“Burning the midnight oil again, I see,” a voice said from the doorway. I looked up from my paperwork and saw Paul leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.
Paul was my general manager and close friend. He’d been with me from the very start, working alongside me to make our agency one of the leading names in advertising. I wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far without his expertise, or his friendship for that matter.
“Someone around here has to do it,” I grumbled.
Paul’s eyes narrowed, and he shut the door. Walking into my office, he sank down in the chair across from me. I stared at him warily. The frown he wore looked out of place on his usually smiling face and I knew he must have something important he needed to discuss.
“What’s going on with you lately?” he asked, concern marring his features.
“What do you mean?” I could hear the defensive edge in my voice and I was sure that he’d picked up on it too because his jaw tightened.
“I mean, you’ve been working a ridiculous number of hours, you’re barking orders around here like a drill sergeant and you’re putting everyone on edge,” he stated firmly. “You act like you’re trying to save a sinking ship, but the business is thriving. We have more clients than ever before, and we just landed another huge account. So, I’m going to ask again. What’s going on with you?”
I pulled my reading glasses off and tossed them on top of my desk. I sighed wearily as I rubbed my eyes. I thought I’d been doing a good job of hiding my misery, but apparently, I was just making everyone else miserable along with me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was being an overbearing ass. I’ll apologize to everyone in the morning,” I assured him.
“You don’t need to apologize. No one’s angry, we’re worried. We all care about you, Sam, and we know this isn’t like you,” he explained, his tone gentling.
My shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just been in a slump since Brooklyn left for school. It’s weird not having her at home, you know?”
I looked at my friend who gave me a sympathetic smile. Paul was married with three boys all under the age of ten, so he couldn’t possibly know what it was like to feel like your life had lost some of its meaning, like you were suddenly set adrift after years of careful planning and whirlwind activity. He was still living a life filled with chaos and noise and trying to keep everyone on schedule. A pang of jealousy, sharp and swift, rushed through me. I pushed it aside, not wanting to feel that way toward my friend and knowing he didn’t deserve it.
“I know you miss her a great deal; she’s an amazing young woman. This is a great opportunity for you though. You can do all the things you weren’t able to do before. You and Gayle can travel some, enjoy visiting places you’ve only dreamed of seeing before. Maybe take up golf or tennis,” he suggested.
I knew he was only trying to be helpful, so I pasted a smile on my face. “You’re right. I’m sure there’s plenty I can do that will keep me busy and active. Can’t let myself get fat and lazy,” I joked. It sounded forced to me, but Paul must’ve bought it because he smiled, rapping his knuckles on the top of my desk.
“Now you’re talking. Although, you don’t have anything to worry about. You’re in better shape than anyone else our age.” He rolled his eyes as if annoyed by my physical appearance and when I laughed that time, it was more genuine.
“Okay, buddy. I’m going to get out of here. You should do the same. It’s Friday night, take your lady out on a date,” he suggested.
He stood, but he didn’t make a move toward the door and I knew he was waiting to see if I’d follow his instructions. Paul had always been a worrier, but I couldn’t fault him for it. It was that constant care that made him such an excellent friend. Silently, I gathered my things and followed him out the door.
It had gotten later than I’d realized, and I was surprised to see that it was dark outside. I was suddenly very grateful. Paul should’ve already been home, enjoying the weekend with his family, but instead he had stayed to check on me.
“I appreciate you talking to me. You’re a really good friend,” I said, slowing my steps as we neared his car.
Paul stopped and turned to me. “So are you. The very best. I know this hasn’t been easy on you and I just want to know that you’re alright.”
We shared a quick one-armed hug and then I told him to go home and enjoy his family. He smiled at me and waved as he backed his car out of the lot. I climbed into my own car, but I didn’t start the engine. Instead, I sat there, contemplating Paul’s words.
The distance between me and Gayle had grown exponentially in the time since Brooklyn left. Where before, we still laughed and talked, now we easily went several days without saying a word to each other. I wasn’t sure where we’d lost each other along the way, but I missed her. No matter what, she was the mother of my child and my best friend. Maybe Paul was right, and we just needed to spend more time together.
With that thought in mind, I started the car and began driving home. Along the way, I tried calling Gayle to see if she’d like to go out to dinner with me, but the call went straight to voicemail. I drove the rest of the way home, lost in my own thoughts as I tried to come up with a way to reconnect with my wife.
The house was dark when I got home, and Gayle’s car wasn’t in the garage. I tossed my keys on the table and made my way through the house, turning on lights as I went. The sound of a car pulling up the driveway caught my attention and I felt a bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach. Things between Gayle and me had always been fun and easy, but now they were awkward and stiff. I hated the tension that had begun to surround the two of us whenever we were in the same room.
The door opened, and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw me standing there. For a moment, we just stared at each other. She looked tired. I’d heard her tossing and turning throughout the night, and knew she’d been getting as little sleep as I had. As strange as it may be, I found an odd sense of comfort in that, as if I weren’t totally alone in my feelings.
I glanced down at the box she held in her hands then gave her a questioning look. She set it down on the table and then turned to me with a tentative smile. I couldn’t stand the awkwardness anymore. This was Gayle. I knew her better than anyone else and she knew me. It was ridiculous that we were tiptoeing around each other.
“We need to talk,” we both said at the same time. We stared at each other and then we started to laugh. It was nice, and it eased the tension immediately.
“I brought home a pizza. I thought maybe we could get in our jammies and just talk. Remember how we used to do that? Sometimes we’d stay up all night talking,” she said wistfully.
“I remember,” I answered. “Why don’t you go on up and get changed and I’ll open a bottle of wine, so it can breathe.”
I watched her walk away and then turned to the kitchen with a smile. This was exactly what we needed, the chance to clear the air and truly talk to one another. I had no idea what would come of it or where we’d end up, but it was a start.
