Seven
Jessica
I’m in love.
I mean, I was pretty sure I was in love. And it terrified me. Because…what was I even doing?
If it were just Micha, I think I could have handled it with grace and calm. Afterall, people fall in love with people every day.
But it wasn’t just him. In only a few days, I’d fallen in love with my grandmother’s entire life. Majestic Falls. The store. The people. The mountain air. Hell, the lack of headaches I’d had since I’d arrived here had sort of made me fall in love with this place even more.
How could this be happening?
As I sat on Micha’s sofa, listening to him play the most beautiful haunting, romantic piece of music I’d ever heard, I found myself choking back tears. He hadn’t said what the song was, but as I watched the muscles in his back undulate with the passion of his playing on his shiny black baby grand piano, I knew he’d written it for me. This musical declaration mirrored the feelings sparking through me, and showed the ones that had also come to life in him.
I loved him. And he loved me, too.
“It’s not finished yet,” Micha admitted as he spun on the bench to look at me. “I can’t seem to find the ending.”
That made sense. How could he when we didn’t know where we were headed? Where we’d end up? Together or a thousand miles apart?
“It’s beautiful,” I told him around the lump in my throat.
Oh God, what was I going to do? What was I even doing here? My chest ached with the need to be with him. The kisses, the touches we’d shared in the dining pod and back here before he’d played for me, were one thing. Hot. Exhilarating. Passionate. But him moving to the piano to play had given me time to think and brought some sense back to me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sensing my turmoil. He returned to the couch and dropped next to me. His hand immediately found mine, and I studied him in the room’s low, intimate illumination. Christmas lights from both the decked-out tree in the corner and the mantel of his fireplace reflected in his eyes. I could easily get caught up in the holiday ambiance surrounding us.
I couldn’t let that happen. It was too soon. Yes, I wanted him with everything in me, but I couldn’t go there. Not when I still planned to leave soon. Adding more intimacy to this relationship wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I wasn’t the fling sort of girl, and I suspected Micha wasn’t the sort for flings, either. It would already hurt when I left, but falling into bed with him would make it so much worse.
I licked my lips, glancing down at my lap and drawing a shaky breath.
“Yeah,” I said. “Just tired, maybe. It was a long day at the shop, and I need to be there early in the morning again. I think I should… I should probably go.”
His face fell, but he composed himself quickly and nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
Disappointment tinged his tone, but he squeezed my fingers, silently telling me he wouldn’t push me.
I cupped his cheek and gazed into his eyes, needing to be truthful.
“Micha, please don’t think that I don’t want you. That I don’t want to explore this thing that’s started between us. I’m scared. This is all happening so fast, and I can’t make a commitment here,” I said, indicating between us, “when I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t just decide to up and leave behind my life on a whim.”
“It’s not a whim for me,” he murmured, not meeting my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” I whispered.
“No.” He grasped my hand and pulled it to rest on his thigh, our fingers entwined. “Jessica, I understand. I do. But I won’t deny I…care about you very much, and I’m glad that you feel this…thing between us, too. I’ve never been serious about anyone, so I don’t want to mess this up. No one else has ever affected me this way.”
“I care about you, too,” I swore to him. “That’s why I can’t stay tonight. You’re the first man I’ve ever felt this way about, and I think you could be the last, too. I can’t make promises yet. Toyou or to me. This is too important.” I leaned forward and kissed him softly before I stood.
He walked me to the door. At the threshold, he gave me a weak smile then leaned forward to kiss me again, obviously holding himself back this time. I hated it, but also appreciated it. I held myself in check, as well, with a frayed will.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” I offered.
“Whenever you want,” he agreed.
* * * *
My emotions were still in a tangle when I got back to my house—no, to Doris’ house. Unsettled and knowing I needed to think, I walked into the kitchen. Almost as if a spotlight clicked on, I looked around at the gleaming surfaces, cleared counters and the bowlful of fruit. I blinked as if waking up.
