen
Elijah
Holding the bottle to my chest, I use my other hand to pound on the door. I glance around me, careful not to step back into the succulents littering the porch, when a loud honk sounds around me. This is the right house, isn’t it? It was the last address Stacey added to her contact info. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone through it, but I didn’t know the next time I’d see Silas and wanted to return his water bottle in case he needed it again for one of his walks around the trail.
On my fourth knock, the door finally pulls open and Silas’s eyebrows bunch together, his cheeks splattered in what I assume is yellow paint. “Elijah?”
“Hey. You left something in my car yesterday.” I lift the water bottle in the air and he slowly takes it from me.
“Oh, thanks. How’d you find out where I lived?”
“Every employee has it in their contact info for emergency purposes.”
“And this was an emergency?”
“You seemed to really need it the other day, so maybe.” I grin, glancing behind him and at his paint covered clothes. “Are you painting or something?”
“I . . . er . . . yeah.” He chuckles. “I got tired of looking at the dark gray in my bedroom, so I decided to go to the hardware store and pick up something a little brighter.”
“I guess you can’t get any brighter than the color yellow.”
“Nope. It reminds me of the sky, and if I could stay all day under the sun I would. I used to try, but then Stacey would force me to come inside after I started to burn. Sunblock doesn’t always work for people with my complexion.” He leans against the doorframe.
“I see. Well, do you need some help? I have a little time to kill if so.”
“Does the bookstore or restaurant not need you today?”
