“I’m making tea,” she says drily. “Why were you outwalkingin your pajamas and slippers? Seems like you got some hay on them.”
I can damn near taste the disbelief in her voice, and I scowl at a container of leftovers. I should’ve cleaned up before coming back in. “I just wanted some fresh air before bed. Is that a crime? My lovely new job has made me more conscious of my health.”
Mom scoffs at the sarcasm dripping from my tone, and I shove the fridge door closed with a little too much force.
Whatever, it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t believe me. If I don’t tell her anything, she won’t know anything. Easy as that. She sighs and turns back to her tea like the same thought is running through her mind.
“How do you like your new job?” she asks, picking the tea bag from her mug and tossing it in the trash.
I’m thankful she gave up that line of questioning, but I shrug carelessly, crossing my arms over my chest. Today was literally my first day, and it’s nothing to write home about, really. I played on my phone and occasionally took breaks to check people in or out. The most exciting thing so far was my little argument with Savannah, but I didn’t tell anyone but Penny about that. Knowing my parents, they’d scold me for being rude instead of congratulating me for standing up to a lifelong bully and giving the bitch a taste of her own medicine.
“It’s fine,” I say. “Boring, mostly. That Bennett guy came in today to get his arm stitched up. I guess it’s not a surprise since Dad manages to hire the clumsiest people every season.”
I wonder if he’ll have to come back in to get his stitches out. Or if he’ll hurt himself again before then. That would make it easier to see him, at least, since it’s hard to do anything with thethreat of Dad looming around every corner. If a few injuries is what it takes, so be it.
“Oh?”
“Hopefully, he won’t be in as often as Bo is,” I say with a snort. “If Bennett gets hurt anywhere near as often, we’ll go into medical debt.”
It would be nice to see him more often, especially away from home. The ranch is more his space than it is mine, even though I grew up here. I haven’t spent any time out there since middle school, when people started teasing me because my clothes were always covered in muck. It gutted me, back then, to step away from the ranch, from clinging to Dad’s side at every opportunity, but it’s what had to be done. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t resolved to never cover myself in filth again. Dad was upset when I stopped spending so much time with him, but that didn’t stop him from teasing me just like everyone else.
The doctor’s office is perfect, though. I can waste his time and wear him down until he goes crazy with how badly he wants me.
“Bennett, huh?” Mom asks softly, an indecipherable look on her face as she stirs her tea. “Didn’t know you knew the new guy so well. Have you two been spending a lot of time together?”
She glances pointedly toward the barn like she knows exactly what I was up to before coming back in. I keep my face carefully blank, blinking at her like I have no idea what she’s talking about. Of course she’d pick up on my use of his name when I never spend any time on the ranch. Stupid mistake. In my head, I’m hissing like a cornered cat, desperate to turn my mom’s attention away from whatever ideas she’s brewing. I can’t have anyone figure out my plans with Bennett, or I’ll be in hot fucking water.
“If you call checking him in when he came to the clinic spending time together,” I drawl, matching her intentionally casual tone. “What’s with the third degree? Paranoid much?”
Innocent until proven guilty. I’m not going to give her an inch.
Her friendly facade drops and she sighs heavily, setting her tea to the side. She doesn’t drop her gaze from mine, but her posture softens in weary acceptance. “I’m not accusing you of anything, Maggie. I’m just worried about you. You’re already on thin ice with your dad, and I can only deal with so much bullshit from the two of you. Your father made his rulesveryclear. You know better than to even think about dating any of the ranch hands. Don’t push this any further.”
Mom may not be the target of my frustration, but she sure is a convenient outlet. My anger flares again at the mention of the current ongoing argument between me and Dad.
“I’m not pushing anything,” I spit, my voice harsh. “All I’m trying to do is live my life. If he wants to try to control everything I do, he’s going to have to deal with the fallout.”
Mom’s eyes sharpen in warning. “Don’t go there. Not unless you want to lose your trust fundandyour relationship with your dad for good.” I scoff, opening my mouth to argue, but she doesn’t let me get a word in. “I’m serious. I know you, and I knowexactlywhat you’re thinking. I’m warning you, Magnolia, don’t burn that bridge.”
The use of my name has my skin itching with frustration and misplaced hurt. Mom almost never calls me that, she knows how much I hate it. I can still hear the echo of Bennett calling me that, echoing the same warnings my mom is giving me now, and it makes my gut twist unpleasantly.
“I’m not stupid.” My eyes roll to hide the flicker of uncertainty that I’m sure is showing in them. “You’re being ridiculous.”
Mom gives me a look like she can see right through me, and it makes me feel young and stupid for a searing second. “You don’t want to talk to me like you talk to your father, Maggie.”
I’m usually more respectful with her because she doesn’t let me push the way Dad does, but my patience is utterly fried tonight. I turn on my heel, not bothering to say goodnight before storming up the stairs. My bedroom door slams behind me, too loud for the hour of night, but I don’t care.
I collapse on my bed, my head spinning with insecurity and uncertainty again.
Dad wouldn’t really take my trust fund away entirely, no matter how scary the thought is. He’s not that kind of guy, and Mom wouldn’t let him if it really came down to it. The thought of losing my family, though? That’s enough to make my blood go cold in my veins. They might be uptight and demanding, but they’re still my family. Bo is still the one who made sure the bullying never got worse than words, lurking like a menacing shadow behind me when he was still in school. Oakley is the one who always held me when it got to be too much, when I broke down in tears and wished for everything to change. Mom and Dad are hardasses, but they’ve never let me bite off more than I could chew.
Even with all of that, though, none of them seem to be willing to accept me for who I actually am.
Why am I always the odd one out? Oakley and Bo figured out a way to get our parents to accept their choices, but Mom and Dad seem so stuck in their decisions when it comes to me. I just want the freedom to be the person I want to be, the person I am, to not have to follow along with someone else’s expectations when my plans are simply waiting for me to start.
Tears burn at my eyes, but I blink them away with brutal determination.
I’m not going to back down this time. My life is going to go the wayIwant it to, for fuck’s sake, and neither Dad nor Bennett get a say in that. They can have whatever expectations of me that they want, but they’re nothing more than pawns to me right now.
