I guess there is only one way to find out…
“Hey,” I say into the phone, and the sound of his low chuckle fills my ears, sending a wave of nostalgia through me. I miss him so much.
“Hey, stranger. Why have you been ignoring my calls?” he asks, and the nostalgia is replaced by blazing guilt. I’ve never kept anything from him, except the situation with Tim, but that was for his own good. I didn’t want him to worry about me like… like Leonard is.
“Sorry. Things have been crazy. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I reply, sucking in a breath I hope will give me courage.
“You mean that you moved in with Leonard and are working for him this season as Benz’s dog sitter?” Alright, that works too.
“How the fuck do you know that? You are so far away!” Graham chuckles into the phone, completely unbothered by anything he just pointed out.
“I called Mum to check in this morning and she told me,” he explains, and I sit up straighter.
“How’s Rena?”
“She’s doing well. She’s in a lot of pain, but the medication she’s taking seems to ease it,” Graham replies, and I barely hold back a sigh of relief. After that terrifying afternoon, I tried calling Andrew a few times to check in, but we kept missing each other. “Can we get back to you not telling me about Leonard asking you to move in with him and stuff?” he asks, and I suck in a sharp breath.
“Do we have to?” He chuckles in response, so I busy myself by throwing Benz her ball.
“Yes. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, sounding a little disappointed I would keep this from him. “Be honest, are you two hooking up?” Shock knocks the oxygen from my lungs, and I let out a shrill laugh.
“What? Don’t be absurd,” I blurt out, feeling guilty even though Leonard and I haven’t done anything other than share a few intense moments with one another.
“I wouldn’t be upset about it, you know? You and Leonard have always had a connection, even if you tried to cover it up by fighting. I figured you’d break down each other’s walls one day and become more, hoped for it even. I think you’d be good together,” Graham says, sending my head spiraling so far into unknown territory, I have to blink several times to process where I am.
My best friend thinks Leonard and I would be good together. He’s hoping we will break down our walls and embrace the connection he believes we have. Graham wouldn’t mind if Leonard and I hooked up. I thought I knew my best friend, but maybe I don’t because he’s made me speechless.
“You there?” he asks after a moment of silence turns into three, and I let out a short laugh I don’t mean.
“Leonard and I are not hooking up,” is all I manage to say. Graham lets out a thoughtful hum.
“But you have been growing closer,” he states, and I stare at the ground in front of me.
“I’m finding investors for our gallery, Graham. By the time you come back, we will move in together again, and we will get our dream, I promise,” I say to change the subject, but when silence fills the line again, I get a weird feeling in my chest.
“Chiara—” he starts, but I cut him off.
“You’re not coming back, are you?” I don’t know how I know, but I do. The realization hits me hard and deep in the chest until breathing becomes impossible.
“Not in the next five months, no. I met someone here, and she’s—fuck, luv, she’s everything. But I want you to keep fighting for your dream. I want you to make it happen and become successful because you deserve to be happy. Just like I am now.”
His dreams have changed. He’s no longer planning on opening an art gallery with me. I should have seen this coming, should have prepared myself for it, but I wasn’t ready to accept I was alone in this.
“I’m happy for you,” I whisper, feeling my heart shatter a little at the thought of him not coming back soon. It’s been him and me for two decades. Now it’s just me…
Because it’s you and me now, little demon.
Leonard’s words echo in my head, and I forget how to breathe once more. I’m not alone. No matter the chaos between us, Leonard is going to be here for me because it’s him and me now. The two people closest to me are going their own way, but he’s been trying to creep into their places without me realizing. I don’t mind being alone, I know I can be. When I was working four jobs, I went through it all by myself, hardly seeing Mamma and Graham, or anyone really. But I don’t want to be alone, I don’t think anyone does deep down, and Leonard is making sure I don’t have to be.
It’s you and me now, little demon.
Because I’m starting to become his person too. It’s inevitable when you spend as much time together as we do. It’s inevitable when you do make sense together. Leonard and I are a lot alike. We both hate most people. We like bickering with each other because it blows off some steam we don’t get to release in any other way. We love dogs and a perfect evening for us consists of eating a home-cooked meal and watching a good movie.
“I’ll come visit soon, luv, alright?” Graham says, pulling me back to reality.
“Alright,” I reply, my eyes shifting to the screen in Benz’s and my private room to see Leonard didn’t get pole, Jonathan did.
“I love you,” Graham adds, and I say it back before lowering my phone, watching the rest of the coverage, and waiting for Leonard.
