‘It has all the samevitaminsthe Earth dish has,’ Alcide said, carefully drawing out the syllables ofvitamins.
‘There aren’t very many in this,’ I said. I took another mouthful. ‘It’s made with eggs and cheese and butter and all the good things. As long as there’s still carbs, I’m happy.’
‘Carbsmake you happy? What else?’
‘Garlic, olives, stuffed peppers,’ I answered, closing my eyes for a moment. ‘Blue cheese, quince paste, sesame crackers. Chocolate, honeycomb, marshmallow –’
‘Are all those thingsfoods?’ Alcide interrupted.
‘I haven’t finished yet. Smoked salmon, buttery potato mash, eggs Benedict, fresh banana bread –’
‘All right, all right,’ he said with a laugh. ‘Food. I understand. Food makes you happy.’ He paused. ‘Anything thatisn’tfood?’
‘Reading,’ I said shyly.
‘What do you like to read?’
‘On Earth we call themClassics. Books that have been around for hundreds of years.’ I cleared my throat and flushed. ‘I like romances as well. It’s silly, I know, but –’
Alcide frowned. ‘Why is itsilly?’
‘It’s …’ I cast about for how to explain it. ‘There are lots of different genres, but romance is one where the largest readership is women, and many of its authors are, too. Humans are patriarchal for the most part, and often things that interest women are seen as frivolous, less serious, not academic. Romance is one of the most popular genres –themost popular in terms of sales – but often people won’t admit they read it, for fear of seeming frivolous themselves.’
His frown deepened. ‘But is romance not something every being – everyhuman– seeks? Even in Roth culture, we revere the concept of a soul tie, a bond between equals that cannot be broken. Well,’ he went on, a line appearing between his brows for a moment, ‘we used to revere it.’
‘How is a …soul tie… different to a normal relationship? To –’ I tried to remember the word that Vesper had used ‘– toclaiming?’
‘It is … more. Something instinctual, something unbreakable, something that knows, somewhere deep and secret, that you are made for your partner and they for you. Tirians call themmates.’
‘Ah. Tessa made me read those books. Too much growling for my taste.’
Alcide gave a husky, rasping chuckle. ‘Is that why you told me to stop? You’ve been abducted by the wrong species if you don’t like growling. Have youheardCallan?’
I laughed. My shoulders – previously tensed and bowed forward – relaxed and rolled backwards as Alcide turned his attention to his pile of … whatever it was.
‘Why did you ask me to marry you?’ I blurted.
My back straightened as he put down his fork and turned his full attention to me. Having his full focus was unnerving; he looked at me like he was strategising an attack, like he was trying to see through my skin to pinpoint what made my heart beat. ‘Why do you think?’
‘Nope.’ I took a mouthful of water. ‘I asked you first.’
His lips quirked. ‘Fine. When I first asked, it was because I believed – and still believe – that it is the best way to keep you safe.’ His hand came up; he pulled on one of his horns before he caught himself and lowered his fingers.
‘When youfirstasked?’
One long finger tapped on the table. ‘It’s still that. You’re safer now – safe enough that you can have full run of the ship, now that we’ve removed the bloo –cleanedit, but I can’t pretend that the risk is nil.’ His eyes were on my face, pinning me in place. ‘But it’s also because I want you.’
I flushed and shrank back in my chair. ‘You want toprotectme. Because I’m fragile. Breakable.’
He studied me. ‘Yes, I want to protect you.’
My stomach sank.
‘I want to protect you until you have the freedom ofchoice, and then I want to watch what you will do. And while you’re doing it – whateveritis – I want to be the safety net to catch you if you fall. But first, I want to see you soar.’ He lifted one shoulder in an elegant shrug. ‘But I did not obfuscate.I want you.’
I stared at him.I want to see you soar. I’d never thought aboutsoaring; for years, I’d been focused on the practicalities of getting one foot in front of the other. Of simplywalking, getting from one day to the next.
‘You don’t know me,’ I blurted.
