“But how could you feel safe if I scared you?”
“You scared me like racing scared me when I first started. You scared me because I’d never felt this way before, but I’m not that scared anymore.” He kisses me, leaving his lips on mine as he says, “It feels like I’ve been reserving my heart for you, Nevaeh, like it was only ever yours to take so I never let anyone close enough to it.”
He takes a breath for courage.
“Je suis amoureux de toi.”
There’s no translation needed. Nothing at all as the tears finally stream down my face. Adrian Romana, the man who doesn’t fall in love, just told me he loves me for the first time.
“Ich liebe dich,” he goes on, butchering the German language perfectly.
He kisses me once more, making me smile against his mouth, but I have to break the kiss to cover my mouth to hold the sob at bay.
“I love you, Nevaeh.”
“I love you endlessly,mein Mond,” I reply, flinging my arms around his neck and deepening our kiss.
He holds me close for a moment, nothing but the sound of his and my racing heart between us.
“Whatever it is you want to do, I’ll stick by your side. If you want to stay in F1 as a reporter, we’ll stay a secret. If you choose tennis, we’ll make our schedules work. Either way, we’ll figure it out. Together. I promise.”
And I believe him.
It just doesn’t make my choice any clearer.
Chapter 53
Adrian
Todayisthelastrace before the summer break.
I’m in a good fucking mood.
Before you ask,yes, it’s because I told Nevaeh I love her last night and she said it back to me. Obviously, that’s the reason for my good mood. How could it not be? I’ve never been in love before, but it feels incredible like nothing can touch me as long as Nevaeh is by my side. It’s a heady feeling, dangerous, but that’s what Formula One is all about, too, and I crave that feeling. I just never thought I’d feel it in my relationship.
“Adrian Romana.” Well, that voice certainly has the ability to kill my happy mood.
“What do you want, rookie?” I ask, straightening out my back to tower over him. Daniel gives me a disapproving look, but I’m not the one who wants to fight.
Lincoln is.
“I’ve thought about what you said last time, and you’re right. The championship is far from decided, but I’m going to win. I’m going to take this from you the way you took Nevaeh from me.”
He takes a step toward me, puffing out his chest.
I’m as unimpressed by his announcement as he knew I’d be, which is why he adds, “You’re not good enough for the trophy. Your grandfather and father were champions in their time, I used to watch them when I grew up, and you’re nothing like them. You don’t have what it takes to win. It’s why Gabriel won last season. It’s why I’ll win this season. They’d be so disappointed to know you don’t have what it takes.”
Lincoln steps away again, smiling viciously at me before delivering the killing blow.
“Luckily, they’re too dead to watch you fuck up your second chance,” he says, making my hands curl into fists at my sides.
All of my grief bubbles up to the top, all of my self-doubts ripping my confidence to shreds. Maybe if I hadn’t felt this way before, his words wouldn’t rattle me, but they do. They fuck with my carefully crafted mindset until I’m so off-balance, I can’t even breathe anymore.
I’m not good enough.
My family would be disappointed in me.
They’re all too dead to watch me fail or succeed, too dead to be there for me either way.
