‘Welcome and thank you for coming tonight, this is my first winter solstice ritual but I hope it won’t be my last,’ Lola began as she found her voice. A few people gave a little round of applause. ‘Thank you. I believe it’s important at the closing of the year to give thanks for what has come to pass and also to set intentions for what we want from the coming year. Today is the shortest day, our darkest hours, a time to reflect but also a time of hope. Going forward the days will grow lighter as we head towards spring’s rebirth.’ Lola passed a box to Freya. ‘Please take a pen and two slips of paper, but keep them safe. I’ll explain what they are for.’
The box was passed around and everyone dutifully took their supplies. Once the box came back to Lola she continued. ‘What I’d like you all to do is to take a few minutes to think of something you are most grateful for from this year. Then I want you to write it down. Once you’ve done that I invite you to screw the paper up and put it in the fire, to release that gratitude.’
Lola stared at her slip as everyone around her slowly began to write. Love was the first thing that sprang to mind. The love she’d received from Polcarrow, the love she’d helped Freya and Angelo find, and another kind of love, one she hadn’t expected to find herself. Seeing that everyone else had finished, she leaned forward and tossed her piece of paper into the flames. Everyone followed suit.
‘Now we’re going to do a short meditation. Please don’t feel any pressure to travel anywhere through this. All I really want you to find is a moment of peace and stillness, a moment where there are no other demands on your life. A moment to reconnect with nature, with the ancient spirits. If you want to focus on something maybe focus on what you would like to bring into your life next year. Meditate on it, imagine what that thing would feel like, that you are worthy of receiving it. Close your eyes, I will bang this drum three times to begin the meditation and then three times to end it.’
Lola watched as everyone settled in. She wondered how many people were here because they believed in the practice, how many were simply curious or wanted to try something new. She noticed Freya and Angelo had linked their hands together and the sight touched Lola. Confident that everyone’s eyes were closed, she beat the little drum three times and then closed her own eyes.
Almost instantly she settled into the moment, her tired brain giving up to the peace of meditation. Her eyes closed off to visual stimulants her soul began to respond to the natural ones it sensed. The crack and warmth of the flames, ancient and dependable. The notion that for thousands of years people had gathered around fires for companionship and togetherness swelled in her heart as Lola reconnected with the simplicity of human nature. In the background the waves continued their eternal ebb and flow, providing the rhythm of life since the world began. Lola retreated into a calm, centred place. A place that was comfort and love, where the embers of hope still burned. She fed them with her secret desires for the year ahead, mentally nurturing the life she wanted to live. Emotion swelled in her chest and the overwhelming sensation to cry, to release, ran through her as her soul travelled somewhere deep but safe. Strength flowed back through her fingers, the warmth emanating into her body and a wave of positivity washed over her for the future. It was as if her grandmother was there, speaking directly to her, tucking a stray hair behind her ear and telling her she’d made all the right choices. A blessing from the heavens.
A crackle of flames brought Lola swimming back up to the present. Surfacing, she picked up her drum and beat it three times. ‘Come back to the light, to the darkness slowly. Take your time.’ She watched as her gathering rubbed their eyes, yawned, stretched and came back to the present. Lola smiled to herself, pleased at how peaceful they all looked. Briefly her eyes met with Tristan’s, snagging on a moment of truth that was larger than them both.
‘Now, I hope whatever journey you have been on that you travelled somewhere nice. Somewhere safe. I invite you to write one wish, or something you wish to manifest onto your second piece of paper. We will then offer it to the fire and pray that our wishes come true.’ Lola scribbled without daring to look or confront what she was writing, then balled it up tightly, less her secret desire snuck out.
‘I’ll go first.’ She knelt forward. ‘I give thanks and gratitude for everything that has been given to us this year. Community, friendship and love, these things all enrich our lives. I am blessed by everything you have bestowed on us. I thank you for watching over us this past year and offer up a prayer for love and protection for the year to come. Hear our desires for the year ahead, please guide us to help make these wishes come true. Namaste.’ Lola bowed her head in silent contemplation for a few moments before throwing her paper in the flames, watching as the fire devoured her wish, turning it to ashes.
Sitting back, she wiped away the tears that were leaking from her eyes. She hadn’t expected to have her emotions stirred so much. She was stronger, empowered, the universe had her back and the coming year loomed less ominously.
