She did, and I tried to stay focused while studying the lovely outline of her freckled face. The mating bond thrummed within me as I studied her. She was captivating. She always had been. I closed my eyes and accidentally sent a wave of desire down the bond. Her eyes flew open, and she scooted away from me on the bed.
“I’m sorry.” I soared to my feet. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
She looked at me and used the bond to send a wave of anger.
“Is this how you want to tell me how you’re feeling?” I asked.
She was silent.
“I am a male who has just discovered his mate. Every ounce of me wants to claim you as mine. I’m doing everything I can to hold myself back,” I said firmly. “I am trying to resist it.”
She looked away.
I stood and left the room. She wouldn’t understand. She was a high fae female in all ways. I stopped, realizing something that should have occurred to me so much earlier than this moment. She had apologized.I’d spent my entire life living directly on the divide between lesser and high fae. The fact that neither of them would ever accept me had monopolized my thoughts for so long. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t even considered that her being a high fae and me being lesser might have felt like she was trapped with someone below her. Maybe that was why she had apologized. Maybe she had already decided she would not be able to accept the bond between us. Maybe I was not worthy of her.
I faced the bedroom door from the hall. Perhaps if I begged her, pleaded with her to give me a chance, to let me love her, she would try. But no. No one should ever have to beg for fated love. She hadn’t been my choice, and I hadn’t been hers. Fate never cared for choice, but I’d never heard of a lesser fae bonded to a high fae.
I walked down to the meeting room and let myself in. It was empty. I sat alone at the desk and ran my hands through my hair. Could nothing be easy?
“Temir?” I heard her call from the door.
I hadn’t shielded my emotions from her. Everything I’d felt had been sent right down that bond between us. Still, I did not want to see her. I did not want to hear the rejection. I had enough to worry about. I still planned to save her mother, even if I had to do it alone.
I heard her sigh and walk back down the hallway. I’d have to protect myself from her. I would fall hard and fast, and I had no reason to believe she would do anything but watch me crash.
I waited alone in that room until Rook let himself in. “There you are,” he said.
“I need to get back to the castle.”
“No. I can’t allow that right now.”
“I’m not asking for permission. I’ve done every single thing you’ve asked of me for the rebellion, no matter what it cost me. I’ve shown you what I am able to bring to the table. I took the lead when you cowered at the king’s attack. Now is the time you repay me, Rook. Now is the time you give me something I need.”
He growled but submitted. “How many rebels, Temir?”
“Ten.”
“Five.”
“Six and horses to get us there and back sooner.”
“Stay here,” he said, rising from the table. “But if anyone asks, this was my decision and not your own demand. Do you understand?”
I nodded.
He returned with five males in tow. “What’s the plan?”
I jerked my head back. “You will join us?”
“Yes, but you will lead, Temir.”
“I have an idea. I thought we should wait for Roe to get back to Bryer’s Keep, but I think it works in his favor if he is not missing when all hell breaks loose. He and Iva have no plans to leave the castle, so if we storm in and surprise everyone, they won’t be associated with us.”
“We aren’t outfitted to storm the castle,” Rook said.
“We won’t be. The tunnel entrance that runs under the castle is still open.”
“The dungeons are not connected to the tunnels.”