“Not a word.” The dark-haired Hunter assesses me slyly with his jackal eyes. His whispered words from English class crawl coldly and eerily across my skin.
“Me neither.” Chester looks at Evan. “Wait outside the door, and don’t let anyone in, okay?”
The fear seeping into me like water becomes an explosive flood that drowns all thoughts. I want to pass Chester, but he’s too close to me. And he’s big.
“Zach!” He nods to the pale boy with the middle part, who picks up my bag, opens it, and throws it into the sink.
“And now, Montgomery? What shall we do with you? You’re all alone here.” The glow in Chester’s watery eyes has become even more intense. And more meaningful.
I stretch my arms forward defensively, but he grabs my wrists, pushes them down, and encircles them with one hand. I struggle in his grip for a few seconds, but it’s useless, as always. I can’t fight him. I can never compete with anyone.
He looks at me strangely before nodding to Zachery, whose fingers are on the faucet. He barely turns the tap, and a few drops drizzle into my bag.
“Why don’t you tell him to stop?”
“Oh, yeah, tell him,” Hunter agrees. He leans casually against the wall, huge and terrifying.
I glance from one to the other in a panic. Hunter’s eyes shine unnaturally, almost feverishly. It’s not about my bag. No, it’s never about the trivial things. It’s always about power. About submission. And, naturally, I remain silent.
I hate myself for that.
Chester sighs theatrically, as if he’s terribly sorry about it all. “Not my fault, Montgomery... Turn it up, Zach!”
I try to break free again, but Chester’s grip is too tight, almost snapping my bones. I watch helplessly as Zachery opens the faucet, and within seconds, my cloth bag is soaked. My pads, my books, my notebook with the beautiful words. My photo of Mom.
“All you had to do was say, ‘Stop’. Or, ‘Leave it!’” The next moment, Chester grabs my jaw and presses me hard against the tiles. “You simply had to saysomething, Silent Girl!” Now, he sounds angry. But only the two of us know why he’s truly soangry. He bends down, and his moist breath brushes my face. “Do you know what Hunter says?”
I stare past him at the brick wall.
Because I can’t sleep, I make music at night. That was written on the wall back when I was hiding from him in his parents’ palace, in his brother’s gigantic, multi-wing suite—a line from Rumi’s love poems.
“Look at me, Montgomery!”
I do as he says because he increases the pressure of his fingers on my cheeks.
“He says all you need is to be fucked properly, and you’ll scream.” My thoughts go nowhere. “Well? Is that correct? Are you eager to be fucked? Will you finally scream then?” He smells sour, like undiluted vinegar, like back then... Disgust churns in my stomach. His face is so close to mine. “Maybe I made a bet with him.” Suddenly, he presses his lips to my mouth and pushes his tongue inside. For a few seconds, I’m paralyzed by shock. I can’t do anything, don’t even feel anything.
“What a slut! She doesn’t defend herself at all. She likes it, Ches!” I hear Hunter scoff, but I’m still in shock.
I tug at my hands with all my might and try to turn my head, but it’s useless. Panic swirls through me. I kick out blindly, hitting something, and I’m suddenly released.
“Bitch!” Chester grabs my hair and yanks it hard, as if he’s trying to scalp me. “Hold her, Hunter!”
Sometimes things happen so quickly and unexpectedly that there’s nothing you can do. Hunter grabs my hands, twists my arms behind my back, and pulls them upward. Red pain flashes before my eyes, but even now, no sound comes from my mouth.
“You want it, Montgomery, admit it!” Chester grabs my jaw a second time while Hunter holds me.
This time, I surrender, as always. From this point on, I wait until they’re finished with me and it’s over. My mind divesinward.Each night, the moon...Despite my practice fading out, I can’t do it this time.The lover who counts...My fear of what else they might do is too great. The words spin wildly through my mind as I feel something disgusting and slimy in my mouth, scratchy stubble on my skin, and something acidic choking me. Fingers under my shirt. I’m stunned by my helplessness. Everything flickers and then goes black for a moment or two.
“This is your fault, Montgomery. You could have said no. You can speak, so you can say no, can’t you?” Chester breathes raggedly into my mouth as his hand slips under my bra, the white one with the childish pink hearts. His face hovers in front of mine, so close—so close—that I can’t breathe because of the fear. He squeezes my breast with wet, hot fingers. “And now, Montgomery, what now? Don’t you want to stop me?” His eyes blaze, and I want to die. I don’t think about anything else anymore. As if from another dimension, I hear suggestive smacking and whispers—things Chester wants to do to me. Everything blurs. I don’t even remember if Chester stuck his tongue down my throat again when I hear voices from outside.
Shortly afterward, there’s a knock. “Get ready, boys!” Evan says outside the door.
I don’t know what’s going on, but it saves me. Hunter lets go of me, and Chester backs away, pointedly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Drop the innocent act; I’m not buying it! We all know you need it. Besides, you should be grateful to us for teaching you something. You kiss like a dead fish, Montgomery!”
“Guess she’ll need a few more lessons!” Hunter laughs.
I want to spit on them, but my mouth is as dry as the desert from panic. Shame and fear burn in my chest. For a few seconds, they all stand there, staring at me. What if Evan blocks whoever wants to get in here? What if it’s ninth graders who can be intimidated?
