Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, the butterflies in my stomach turning to balls of lead. Of course this matters more to me than it does to her. That’s always how it goes with me, isn’t it?
Fuck, I can’t believe I was stupid enough to even let myself hope.
My brows furrow at the look she gives me, searching and guarded. A flicker of something that almost looks like hopecrosses her face too fast for me to catch it properly, but my chest is too tight to think much on it. What would she even be hoping for?
I don’t want to think about other guys trying to tie her down, and I don’t want to think about how possessive I’ve grown of her. She was never mine, and clearly, she’s not going to be.
I was just letting my mind get away from me.
Stupid.
“Yeah, totally.” I force the words out through my teeth, shrugging even though it feels like I’m ripping my muscles apart to make the movement look natural. “I don’t date. Totally cool with me.”
Her face twitches like she wants to frown, but I just grit my teeth and turn my focus back to getting the tack in order. Fucking stupid. I can’t fall all over myself every time a pretty girl pays attention to me. Maybe I should head out to a bar sometime this week, find someone to fall into bed with.
The thought brings a foul taste to my mouth.
“Ben, can you get the far pastures this morning too? I need Bo to—Maggie?”
Both of us jump at the sound of David’s voice.
I narrowly avoid dropping a saddle straight onto my foot, thank Christ. There would be no avoiding suspicion if I did that. Maggie’s face is caught between paling in fearful surprise and the snarky mask I’ve gotten used to.
At least he saved us the awkwardness of figuring out what to say to each other after that.
“The fuck are you talking to my daughter for, Ben?” David asks, all warmth gone from his voice like it’s never been anything but grit and anger.
Maggie thankfully answers before I manage to put together a half-assed excuse. “God, can you chillout, Dad? How dare I say good morning, right?”
On second thought, maybe a shitty excuse would be better than flat out antagonization. I can’t believe I let myself be so stupid. Did I really think putting myself in this situation was worth a good fuck? Even if I—foolishly—allowed myself to dream about something more for a moment there, I should never have let anything happen. This isn’t aboutme.
If this blows up in my face, it’s going to rock the entire foundation of everything my Pa has worked on with David. To say he’d be pissed is putting it lightly.
David’s fiery glare doesn’t waver from my face, ignoring his daughter except for a scoff sent in her direction. His eyes are dark and his cheeks are red with barely restrained anger, his fists shaking at his sides as he stares me down. I do my best to make myself look smaller, but it’s hard to tuck more than six feet of bulky muscle in with any real effect.
“I expect you toworkwhile you’re here, boy,” he says, raking an unimpressed glare over me. “Not flirt with my daughter.”
Maggie once again cuts in before I can assure David that nothing of the sort was happening.
“Uh, hello?” she asks, waving a hand in her dad’s face and stepping closer to get his attention. “Can you hear? I was saying good morning and checking on his arm.”
“Why are you worried about his arm?” David asks sharply, his gaze finally snapping over to her.
I let out a silent, controlled sigh of relief, although I expect it’ll be short-lived. If I talked to my Pa like that, he’d pop me in the mouth, but David seems used to it.
“You do remember that I work at thedoctor’s office?” she asks, just as scathing and sharp, meeting her dad toe to toe. “And you remember Ben here slicing his arm open? Dr. Mulaney asked me to see if it was healing well or if she needed him to come back in. We’re both just doing our jobs.”
She and David are locked in a staring contest, both trying to prove they can out-last the other. If they weren’t standing in the doorway, I might try to sneak past them, but I’m stuck until they finish their argument.
David looks beside himself with fury, eyes flitting between me and Maggie like he can’t decide who he wants to lay into first. His nostrils flare wide and the muscles in his jaw clench hard enough for me to see even beneath his scruffy beard. Maggie, though, now that her surprise has worn off, looks positivelythrilled. That same light that flickers each time I argue with her shines bright in her eyes now, and the edge of a grin tugs at her lips. It’s there and gone so quickly that I almost miss it, but there’s no denying that she’s enjoying this.
She may not have planned on it happening, but it’s going exactly how she wants it to.
It’s more coldhearted than I expected from the girl who cried into my pillow when I took her virginity. She’s not even using me to toss her virginity away with someone hot, she’s using me to piss her dad off. I’m nothing but a pawn in her little game. I refuse to admit that the realization hurts.
I should’ve expected this. I shouldn’t have let myself hope for more.
“Since you’re so interested in that job of yours suddenly, you’d best get to it before you’re late,” David says, finally breaking the tense silence.
