He leaves the offer hanging, and I nod, feeling a strange mix of relief and frustration.It’s a relief that he’s just friends with Cameron, but I can’t deny how messed up this all feels.
Blaze doesn’t even know Cameron is gay, and Blaze is straight.So there can’t be anything going on between them…right?But I can’t shake this feeling of doubt.
I give Blaze a nod.“Alright, I’ve got class in less than an hour.I should head home.”
Blaze raises an eyebrow, smirking.“It’s Saturday, man.”
I roll my eyes.“Yeah, well…projects and shit.Med school stuff.Can’t let it pile up.”
Blaze just smiles, his eyes still full of questions.“Alright, man.But remember, you don’t have to figure this all out alone.”
I give him a nod before heading to the parking lot.Once I’m in my car, my hands grip the steering wheel too tightly.I close my eyes, trying to get a grip.
What the fuck is that?
This jealousy, this confusion—I don’t know where it’s all coming from.I don’t even know how to explain it to myself, let alone someone else.But one thing is clear: Cameron has a hold on me, and I’m not sure I want to let go.
It’s mid-afternoon, and I’m finally done with my Saturday class.Not that I was supposed to have one, but my chemistry professor thought it’d be a great idea to drag us in today.Real nice.
A few hours ago, my mom called, asking me to stop by.It’s been more than three months since I last saw her, and I can’t remember the last time I willingly went home.With a sigh, I get into my car and start the engine, glancing out the window.That’s when I spot Cameron and Landon heading toward Landon’s car.
They’re laughing, and Cameron’s face lit up with a smile—too much of a smile.They stop by the car, and Cameron’s watching Landon in a way that almost makes them look like…more than friends.And yeah, that thought does not sit well with me.
I try to ignore it, but my gaze lingers on Cameron.His blonde hair is pulled back in a bun, catching the sunlight and giving him this golden glow.He looks…beautiful, and that thought just makes me more frustrated.His glasses sit perfectly on his nose, half-hiding those hazel eyes, but not enough to keep me from remembering how he looked at me last night, how his lips felt on mine.God, I want to kiss him again.And again, without having to feel shitty about it.
Landon rounds his car to get into the driver’s seat.Cameron opens the passenger door but pauses, turning around.Our eyes meet through the windshield, and a surge of guilt hits me hard.After that kiss last night, I’ve been avoiding him, refusing to talk.I keep asking myself why him?Why did I kiss him?Why did I even enjoy it so much?But no matter how many times I go over it, I still don’t have an answer.
I look away, forcing myself to shake it off and drive out of the parking lot, but his smile and those golden locks keep flashing in my mind.
It’s messed up.I should be able to shake this off, to brush him out of my mind.But I can’t.I look away quickly and drive out of the lot, but his smile, his laugh—it’s all still there, lingering in my mind like a brand I can’t erase.I feel like I’m going insane.
My phone rings, snapping me back to reality.I dig it out, glancing at the screen.It’s Stacey.How do I even still have her number?I decline the call, tossing the phone onto the passenger seat.A notification lights up, and I pick it up out of habit, glancing briefly at the road before opening the message.It’s from a girl I barely remember—she was with me the other night when Cameron walked in on us.Attached is a photo that leaves nothing to the imagination, her tits out and a red lacy underwear, with the caption: “Missing this?”
I roll my eyes, delete the message, and block her number.I don’t even remember her name, though I think it was something like Belle.Lately, it feels like no girl is enough.It’s Cameron who keeps creeping into my thoughts, messing with my head.And that’s the part that terrifies me the most.
I shake it off, focusing back on the road.Soon, the familiar driveway of the family manor comes into view.The place is just as grand and elegant as ever, but it feels hollow and lifeless.I imagine my mom throwing another of her tantrums at anyone who gets in her way.I barely even recognize this place as my home anymore.
I park in the garage and head inside, greeted by the rows of family photos on the walls.Photos from a different time, when there was still laughter, when Kendra was still with us.I’m honestly surprised they didn’t take down her pictures.My mom used to say they were a painful reminder.
“My baby,” I hear her call from the kitchen, her voice warm and bright.
I walk over, and she surprises me by wrapping her arms around me tightly and I put my arms around her small frame, pulling her closer.It feels…good.Familiar.She pulls back with a big smile, looking surprisingly healthy, sober even.She gestures for me to sit on the kitchen barstool, and I watch as she goes back to cooking.
“Why are you cooking?Where are the maids?”I ask, still a little thrown by the sight of her actually preparing food.
She laughs softly.“I’m expecting my baby, so I thought I’d make your favorite.”
I raise an eyebrow, a hint of a smile tugging at my lips.“You remembered?”
“Of course.”She smiles, and for a moment, I see a glimpse of the mom I remember.
It’s quiet between us, and I can’t stop staring at her, still trying to wrap my head around this new side of her.
“If you came home more often, you’d know I’ve been sober for nearly four months now,” she says, a hint of sadness in her tone.
I look away, feeling a pang of guilt.“Sorry.I’ve been busy with school and soccer.”
She nods, her smile brightening again.“So, how’s my future doctor doing?”
