My entire world crashed in around me. The breath left my lungs as everything around me faded away. A loud humming filled my ears. “No,” I whispered.
“Ara, It’s okay. It’s only something that—”
“No, Fenlas. It’s not okay. You lied. And not only that, it’s just another thing in the long list of things that I get no choice in. My life is not my own. Not now and I guess not ever. But you knew. Wren knew.”
He shook his head and moved to me, but I backed away again.
“Everyone probably knew, except me. Because I’m the idiot. I wanted to trust you. I even brought up not wanting a mate. You could have told me right then. You could have told me a thousand times. You’re a liar, Fenlas. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be your mate. I reject the mating bond.” I stepped over the edge of the boat, sealing off his own despair with my ire.
Fen fell to his knees, and I felt a deep pit rip into my soul. “No!” he screamed as I grabbed the only oar and pushed away from the bank.
“Keep your secrets, Prince. Apparently, you didn’t care about me enough to share them.” I turned away and rode the boat across the deadly waters alone.
Chapter 42
TEMIR
Pacing and pulling on the mating bond were the only two options I had as I remained hidden in that room in the castle. I’d listened outside the door for a while, only to realize the guard rotation had been completed, and now, even if I could leave this room, they would see me. My horns may have been gone, but I was still a tall, recognizable male lurking in an empty room in the castle.
I had no idea where Roe had gone. But I couldn’t believe he would have abandoned me if he had a choice. Which made me worried for him. I’d given Nadra Iva’s name, so I worried for her too.
I wished I knew her, or if I could trust her. I tried to tug on the bond. I tried heaving on it. I tried sending magic down it. I tried everything I could think of, but the only thing I got in return after the rage had settled was absolute silence.
“Yes, I’m sure the king won’t mind at all dear,” I heard a muffled female voice call from the hall. “Right this way.”
I realized the doorknob was turning and leaped behind the heavy curtains just in time as someone entered the space. My heart raced as whoever came in shut the door behind them. For moments, the room was still. Silent. Just when I thought I’d imagined it all, I heard her.
“Hello?” Nadra whispered.
I ripped the curtains back and crossed the room in three strides. “Have you betrayed me?” I barked.
She flinched, shook her head, and stepped away from me, trembling.
I felt the fear move down our bond as if it were my own. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be afraid.” I was an animal. I hadn’t meant to scare her.
“I nearly did tell him, but he locked up my mother and deserves nothing.” She took another step back. “I’m sorry.” I looked at her shrunken form and doubted she had eaten anything even though I had begged her to. “Can you help me?” she asked. “I know what the king is planning. I will tell you.”
I stepped toward her and lifted her chin. I looked into the depth and despair of her hallowed eyes and realized it must have taken a great internal strength not to give in to the king when he had tortured her so badly.
“Will you come with me? To safety? I can protect you.”
She shook her head again and crumpled to the floor, burying her head in her hands and sobbed. That overwhelming sorrow bled into me, and I felt her all-consuming sadness as my own. She didn’t want to be here. She barely wanted life at all. I felt the need to rip something to shreds, to try to breathe life into her in anyway I could, to light a fire within her and beg her not to leave me. I tried to calm myself as I sat before her on the floor.
“I cannot leave her. You don’t understand. She is all I have.”
“If you will let me take you from this place, I promise I will come back for your mother.”
“Can’t you see that I am broken? A promise means nothing to me anymore.”
“I see you, Nadra. I’ve been broken before. I know what it feels like to know if you died tomorrow not a single soul would know or care. That you wouldn’t care. Being broken is like a storm. It’s all consuming while it lasts, but it’s never permanent. Even the clouds run out of rain. Please let me help you.” I reached out to take her hand.
She pulled away. “Please don’t touch me.”
Fiery rage blossomed like a struck match. I would kill him. If it took my own death to see it through, I would do it. “Nadra, we cannot stay here. It isn’t safe. Do you know of servants named Iva or Roe? We need them to help us get out of here.”
“Iva waits outside the door. She has been with me since you left me in the hallway.”
I stood and opened the door enough to see a familiar short female standing there, worrying her hands as she watched the guards.
