* * *
I’m dumbfounded.
Leonard has organized a little picnic atParco di Monza. When I asked him who put the basket there with the checkered, blue picnic blanket underneath, he merely shrugged. Apparently, I’m not supposed to know, and, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t really care either. I’m too mesmerized by the long stretch of green grass, the little river running through it as well as a bridge connecting the separate pieces of land. The breeze is warm and comfortable, the sky a bright blue, and people around us are laughing and walking. Leonard ignores them all as he leads me to our picnic area and holds my hand to help me settle down on the blanket.
“I know we’ve been eating vegan, but your Nonna told me how much you love some bread withmortadella,” Leonard says as he settles down beside me, and I feel my heart beat unevenly for a split second.
“You got memortadella?” I ask, and he flashes me a happy smile at the expression on my face.
“Yeah, sweetheart,” he says and starts taking out all the food he’s brought.
Grapes, apple slices, themortadellabread he promised me, and a bottle of white wine. There are a few cookies I know will be vegan because they’re for both of us, and I smile at him because this is absolutely perfect.
Then, reality decides to come crashing down on me.
What the hell are we doing?
I work for him! He made me come earlier, and I didn’t even begin to consider what the repercussions will be. We may be getting along now, even have feelings for each other, but he’s risking nothing. Meanwhile, I am putting everything on the line every single time he kisses me. This can’t happen. We shouldn’t be on a date.
“What? What happened?” Leonard asks, panic filling his eyes as he studies me. My breath catches in my throat.
“You have to take me back to the hotel, Leonard. We can’t do this. I work for you. If we fuck this up, I’ll lose everything. I’ll—”I will lose you. I can’t breathe.
“Chiara, baby, please breathe. I know you have a million worries running around in your head, so let’s address them together, okay?” he offers, and I let myself slump back onto the blanket.
“Okay,” I reply, and he takes my hand, his warm, brown eyes on me as he places a kiss to the back of it.
“No matter what happens between us, you will not lose your job. No one cares about Benz as much as you do, and I would never lose sight of that. You will get your paycheck, the same amount as always, and nothing will change about that either. When you work, you will be compensated. Simple as that. I will even make it over the team if it makes you feel better,” he says, but I shake my head. The arrangement we have right now works, I was just worried I’d be jobless when we don’t work out. “Tell me another concern.”
“If I’m the one to fuck this up, you won’t take me to meet investors anymore.” Leonard nods for a moment to acknowledge my words instead of dismissing them with a lame ‘I would never do that’. It sends a wave of calm through me.
“I’ve always wanted to see you succeed, Starling. Apart from that, I told you the many reasons why I’ve been using my connections to help you find an investor. You don’t need me to repeat them. I would give anything to help you reach your potential, no matter our relationship status. Lastly, I don’t think you’re really worried about that. I think you’re scared of losing what we’ve built these past few months,” he says, and I hate him for seeing through me so easily. I know he’d never withhold help from me. It isn’t the type of person Leonard is. Seeing the people he cares about succeed makes him happy.
“We’re not meant to work,” I tell him, and he gives me a sad smile, raising his hand to my cheek.
“If we aren’t, then explain to me why we do,” he replies, and like a metal to a magnet, my forehead moves against his.
“I like your cooking,” I reply, and he starts laughing.
“Just my cooking? Nothing else?” I nod, and he continues sharing his sounds of amusement with me. I smile in response.
“I like that you saved Benz from a shelter,” I add, and he brushes his nose over my cheek.
“Best thing I’ve ever done,” he says, his attention drifting to my lips. “Getting you fired from that bartending job is the second best,” he goes on, and I smack his shoulder.
“That is not funny,” I reply, but he’s serious as he glances all over my face.
“I wasn’t kidding,” he says firmly, running his thumb over my thigh in circles. “If I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have moved in with me. You’d still be working four jobs and living in that safety-hazardous apartment,” he complains, and I give his shoulder another slap.
“That safety-hazardous apartment was my home for six, beautiful years,stronzo,” I reply, but he breaks the bickering tension of the moment as he looks at me with nothing but admiration.
“You know what I like about you?” he asks, dropping his hand to my ribs and tugging until I give in and close the distance between us, careful not to throw any of the food over. “This,” he says and points at my heart. “And this.” His finger moves to my temple, and I shake my head.
“Well, the second one has caused you a lot of trouble over the years,” I reply, and he nods in agreement.
“Why do you think I like it so much?” I can’t help but snort a little.
“Yeah, all of a sudden,” I blurt out, bringing a bright smile to his face. Like always, it knocks the breath from my chest. He shouldn’t be as handsome as he is.
