Did Chester claim he was in contact with me? Tense, I hold my breath. The wind continues to roar across the dry earth. A monotonous whoosh. Again and again.
“You’re sorry?” I finally hear River ask in disbelief. His harsh laugh cuts through the desert night. He must be standing just around the corner; I can literally feel his concentrated anger on my skin. “Are you still on it?” An ominous silence hangs in the air for several seconds, and then there are noises as if he was tapping his display with his nails. “Answer me! Answer me, you coward!”
Apparently, the person he’s talking to doesn’t comply. River redials—maybe a different number, maybe the same one.
I should leave. I’ve heard too much, and if he comes around the corner, he’ll catch me.
I turn when I hear him shout angrily, “You miserable coward! I’m sorry too! You have no idea how sorry I am!” He hurls acurse across the barren land, and the old wood creaks under his feet.
Damn! I step back carefully, hoping he doesn’t hear the rustling of the comforter.
“Kansas!”
His voice sinks into the darkness, and a silence surrounds me that is so thick you could cut it into slices.
As if in slow motion, I turn to him. His face is chalky white, his blue eyes as deep as the unfathomable trenches of the sea.
“You’re spying on me,” he says coldly.
My throat constricts.I had a nightmare and wanted to find you...I can’t get it out—not a single word, not when he’s looking at me so sternly.
He comes toward me. “What did you hear?”
I pull the blanket, which drags on the floor like a too-long dress, tighter around my body.
“What did you hear? Tell me, damn it!”
I can’t. Please, I can’t. I back away, step by step. He obviously notices that he’s scaring me because he stops.
I shake my head again and again. I want to know what’s going on. I can’t take it any longer.
“T-Tan...” I stutter, hating it. My throat wants to push the word back, but I fight it. “Tan-Tanner.”
If it’s even possible, his face pales even more.
My heart thuds dully in my chest. “Ev-Everyone says you’re s-sick.” The roof of my mouth numbs, leaving it feeling like I’ve had anesthesia at the dentist.
“Who says that?” He looks at me with angry eyes. “Chester? My dad?” He laughs emotionlessly.
I want to cry because it’s so difficult for me to talk, and I can’t stand this between us anymore.
“Of course they say that. But they don’t know anything about me. They no longer know me. They haven’t seen me in years. They don’t know what I’ve done these last few years.”
With trembling fingers, I fish my phone out of the pocket of my shirt and accidentally drop the blanket.
What are your friends sorry about? What shouldn’t they do?I write.
“That doesn’t concern you. You weren’t supposed to hear that!”
I pick the blanket up. I can’t stand these secrets between us any longer.Are you sick, Riv?I write.
“No!” He juts out his chin grimly. “I’m not sick.”
Your brother says you were in the hospital for some time.
He looks at me challengingly. “Why are you in contact with Ches? I thought you hated him? I thought he was telling lies about you and you went to Old Sheriff because of him? What’s going on?” His voice is too loud; it pushes me against the wooden wall. It demands too much. I tightly press the blanket against me, and he hits one of the wooden beams that run along the porch with both fists. “Fucking shit!”
I stand there completely petrified, hardly daring to breathe.
