Sighing, she lowers into a chair and places her hands in her lap. Instead of looking at me, her eyes are pointed at Landon’s and my wedding photo. “He was sick.”
My stomach sinks. “Sick how?”
She still doesn’t look at me. “He found out only two days before and didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Sick how?” I ask again this time practically shouting the words.
She finally looks at me. Devastation heavy in her soft blue eyes. “The doctor found a tumor in his brain. He had a lot of tests done when he kept randomly passing out or getting dizzy.”
“I remember that. We were hoping it was him spending too much time on his feet in the hot kitchen.” I laugh awkwardly at the silliness of it all, at how wrong we obviously were. Of course it was worse than we’d thought. My gut twisted the last time he got lightheaded in the shower, the way it did when the cops said what happened to us was probably a case of the wrong place at the wrong time. The bad feelings keep coming and I really want them to be wrong for once.
Nodding her head, she continues. “They didn’t find anything from all the blood tests and then they did a CAT scan. He called me while he was still in the parking lot. He said they didn’t knowwhat kind of tumor it was or if it was cancerous, but it was in a dangerous area which might make surgery an impossible option.”
“He called you but not me,” is all I manage to say. We never kept anything from each other.
“He wanted to. I promise he did. He said you were the first person he thought of when they told him.”
“Then why didn’t he? How many other things was he keeping from me? First the money and now this.”
Her eyes wrinkle in the corners and she appears as lost as I am. “What money?”
“Apparently my husband was a millionaire and didn’t think to tell me.”
Gasping, she lifts her hand to her mouth. “A millionaire? How?”
“His grandma’s money. He was the only one left anything. It makes sense why his family kept coming after his wallet like thieving vultures.” He got everything and they got nothing. They didn’t deserve it. Landon was the only one who took care of his grandmother on her worst days—brought her food and stayed with her in the hospital during the last days of her life. He said if he didn’t, no one else would, and she was like a mother to him. She raised him and his other siblings, but he was the only one who didn’t take her for granted or blame her for their mom running off.
“He didn’t tell me anything about that. He did say if something happened to him, he wanted to make sure you didn’t have a single worry in the world.”
“So much for that.” I lower myself into the closest chair. “Ever since he went missing, all I do is fucking worry.” A prickly sensation in the back of my neck tells me it won’t end anytime soon.
Shifting in her seat, she rests her hands on the table, peering at me with sympathetic eyes. “I’m sure whatever reason he had, it was a good one.”
“I’ll never know what that is now, will I? At least he didn’t take all his secrets to the grave and let me have something.” Doesn’t matter if I don’t want it or not. He was sick. My husband took me on a romantic boat ride to tell me he was sick. Nausea creeps up my throat and I close my eyes, trying to shake it off. This is too much. Losing Landon. All the secrets. The possibility of him not living to see another year whether he got on that boat or not. I was going to lose him anyway, wasn’t I?
“It’s better not to fret on it. All you’ll do is drive yourself insane.”
“Yeah.” Easy for her to say. Not wanting to continue this conversation, I give her what she wants and plaster on a smile. “I’ll call the funeral home tomorrow and we’ll go from there.”
“Good,” she says with a little surprise showing in her brightening gray eyes. She thinks she got through to me and it’s better for her to. I won’t bend so easily but she doesn’t have to know that. I’ll get the truth one way or another. About everything. There won’t be any resting until I do.
“Do you need me to be here when you do?”
“No. I gotta do this alone.”
She nods in understanding, slowly getting to her feet. “Well, you know I’m here if you ever need anything.”
“Yeah . . . thanks.” If only she understood, I don’t know what I need right now. When other people are around it’s too loud and when I’m alone it’s too quiet. Outside is as suffocating as inside. Reminders of Landon are hard to be around but I also have the need to be as close to him as possible. It’s torturous. I’m being pulled in every direction. My thoughts and emotions are coming at each other like a game of tug-of-war. I don’t know which way to go to be okay again.
“I’m your family too,” she says softly.
As if I don’t already know that. She’s the sister Landon and I never had. While I lost touch with my half brother right after our mom died, Landon tried to be close to his siblings. They made it hard, though. His two brothers and sister only came around to cause trouble. Being a foster kid for half my life, I didn’t have to deal with all the family drama he did. I had the opposite problem. He couldn’t get his family to leave him alone, while I was never enough for any of mine to want to keep me around after losing my mom. My brother had his dad, who moved him far away, while I had no one.
“I know, and I’m yours.”
“Don’t ever forget it, asshole.” Smiling, she bends to the floor to grab her purse. “I better go before the sitter calls again. She said something about Danny melting his sister’s Barbie in the microwave. I don’t want him setting the whole house on fire.”
Biting back a chuckle, I get out of my seat and walk her to the door. “I do miss those crazy kids. Bring them with you next time. I’d love to see them.”
