“Today is the anniversary of my brother’s death. He passed twenty-one years ago today, and we buried an empty casket.”
“Oh, my goodness!” She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and placing her hand on his leg. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“You only didn’t know because I didn’t tell you,” he admitted. “There are a lot of things I haven’t spoken about, and perhaps I never will, but there are things I must speak about before they break me. Then, there are the things I have already spoken to you about that I didn’t think I would tell anyone. I feel at acrossroads, but there are more than four options. It’s as if I’m spinning in place, and when I finally stop, that’s the direction I’ll take. I don’t know how to explain it any better than that.”
She hoped with her heart that their conversation would not sour. It was when he was at his most vulnerable that she felt closest to him. As she sat, listening to him convey his emotions, holding his hand, she knew she loved him. She was at a junction. One road led to pure happiness, and the other led to a broken heart. Only, she wasn’t the one who would choose the direction. Lysander would choose.
“You are explaining it just fine,” Georgina said. “Please don’t stop.”
Lysander took a deep breath. “I couldn’t show it at the time, and I still don’t want to admit it now, but I was terrified when you were accosted at the townhouse lake. I needed to be strong for you, so you wouldn’t feel scared.”
“I don’t need you for protection, Lysander. I appreciate that you protect me, but that’s not what I need from you. I want honesty. I want a partnership.”
I want love and romance and a happily ever after.
“I need to explain something,” Lysander said. “When I was terrified, of course, part of that was about you getting hurt, and I was angry that anyone would dare to attack you, but the real terror came from the thought of losing you. I didn’t want to lose you. Idon’twant to lose you.”
Georgina sat up a little straighter. “What are you saying?”
“When I lost my brother, I knew my parents blamed me, and I knew deep down that it wasn’t my fault, but I still blamed myself. From that day onwards, I vowed never to love anyone ever again, so I would never have to endure such monumental pain. When you were attacked, it reminded me of how fragile life truly is. If I’d been only a few minutes later, I might have lost you.”
Georgina focused on breathing through her nose in even breaths. Her heart pounded in her chest; a war drum commanding the butterflies who lay below, and they flapped with thunderous wings in response to the drum’s cry.
“When the fear came to me at the townhouse, it was fiercer than I imagined possible. It was then that I knew I had feelings for you, feelings that I vowed never to have. I didn’t let them in—they found their own way, and now that they are here, they won’t leave. I’m making this sound coarse when it’s really not. Or perhaps it is. I’ve closed myself off for so long that it’s hard to understand.”
Georgina shifted forward and placed a hand on Lysander’s chest, directly over his heart. “Then let me help you to understand them.”
Lysander placed his hand over hers. “Love ended in loss once. I’ve spent my life protecting myself as well as others. I’m scared of loving you, Georgina.”
Does that mean he loves me?
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“I can’t imagine my life without you,” he told her. “These past three days have been the hardest days of my life. I’ve tried to fight it, but I’m not strong enough, or perhaps I don’t want to fight it anymore. I need you to return home, Georgina. I don’t want to live another day without you.”
“I think I’m ready to come home,” she said. “I wanted some time to think about my future, but all I have been able to think about is you, Lysander. I have fallen in love with you, and I’m terrified—terrified that I will love a man who will never return it, but I can’t live in fear; neither of us can. I don’t care what comes next, I only care that I love you, and if you don’t?—”
She didn’t have the chance to finish her statement. Lysander grabbed her head and pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met, and a spark flew through Georgina. The kiss wasn’t just one rooted in passion; it was warm and welcoming and about coming home. She knew she would return to the manor, but kissing him again was truly what it meant to her to return home. It was not the manor where she belonged, but with Lysander.
For an instant in time, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. There were other people in Hyde Park, but not for Georgina. She kept her hand over his heart as it beat quicker during the kiss. Her other hand came up to his cheek, warmth radiating from his skin into hers.
His mouth claimed hers, politeness and chastity thrown to the winds. It was a kiss that spoke of sleepless nights in each other’s arms, a future where they could be happy, and all the feelings and emotions that Lysander could not yet vocalize.
I will teach him how to feel; how to love again.
Her hand gripped the fabric of his shirt above his heart, scrunching it up as his tongue probed her. They pulled each other closer. The world narrowed to the warmth of his lips and the caress of his tongue.
When he finally drew back from her, it felt as if she had undergone a metamorphosis. It had lasted only seconds, but she felt they had both transformed during that brief kiss. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes brighter, her chest heaving, but the most meaningful change was the one that had happened within.
“What happens now?” she asked in a ragged whisper.
“Now, we go home together,” Lysander explained. “We live together happily as man and wife, not because it was arranged that way—that is in the past now—but because we love each other.”
“This is not some cruel joke, is it?” Georgina asked. Her heart was pounding more than it ever had before. “Do you really love me, Lysander?”
“It terrifies me, but I do,” he replied. “I can’t close myself off from the love I have for you; that has proven to be impossible.”
“You love me?” Georgina gushed. “I love you, too. I love you so much, Lysander.”
