“You should watch a few episodes ofDomestic Do-Over. That’s Travis’s show with Brandon Chase. They got together while filming the first episode and wound up moving into that house together.Verycharming and romantic. But they handled it in a very classy way on the show.” Helena smiled. “I mentioned it just so you’d have a model if you want some help figuring out how to do it.”
“Does classy mean ‘they’re gay but don’t touch on camera’?” Grayson asked. “Because I’ve seen a few episodes of the show. When they argue with each other, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife. Like, it’s very clear they want to bang each other. But theynevertouch, and aside from those scenes, you’d think they were just colleagues, not romantic partners.”
“Just don’t make out on camera. But otherwise it can be whatever you want it to be. Restoration used to be a pretty conservative channel, but lately we’ve been taking it in a twenty-first century direction. Besides, it’s not all that different. Even the heterosexual couples don’t get too handsy on camera.”
“We should talk it over,” said Nolan.
Grayson nodded. “We don’t have to say anything about us on the show. But if you have to miss filming and I have to do something without you, it might be good to explain why.”
Nolan nodded, not sure how much of his life he wanted to make available for public consumption. Talking about Ricky on a talk show back in the olden days was one thing. But now there was a baby involved. “Let’s think about it a little.”
AS THEYdrove out to the Dunlop house a week later, Grayson mulled over the possibility of endings. They were about to film the end of their fourth episode, and whether they did more after they finished the last two would depend on ratings. So there was a possibility these six episodes would be it.
And that would mean he and Nolan would no longer be working together. Between that and Nolan adopting a baby, Grayson wondered if Nolan would need him anymore. Grayson sometimes felt like he was more convenient to Nolan than deeply cared for. He understood that Nolan was not the most demonstrative man when it came to emotions, but he’d gotten even harder to read lately, sometimes distant when they were together. Whether Grayson’s perception was accurate was another question, but he couldn’t help but worry that without the show, Nolan wouldn’t have a reason to see Grayson again. He really hoped that wasn’t the case.
But first they had another house to reveal.
The main work they’d done at Maria Dunlop’s place was to make her house more functional. They’d taken down some walls, given the main floor as open a plan as Maria could afford—one load-bearing wall had to stay because it was cost-prohibitive to remove—and installed an all-new kitchen. They’d also finished the basement to make a gym for Maria’s daughter.
They’d gone a little bonkers with colors in this project, but Maria Dunlop loved mid-century modern design and was open to suggestions. So they’d done light gray cabinets in the kitchen but had found these gorgeous jade green tiles for the backsplash. The living room had an accent wall in a similar green color, and they’d complemented it with jewel tones in the furnishings. Nolan had found a big plush sofa that came in a deep purplish red color that Grayson hadn’t believed would work with the green until they got the sofa in the house. Really, designing this house had been a masterclass in color, because in addition to the jade, Nolan had picked a pear-green throw for the sofa and little pops of yellow and pink, and it was bright and lively and all went together. This design was vintage Nolan Hamlin. No beige allowed.
Maria loved it. As soon as she walked in, she was beside herself. The design wasn’t for everyone, but it was exactly what Maria wanted. She loved the mid-century touches Nolan had made to the kitchen—he’d picked modern but vintage-looking appliances—and she loved the sight lines on the first floor. Her daughter was beyond thrilled with her new basement gym.
And, of course, when Maria cried about how beautiful it was and how thrilled she was that this house she’d been in for many years finally worked for her, Grayson felt that familiar sting in his throat.
“Oh, here we go,” Grayson said, wiping his eyes as they stood in the living room after wrapping up the house tour.
“Oh, Grayson, don’t cry!” said Maria.
“Grayson always cries,” said Nolan, sounding amused.
“I just have a lot of emotions,” said Grayson.
The thing was, though, that these families all deserved functional houses. The Robertses had inherited that old house and needed updates to make it their home. The Cruzes had that travesty of a starter home that they’d fixed to make their forever home. Maria Dunlop now had the perfect home. And, of course, the kids at Rainbow House had a magical common room.
Grayson found himself unable to shake the crying jag on the way home.
“You okay there?” Nolan asked as he drove.
“Just… thinking. Sorry. Ugh, I’m so slobbery and gross.”
Nolan reached over and squeezed Grayson’s hand. “It’s okay.”
“It’s just that I’ve never had arealhome,” Grayson said, hating that he was confessing this much. But he figured he should just go for it with Nolan—be honest, explain how he felt, what he desired. Because Grayson was falling in love with the broken parts of Nolan, so Nolan should see the broken parts of himself.
He took a deep breath. “I think I always knew, even as a child, that I was the odd man out. I just wasn’t like everyone else in my family. I saw this TV movie once about these two babies who had been switched at birth, and then the kids grew up and realized something was wrong. I always wondered if that was me, if my real family was out there somewhere because I was with the wrong one. But then I’d look in the mirror and realize I definitely shared genes with my parents.” He sighed. “I loved New York City when I came here for college and knew I belonged here, but I lived in a dorm, and then I lived on couches or in my car, and now I rent an apartment with two people, but it still feels temporary, somehow. I’ve never owned property or had a space that truly felt like mine. And something about making these homes for people is getting to me, I guess.” He sighed and shook it off. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I get where you’re coming from.”
What Grayson also thought, but did not say, was that Nolan’s loft felt like the closest thing to home that Grayson had ever experienced, although it was mostly just because it felt safe and private in a way his own apartment with his chaotic roommates did not. Living with roommates had lost some of its charm lately—fond as he was of getting questions about light bulbs and whether the milk in the fridge was communal while he was miles from home. His apartment felt more like the place he kept his stuff than a real home. It was one of the reasons he spent so many nights at Nolan’s. But that was too much to put out there right now.
Grayson grunted and leaned into the seat. What he really wanted to ask was whether Nolan would want to keep him around when he entered the next phase of his life. But he was afraid of the answer.
“Are you okay?” Nolan asked.
“Yeah. I’m good. Just kind of lost in my own thoughts.”
“Justin and Peter’s house reveal is next week already. You ready for it?”
