I’m tempted to storm off again, but Dad starts talking, slow and soft like he’s trying not to spook a newborn calf.
“I’m trying. I swear. I’m doing a shit job, I know, but—” He cuts him off to shove a hand through his steadily graying hair, obviously trying to shake off some of the tension. “Look, Oakley was always a natural leader. Took everything in stride, made it all look easy. She always had things handled before I even realized I needed to worry about her. Your brother was more easygoing, did everything that was expected of him. Never fought me on a damn thing until Kenzie. I thought I knew everything about fatherhood when we had you, but you test me every damn day, kid.”
He laughs, like it’s supposed to be a compliment. If I wasn’t such a wreck right now, I might even take it as one.
“I’ve never had any idea how to give you what you wanted, Maggie,” he admits, his voice cracking a bit as he drops his gaze to the dirt between us. “You’re my baby, my youngest, and I can’t help wanting to hold you close and protect you from everything.”
“I don’t need you to protect me,” I say, my voice more wobbly than I’d like to admit.
“I know, I know,” he says fondly. “You’re a tough cookie, always have been. Can do anything you set your mind to. But you sell yourself so short, don’t pursue anything seriously?—”
I cut him off with a scathing laugh, shaking my head in frustration when he meets my eyes again.
“I’ve never sold myself short,” I tell him firmly. “Not fucking once. I’ve always gone after whatever I wanted, no matter what anyone said. No matter whatyousaid. You’ve been shoving your expectations down my throat since I was a kid, and I’ve been telling you I wouldn’t follow your plans for my whole life. You never took me seriously when I told you what I want, and that’s why you don’t think I put effort into anything.” I ball my fists up so tight that my nails dig into my palms, and the burst of pain is enough to clear my head a little. “I know what I want. Maybe things have changed because of Bennett, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a different person. I still have my own plans, my own goals. And here you are, threatening to take it all away before I can even try. Just like you always do.”
Dad balks at the accusation, his face paling with every word that drops from my mouth. It’s been a long time since I tried to get through to him, and it feels like he’s finally hearing me. If it didn’t hurt so much, I’d count it as a victory.
“I never wanted to—you’re soyoung, Maggie,” he says, sounding a little helpless now. “I just wanted you to get some perspective on your options before you go making decisions like that. I wanted?—”
Mom reaches out and slides a hand up his arm, and his words splutter off into nothingness.
“This isn’t about what you want, David,” she says, her voice soft. “This is about our daughter being happy.”
He looks between the hand on his shoulder and Mom’s face, something unspoken passing between them, and then he deflates like a balloon. It’s not often that Mom insists he seereason, and it’s even rarer that he actuallylistens, but I think we all know this is the only way any of us can have a happy ending.
“I know you’re worried,” Mom says softly, her thumb brushing across Dad’s shoulder in a move I’ve seen countless times over the years. “But she’s not a kid anymore, David. You can’t keep clipping her wings.”
Dad looks at me—reallylooksat me, in what feels like the first time in years—and the anger in both of us drains away as soon as we lock eyes.
I let hope shine clearly on my face, all of the desire for acceptance that I usually keep under lock and key now so obvious it’s painful. Dad opens his arms, his lips twitching into something closer to a smile than a grimace.
Both of us let out choked sobs when I rush into his embrace.
“I’m sorry, kiddo.” His voice is thick with emotion, bristly facial hair scratching against my scalp, burly arms shaking as he hugs me tight. “Your mom’s right.You’reright. Been so scared that you’ll fall that I didn’t even consider letting you fly.”
I’m still scared, uncertainty lingering at the back of my head, but I push the writhing mass of toxicity down and let my heart soar. It’s been so long since I hugged Dad and meant it, so long since I felt he actually understood me. Maybe this is the first time he ever really has.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I choke out around my tears. “I just wanted you to trust me. Wanted you to believe in me like Oakley and Bo.”
Dad’s breath hitches in his chest, and I feel tears drip down over my forehead. “I’ve always believed in you, Maggie. I was just too worried about keeping you safe to let you see it, and I almost drove you away. Give your old man another shot at all this, would you?”
I laugh wetly, his attempt at nonchalance not fooling anyone with the way he’s crying just as openly as I am.
“Maggie, you have a motel room, right?” Mom asks, carding a gentle hand through my hair. “Why don’t we go back there for now? I think all of us could use some food and some rest and some time to settle. We can come back once we calm down, what do you say?”
I nod, the exhaustion of the last month all catching up to me at once. With the adrenaline fading in the face of some real progress being made, I feel like I could eat my bodyweight and then sleep for a week straight.
Taking a break is a good idea.
All of this has been so rushed, and the stress is too much for me to handle right now. I need some time to think, to take what comfort I can find in my parents, and figure out where to go from here.
“I’ll text Bennett and let him know,” I say as I pull away from Dad.
I may be absolutely furious with his suggestion, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to run off without saying anything. My days of running away from my problems are over.
It’s time to face life head on.
Chapter Twenty-Three
