Brodie shrugs. “I changed my mind. He is my father, and it is my wedding day.” Even though his tone is sharp, his grin when he says ‘wedding day’ is almost goofy.
“This can’t be happening,” I say. “Because if Levi had found my father and knew he might be coming to this wedding, he would have told me.”
“I wanted—” Levi starts.
As usual, Brodie seems oblivious to the emotional layer here. “I know you’re angry at Dad for leaving, Gent. I’m mad too. But he’s changed. He’s re-married, and he’s got a good job, and he can be a help to you and the kids. He wants to be in our lives again.”
I stare at him, feeling both betrayed and terrified. What if Brodie’s right? I was an adult and in college when Dad walked out on Mom and our sisters, but it still hurt me so much when he left. He dropped out of my life as much as he did theirs.
When Mom started talking badly about him after he left, I was inclined to believe her, because it meant he hadn’t left because he didn’t love me anymore. He left because he wasn’t the great guy I’d once thought he was. It felt better to believe that.
But my own memories match my mother’s stories about my father. Too many of them prove how selfish he can be. “I don’twant anything to do with him. He doesn’t know how to help anyone but himself, and I don’t care how much you think he’s changed, he’s not suddenly become a selfless person.”
Brodie puts his hands on my shoulders, opening his mouth like he’s going to say something, but the photographer calls him over for pictures. He pulls me into a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay. Just let him help.”
He hurries over for pictures, and I’m stuck. I want to get the hell out of here, but I’m not going to ruin Brodie and Daphne’s photos by running away.
“Gentry,” Levi says. “I wanted to tell you, but Brodie thought you’d get your hopes up and be disappointed if your father didn’t show.”
I glare at him. Has he heard anything I’ve said to him? “I told you how I feel about my father. Or are you like Brodie, and you think I’m just overreacting or remembering the man incorrectly?” Even as I say the words, doubt creeps in. My father was never cruel to me. He never beat me, or even yelled at me.
Could he have changed?
Would it be a mistake to keep him away from my sisters?
Levi steps into my space and lowers his voice. “I told Brodie not to invite him to the wedding. I wanted more time to look into him.”
I want to wake up and realize this is all a bad dream so I can lean into him and let him tell me everything’s fine. But it’s not fine. And he’s not the person I thought he was. “You should have told me, Levi. How can I ever trust you again after you kept something this huge from me?”
He takes a step toward me, hands out. “You can trust me. I was going to tell you—”
I hold up a hand. “Just stop. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I need to get through this reception and figure out what to do about my father.”
“I can help you, Gentry.”
I stare at this man I thought was on my side, this man I actually thought I could love, and I’m grateful that I’ve realized who he actually is before I gave him my whole heart. “I don’t want your help, Levi. I want you to stay away from me.”
His expression hardens. “So that’s it? I make one mistake and I’m out? Why don’t you just admit the truth, Gentry? You can’t handle anyone who wants to help you, because then you’d have to stop being the martyr, right? You’d have to think about your own life, and you don’t want to do that, because it’s easier to hide.”
My heart aches, and I realize, too late, that it was more involved than I’d hoped. “You don’t know me. If you did, you never would have kept this secret from me. So maybe you ought to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you had to be the hero, riding in with my father to save the day, instead of asking me what I wanted and being truly on my side?”
He takes another step back, and it’s like a chasm opens between us. “This is what you always wanted, isn’t it?” he asks. “I was always going to be the villain in your story.”
“Nope. You made that choice all on your own.”
I stomp over to the crowd watching the photographer taking pictures of Brodie and Daphne and wait to be called up for wedding party and family photos. It takes every bit of energy I possess to hold the tears at bay.
***
As soon as the pictures are done, I hurry off to the reception and find Sophie and Emily laughing with their new cousins in a corner of the large ballroom. They’re so much older than the last time our father saw them, I doubt he’ll recognize them.
“Emily, Sophie,” I say. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
They must see something on my face, because they don’t roll their eyes or try to put me off until they’ve finished theirconversation. Together, they come over and stand in front of me, so pretty in their dresses, with their hair styled, and their faces made up. They look so grown up, and my heart spasms at the thought.
As much stress as I’m under, I love these kids with my whole fucking heart.
I have no idea how they’re going to react, so I lead them out of the ballroom and into a small parlor where it’s quieter. There’s no easy way to break the news, so I don’t even try. “Dad’s here. He’s probably going to want—”
