I hold her trembling body as she climbs off me and settles in next to me, burying her head in my shoulder as she drapes her right arm over me.
“That was incredible.Youare incredible.”
She lifts her head, a sweet yet mischievous smile on her face. “Anything for you, hubby.”
That word sets off something inside me. Not heat. Emotion. That’s how I want her to see me.
I shift so we’re lying face to face, then sweep some hair behind her ear.
“Earlier when you asked if there was something between us, you said our marriage is just legal, but that’s not how I feel.”
“What do you mean?”
“It might not have happened how a typical marriage does, but I want it to be a marriage. I love living with you, spending time with you, doing all the little domestic things with you, and I love taking care of you. I love being your husband, and that’s what I want you to consider me.”
My heart is in my hands—actually, it’s inherhands—as I wait for her answer.
She brings her hand to my cheek, her maple bourbon eyes staring intently into mine.
“You’re my husband,” she breathes. Then she tosses her leg over mine and snuggles in close again.
I lay flat on my back, pulling her tighter to me and playing with her soft hair.
“And I’m your wife,” she whispers, pressing her lips to my neck. “All yours.”
With everything inside me, I hope she always will be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
JADE
I’m happy.
Like Elizabeth Bennet at the end ofPride and Prejudice.
Incandescently happy.
I had my first PT session today, and even though there were some slightly painful moments while testing my range of motion in my fingers, it was so good to be making progress.
My PT told me I can start typing, no more than an hour or two per day to start, but it’s something. As much as I wanted to come home and start typing right away, my hand was tired from PT, and overworking it is the last thing I want to do.
But that’s okay. Justin and I recorded some more, and I’m settling into it now. I’m getting better at slowing my pace while reading and focusing on my diction—admittedly the most challenging piece for me—while still bringing the emotion. We rerecord stuff a lot, but it’s been an incredible learning process that gives me hope for recording the rest of this series.
And it’s something I get to do with my husband.
At Justin’s request, I’m working harder to stop drawing arbitrary lines and treat him as my husband. Yes, we’re still establishing our relationship, but he’s made it clear this is where he wants to be, and I’m the one he wants.
I wish I could say those negative thoughts about my weight didn’t creep in sometimes. I’ve been hesitant to post much about us on social media. Until this last week, it felt too much like lying to my readers, but that’s not the only reason. I haven’t wanted to see the negative comments about someone who looks like Justin being with someone who looks like me.
Plus size men can marry skinny women and it’s all good. There are tons of shows with that dynamic out there. But if a plus size woman is with a hot guy or one who is thinner than her, he must be cheating or lying or desperate.
I know that’s a reflection of the people making those comments and the society they were raised in, but I was raised in that society too, so those ideals hurt when I have them thrown in my face.
Justin hasn’t been shy in posting about us—mostly in his stories. He always tags me, and if there are public comments, I avoid reading them.
And now, I don’t want anything to interfere with us building a relationship. I want this to work. I want this to last.
He says it’s the last love story I’ll ever live, and I’ve never wanted anything to be more true.
