CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE
leonard
Ishouldn’t have done this. I know I shouldn’t have, but after what happened at Dino’s gallery, I won’t take any more risks. The last thing I ever want to see again is the sadness on Chiara’s face after all her hard work ended in humiliation and rejection. It won’t happen again. I won’t fucking allow it, even if she hates me after what I’ve done. There is the option of lying to her, but I have never been a bullshitter, and I won’t start now, especially not with the most important person in my life.
A blindfold rests over Starling’s beautiful green eyes as I lead her through the door of her art gallery. I’ve been thinking about buying this place for months, but I wanted this to be hers without my money as an influence. Unfortunately, people are fucking jerks, and as talented as Chiara is, as well thought through as her vision is, they keep rejecting her. It doesn’t matter that she has a degree in art. It doesn’t matter that she also took courses in business management. It doesn’t matter how stubborn she is and that she would have the most successful immersive art gallery in the world. To everyone else, she’s a risk. To me, she is a certainty.
“We should keep this blindfold for sex stuff,” she blurts out as I guide her into the middle of the gallery, well, part of it. This is the entrance area and there are five separate doors along the walls leading to rooms where she will be able to have different shows and exhibits.
“We’re definitely keeping it for sex stuff, sweetheart,” I reply, so she starts grinning like the insatiable woman she is. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been this sore in my entire life, and I’m a Formula One racer, so that’s saying a lot.
“Where the hell are you taking me?” she asks, her Italian accent somehow thicker today than usual. I smile at the way the words feel in my ears.
“I can’t believe how patient you are today. This is only the third time you’ve asked,” I tease, and she lets out a happy laugh. God, I hope she won’t hate me for what I’ve done. I’m already preparing for her to be angry, but I can’t stand the thought of her hating me. I let out a shaky breath without meaning to.
“Are you nervous,amore?” she asks, causing my heart to flip at her new pet name for me.
“Please. Please don’t hate me for this, okay?” I say and before she has a chance to respond, I pull the blindfold off and watch as she blinks a few times to adjust to the light. Her beautiful green eyes focus on me first, and I press one brief kiss to her lips in case she’ll never want to speak to me again.
“Leonard, I don’t understand. What’s going on?” she asks, and I step away, letting her take in her surroundings. It’s a plain gallery with white walls, ready to be painted in her image. It isn’t anything special, but that’s because she hasn’t made it hers yet.
“Okay, here it is. A business proposal,” I start, focusing on the logical and rational aspects of it to keep my heart from exploding. “I bought this art gallery, but it’s not mine. It’s yours. Your name is on the contract, so no matter what happens between us, this will always be yours.” She attempts to talk, but I keep going. “This is me investing in your future, potential, and dream. I know you didn’t want it to be me. I know you wanted to find someone else, but I can’t stand the sight of you upset anymore when you are the person who least deserves to be in the world. We can make this a partnership if you’d like to take a bit of pressure off you, but you can also go solo on this. It’s completely up to you, but what isn’t is that this is your time now. Show the world what you can do, sweetheart. I’ll be here to cheer you on from the sidelines for whatever you need.” My rant finally ends, and I’m breathless. Actually fucking breathless. I can’t remember the last time speaking exhausted me this much. Maybe when I was sick a few years ago.
“You bought me an art gallery?” she asks, her hands trembling as she lifts them to tug a runaway strand behind her ear. Noticing, she shoves them into her pockets and straightens out her back to look tougher.
“Yes. I’m investing,” I repeat because I hope it’ll make this seem less intense for her.
“I felt bad for spending your money on my clothes when you gave me your credit card. Do you honestly think I could accept anart gallery, even if I wanted to?” she says, and I place my arms behind my back.
“You can. I want you to. We’ll draw up a contract, and you’ll be the one to call all the shots. No strings attached.” Oh God, her face turns redder than I’ve ever seen it before.
“This isn’t right, and you know it. You’re my employer, roommate, boyfriend, and friend without you becoming my investor and business partner as well. Don’t you think this complicates everything even more?” Her voice is surprisingly calm considering how angry she looks.
“If it makes you happy, I don’t care how fucking complicated it gets. We will figure it out, I promise. And if it makes you feel any better, I can fire you. You can replace the titles of boyfriend and friend with ‘everything’,” I suggest with a smile, but she isn’t amused. Not a single bit. Sweat drips down my back in response.
“You shouldn’t have made this huge decision without me, Leonard. If we’re going to be partners in anything, business or life, you can’t go and make decisions like this without me. It’s not right,” she says, causing a little bit of frustration to seep through me.
“You wanted this, you’ve been working toward it for years, Chiara, what is there left to discuss?” I ask. Chiara starts walking around the room, taking in her surroundings.
“What more is there to discuss? Leonard, you don’t go spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on my dream without telling me! What is so hard to understand about that?” she calls out, and I wish I wouldn’t feel angry, but there is no stopping it now that I’m terrified of losing her.
“This is what you wanted. I don’t understand why you’re upset. You would have accepted this investment from anyone but me. How is that fucking fair when all I want is to see you happy?” I challenge, and she spins around, throwing her arms into the air to show she’s also frustrated with me.
“Because youaremy everything. Because if for some reason we don’t work out, I don’t think I could stand being in the same room with you and have you not be mine. How would I be able to run a business with you? The answer is I wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t be able to walk in here and not see you everywhere. This is a huge step in our relationship based on trust and security and—” I cut her off.
“And you don’t know if you feel those things with me?” I ask, my heart shattering in my chest. Her features soften and she wraps her arms around herself.
“Of course I do, Leonard. I trust you, but we’ve just started dating and now you threw me into this without speaking to me first. Try to understand why I’m overwhelmed,” she says, but I shake my head, panic filling my chest.
“I’ve always done things by myself, Chiara, trusted my gut to tell me what the right choice is. Believe me when I tell you this will work. I can separate business from my personal life,” I assure her, but she shakes her head and lets it drop, sucking in a sharp breath. It sends a wave of pain through me. This is how I lose her. I’m sure of it.
“Ican’t. I can’t separate how I feel about you from business because I have never felt this way about anyone before. I know you mean well with this, but there is a reason I never asked you. You shouldn’t be the one to risk it all on me if I turn out not to be good enough. You will hate me forever.” There it is. Her real fear has finally come to the surface, and now we can have a better conversation, one where I understand her instead of getting frustrated with her.
“I love you.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Her eyes go wide, but the panic in my chest is finally subsiding. “I’m so in love with you, it overwhelms me.” Tears shoot into her eyes, and I feel some burning mine too. I don’t care. I want her to see I mean every single word I’ve said and am about to add. “You are the only one I want to cook for every night. You are the only one I want to help me in my kitchen. You are the only one I want to argue with. I want everything you offer me because you’re the love of my life.” Her emotions drip down her face, and I close the distance between us to wipe them away. “Years, sweetheart, I’ve known it for years without realizing it, and I’m so sorry it took so long for me to understand how perfect you are for me. You complete me, and I want to be all the good titles in the world for you.” I wipe away one of her tears, but she tilts her head away from me to hide her crying. Her hair falls into her face, so I push it away and bring her gaze back to mine. “You don’t have to be scared about failing and me hating you, Chiara, because I never could, especially not for something like that. Do you understand me?” Her green eyes are glassy, and I wish my love declaration wouldn’t make her so sad.
“I understand,” she croaks out, wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. “Leonard?” Chiara asks, and I lean down to press my forehead to hers.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
