“Ah, okay. What about appliances?”
“Well, that comes down to aesthetics. Antique-looking appliances are on-trend right now, and you can find some really cool-looking mid-century modern, space-age design but paired with modern technology like digital displays. Or you can find appliances that are sleek and modern with, like, copper finishes or black stainless steel. It all depends on what kind of design the client wants and what the budget is. I think the Robertses probably just want something middle of the road. Carol likes to bake cookies with her grandkids, not cook restaurant-quality dinners. They don’t need six burners or high-end design. Stainless for sure, but it doesn’t have to be top-of-the-line.”
“That makes sense.”
“Especially if you have a tight budget, you have to consider what the client needs over what you think will look good.”
“Right.”
“Once we do a few houses for the show, you’ll catch on. I’m sure you’ll have opinions about kitchens soon enough.”
Traffic in the Holland Tunnel on a weekday afternoon wasn’t bad, and Nolan felt a bit of disappointment when he pulled the car onto Ninth Avenue and knew their time together in the little bubble of the car was coming to an end.
“What do we still need to do today?” Grayson asked.
“I want to finalize the materials for the Robertses and then talk a little about the Cruz house, since we’re going to see that one next week.”
“Okay.”
Nolan glanced at Grayson as he stopped the car behind another driver headed into the underground garage below the Restoration Channel’s headquarters.
He swallowed. Making a move would be foolish, right? Nolan wasn’t really ready, they were still finding their footing as costars, and also there was the fact that Grayson had been born when Nolan had been in high school. It would be best to stick to business, no matter how much Nolan wanted it.
GRAYSON FELTa little paranoid. He and Nolan were alone in the studio, with no cameramen around, and yet he worried that a camera was secretly recording every time he looked at Nolan.
But they were finished for the day. Grayson thought about texting one of his friends about grabbing dinner, because the idea of going home alone tonight made him feel sad. Resigning himself to not ever being with Nolan had made him feel sad too, although that had clearly been a pipe dream to start with. What the hell had he been thinking? There was no way on earth that Nolan Hamlin would ever think of Grayson as more than the pain-in-the-ass kid he’d been forced to work with.
“You’re doing a good job, you know,” Nolan said.
“Thanks.” Grayson shot Nolan a smile but then turned back to his phone.
“No, I’m serious. You were quiet today, and I worried it was because you didn’t feel confident in the design, so I wanted to let you know, youshouldfeel confident, because you’re doing a good job.”
Grayson looked up and met Nolan’s gaze. When Nolan said things like that, it made Grayson hope that somethingcouldhappen between them. That a relationship was possible. As Nolan walked closer to Grayson, his heart pounded in anticipation.
“Can I be honest about something?” Nolan asked.
“Of course.”
Nolan looked at the table for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and said, “For most of the past year, I’ve felt that something in me died with Ricky, and that’s probably true. I’ve been numb for a long time. But when Garrett approached me about doing this show, I thought,It’s been a year. It’s time to move on.I didn’t feel ready to face the world again, but how long could I just sit at home not feeling anything? Ricky wouldn’t have wanted me to live that way.”
Grayson tried to guess where Nolan was going with this. Was he not ready to do the show? Did he have regrets? Was he going to back out?
“I’m so sorry,” Grayson said. “I can’t even imagine what you must be going through.”
“Working has made me feel almost normal again. Working on these designs? That’s what I do. I feel functional again. Sometimes I look at my phone and expect to see a text from Ricky, and sometimes late at night, it surprises me that I’ll never see him again. But I think I’ve mostly gotten to the acceptance part of grief. It’s… hard. I still miss him and will never stop. But I want to live again. I’m tired of feeling numb.”
Grayson nodded slowly. He didn’t know what to say. “Why are you—?”
“For the last few days, I have not been able to get you out of my head.”
“What?” His heart pounded harder. Had he misheard? Could this really be it? Did Nolan really want him?
Nolan closed his eyes for a moment. He stood maybe a foot from Grayson now, close enough for Grayson to reach out and touch him. Then he said, “It’s crazy. You’re the first man I’ve been attracted to since Ricky died. The more I get to know you, the more I really like you. But I can think of a hundred reasons why us pursuing anything is a really stupid idea, not the least of which is that we work together and I’m, what, fifteen years older than you? I mean, just for saying that, I’ve given you grounds to sue me. God, I’m such an asshole for even thinking—”
Grayson cut him off with a kiss.
He didn’t even think about it, just leaned forward and planted his lips against Nolan’s. Then he put a hand on Nolan’s shoulder to steady himself and felt Nolan sigh against him. So he rolled with it, leaning forward. Nolan’s arms came around him.
