“If you would just enchant her,” Eadas said back.
The king whipped around so fast I thought he might drop the flower in his hands. “Do not tell me how to rule my kingdom. She will be loyal to me because she chooses it. I will not spend my days puppeteering my court. Do I not provide for you? Do I not give you any fucking thing you need? She should be grateful I’m even entertaining her gods-damned wretched daughter. She wanted a husband for her. Well she got a king.”
Eadas flinched, and a fire roared within me at his words. My heart slammed in my chest. I needed out of this room as fast as possible, or I would give everything away. He thought everyone worshipped him. He thought he was due a lover just because he ordered it. He thought every single fae in this whole world should bow down to him, but I would not. I could not sit back and watch much longer. He was the epitome of everything sick and twisted in the land of fae. I was done. Fucking done.
Gaea moved slightly and took my hand. “Calm,” she whispered. “Are we dismissed?” she asked in her usual tone, though I could tell she was nervous.
“For now,” the king said without turning back to us.
He had Eadas in his sights, and I’d gladly leave them to it. Gaea spirited us to my rooms, and I heaved. I doubled over trying to push the anger and sadness from my body. I’d never felt such rage.
“Temir?” Gaea placed a hand on my back.
“Leave me,” I snapped, unable to control the fury.
Without another word, she was gone. I stomped into my study, slammed my hands on my desk, and shoved every damn thing to the floor. I pulled my packed bag up, unloaded all of the clothes and shoved anything I thought would be helpful into it. Books, journals, as many elixirs and leo flowers as I could. And then I sat, waiting until the sharp anger left me, and deep sadness finally faded to utter exhaustion. I watched the sunrise from the window and laid my head on the desk.
I dreamed I could be as free as the southerners. I wished I could be as free as the lesser fae in the northern kingdom, even. I wished to be anyone but myself. I felt a soft breeze and woke, expecting to see Gaea standing before me. Instead, a folded piece of paper sat on my desk.
Temir,
I wished on every star for you and my heart is shattered to admit I am afraid for you. I’m afraid for me too. I’ve lived in that fear my whole life at this castle. That fear has controlled me for so very long. There were times when I didn’t recognize it for what it was, but now I see so much more clearly. You know what the future holds for you, yet you press on.
If only the rest of the world had your heart and compassion to see beyond their own fear. I love you but I’m not strong enough to sit by and watch your decisions ruin you. I’m also not strong enough to watch you fade away from me. I felt it in our final kiss. I know our love will never be what we both dreamed and I will never blame you for that.
It seems that destiny has something else in store. I thought I’d love you and you would love me and I hoped that would be enough. But it wasn’t.
Something on the wind calls to me. Just as something in your soul calls to you. I hope one day you find peace. Save her.
~G
All sound faded. The blood drained from my face. My breath halted. “No. Shit. No. Gaea.” I crumpled the paper, hoping she was in spirit form, watching. But she wasn’t. She had left. My final words to her had been to leave me, and she did. She finally found the courage to leave the king, and I knew, with every fiber of my being, that I had pushed her over that dangerous edge.
I wasn’t sure what to do. Save her, she had told me. I imagined she was talking about Nadra. The high fae female I had no business even touching, though the thought of her had begun to consume me. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t even save myself.
I bathed, washing the days of travel, battle, and stress from me. I had no idea where Gaea had gone, but I’d have to let that go for now. I dressed, and just as I was about to hunt down Roe, my door slammed open and three guards filed in.
“The king requests your presence. Now.”
“Of course he does.” I followed the guards out of my rooms and back to the throne room. He had probably discovered the truth of the flower. At least Gaea would be safe.
The throne room was filled with fidgeting people. Like a great cathedral for the ancient gods, the rows of fae stared ahead to the dais, as if Autus was one. A beam of warm light poured through a window above, landing perfectly on the angry king as he slumped in his throne, thrumming his fingers upon the arm. The entire castle’s population must have been called in.
There were no introductions; he didn’t use flowery words or build anything up. He simply waited for me to stand before him, rose from his throne and descended the stairs until he was inches from me. “Where is she?”
“Who?”
He slammed his hand across my face. “Do not play games with me, Temir. Where is she?” I stared at him. “Where is Gaea?” his melodic voice demanded.
“I do not know, my king.”
“I’ve got a missing stable boy, a dead stable master, a missing blacksmith, a fucking rebellion on my back, the captain of my guard was mysteriously killed, and now I’m missing another magic wielder. What the fuck is happening in my court? Morwena is doing great, powerful things, and I can’t even keep a fucking stable boy!” I looked at him blankly as he ranted. “You will not move,” his magic called.
He smashed his fist into my gut. It took everything in me not to swing back. Not to move. I could not betray the magic in the ring I wore. I had to stand there and take it. He swung again, striking my face, but I remained still. I could feel the blood seep from my nose.
“You will not use your power,” he sang.
Again, he swung. I couldn’t feel it anymore. I was numb. The absolute hatred had built a shield around me. A thousand eyes watched, unwavering as he struck. I held my chin higher and waited. Blow after blow. I could no longer see out of my swollen eyes, could not breathe through my broken nose. Still, I stood. If I ever found Gaea, I’d never tell her of this moment. Of the beating I’d taken for her.
