“I don’t know.” His heavy steps were a cadence to his indecision as he paced the room. “On one hand, I’d love to get my family the fuck out of here and go into hiding. On the other, a rebellion could be a death sentence.”
“Well,” I said, standing. “You don’t have to decide today, but you must keep this between us. If you want to join, find a way to let me know, and the rebellion can have you and your family out of the castle and in hiding before the king even knows you’ve left.”
“What about you? You’ve joined them but remained in the castle?”
I shrugged. “Spy, I guess.”
He was shocked, rubbing his aged hands down his face in disbelief. “And Gaea?”
“She doesn’t know. Not yet, at least. I won’t keep her in the dark much longer. The rebellion could use her too.”
“Where are they? The rebellion.”
“That’s information on a need-to-know basis. You decide to join, I’ll introduce you to the leader, and he can determine for himself what to tell you.”
“Holy fuck,” he said again.
“Do you have any intentions of sharing this information, Oravan?” I asked him.
“No,” he answered.
“Good.” I handed him the antidote and walked out. I wasn’t sure if that had gone well or not, but I’d at least covered my own ass. For now, anyway.
Chapter 7
KING TOLERO
“Into lightness and darkness, into shadows and mist, may you rest for eternity. Over the mountains and beneath the sea, let your spirit find peace. May nature keep your soul, the wind hold your memories, the river bless your spirit, and the fire carry you away.”
I took four reluctant steps through the deep sands on the crowded beach toward the pyre and laid the torch within. As the flames grew higher and the bard sang to the heavens, I gave the signal, and the pyre was pushed into the water. I held my breath as the widow beside me crumpled to the ground. I knelt and helped to lift her. “You may cry, but never fall.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” she wept.
I put my arm around her trembling shoulder and stood solemnly beside her as the pyre drifted away. One by one, the fae surrounding us lifted a hand to her. Until there was no room, and then those in the back lifted a hand to the fae in front of them and so on until we were all connected by hands and fingertips, watching Favic leave us.
“Please, come back to the palace grounds. We will have the dancers perform and drinks will be provided. Let us turn this tragedy into a reason to celebrate the soul of a fae we knew well and loved.”
As I sat amongst the fae outside, listening to the celebrations, I thought I might drink heavily that night. It left a bitter taste in my mouth though, so instead, I let the fire dancers entrance me while the drums thundered through the night and my people danced the traditional Jabari.
The fae of my kingdom were proud and ritualistic. In moments like these, life was breathed into me again. I felt our pride and our purpose. I watched the warriors dance, and my soul moved within me. A tiny bit of that tiger I’d locked away shifted. I’d almost forgotten he existed, as my people were surely beginning to forget. Would they remember me as the fierce king I once was, or would I be remembered as the shell of a male I had become? I handed my cup to Inok and took myself to bed. Even I didn’t want to be around myself anymore.
I spent the next few days moping until, finally, I pulled myself up and out of bed with conviction. I would not live this day as I had the others before it. I dressed and went to the stables. The powerful fae horses stamped and grew agitated as I walked through. Their massive, fearsome muscles shuddered, and their restless hooves kicked up pillows of sand around them, creating flashes of memories through my mind. Memories of my happy childhood. Memories of stolen kisses and fervent wishes of a boy so incredibly young and naive.
“Yes, it has been a while, boys.”
“Who in the—” The stable master noticed me and balked. “By the mother, Your Grace. I’m so sorry, I didn’t see it was you. Can I help you?” He fell to his knees.
“No, no, Rah. I’m sorry to cause a disturbance. It’s just ... I require something of you.”
“Anything,” he answered.
“Is there something I can do here to help? Any job that needs to be done that I could assist with?”
He recoiled, curling his lip. “No, of course not.”
“I won’t be in the way. I just need something to change my mindset a bit. I could muck the stalls?”
“No, Your Grace. You couldn’t.”