‘And now,’ she announced once everyone had thrown their papers into the fire, ‘it’s time to properly celebrate.’ The cheer that went up was like an embrace, a confirmation of her place in Polcarrow.
Chapter Thirty-Four
People emerged from the ceremony yawning and stretching, their eyes readjusting to their surroundings. Lola watched as they smiled at neighbours, heard their nervous laughs and felt the deep contentment that had fallen over the gathering. She sensed in her soul that the event had been transformative, that the group had enjoyed it.
Sue made her way over and yawned. ‘That was so relaxing, do you think you could do more of this?’
Lola hadn’t thought about it previously but instantly brightened at the idea of a new business venture. ‘I don’t see why not. Maybe not on this scale with the huge bonfire, but I don’t see why we shouldn’t form a little circle here in Polcarrow. Leave it with me, Sue, something else to tuck up my sleeve for the New Year,’ she said. ‘You’ll definitely sleep well tonight.’
‘You have no idea how thankful I’ll be for that, I’ve been lying in bed writing mental lists of all the things I need to do for Christmas and wondering if my mother-in-law will like the lilac jumper I’ve bought her, or worrying about the turkey being dry—’
‘Stop right there, it will all be fine. Who doesn’t love a lilac jumper and turkey is always a bit dry, so no point worrying about it. It’s supposed to be the season of love and joy so it always amazes me how so many people tie themselves up in knots over it.’
Sue nodded. ‘Very true. Right, well, if your meditation wasn’t enough to knock me out, I better go and sample some of Steve’s mulled wine. Do you want one?’
Lola shook her head and didn’t have the heart to tell Sue that post spiritual practice it was usually best not to reach for the alcohol. However, the mulled wine had gained almost legendary status ever since Steve had announced he was making it, so she didn’t think anyone would heed her advice. Lola was relaxed and floating on air enough without it. Popping all her materials back in her tote bag, she scanned the crowd, watching as Freya cracked open the biscuits and marshmallows and started to dish out s’mores to anyone who wanted one.
‘Well, that was quite something,’ Alf said as he sidled up to her. ‘I never thought I’d get involved with any of this sort of hippy stuff and certainly not at my age, but, well, that was very peaceful. I’ve not felt as calm as that in years but maybe that’s because I’ve left Scruff at home. Speaking of which, I think I better go back to him, let you young’uns have your fun. Watch out, that young woman seems to have her claws into poor Tristan.’
Lola’s eyes followed to where Alf indicated and she swallowed back a lump in her throat as she saw Anna laughing as she got melted marshmallow in her long wavy hair. Lola’s stomach churned as she witnessed Anna’s over-the-top flirty behaviour. Peering through the darkness she was only somewhat reassured to see Tristan wasn’t reacting. Alf gave her a quick pat on the arm before making his way back towards the road, using a torch he’d pulled out of his pocket to light the way. Tristan caught her eye, turned to Anna, said something and made his way over to her. Anna’s eyes narrowed at Lola.
‘I’ve tried many different things in my life, observed many different ways of worshipping, but tonight has been something very special. I can’t quite explain it, but I feel it in here.’ He put his hand on his heart. ‘It feels like I’ve returned to an ancient time, to whatever predated all the things I do. It’s been . . . beautiful,’ he said sincerely.
Lola stepped towards him, as if pulled by an invisible thread. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it. Sue’s asked me to do more.’
‘That’s certainly an idea I can get behind,’ he said without removing his eyes from hers. ‘I think we could all do with getting back in touch with our roots more often.’
Lola fought the urge to lean into him. She could feel the warmth of his body and, completely ignoring the fact that she’d spent the past couple of days shutting him out, willed him to step closer. No one reached her quite like Tristan did. He gave her hand the briefest of squeezes, longing shining in his eyes. She swallowed back the temptation to ask about Anna.
‘Are you sure I can’t convince you to come to the pub?’ he asked.
As tempting an offer as he made it, Lola shook her head, overcome with a sudden fatigue. She didn’t much feel like partying. Deep meditations always left her wiped out and in need of sleep. ‘No, I have some cakes I need to finish off and I would never normally drink after such a deep practice,’ she told him.
Tristan looked aghast and frowned at his cup of mulled wine. ‘Should I not be having this?’
‘It’s fine, honestly, it is. I’m pleased with how many people have turned out, how much of a party this looks like it’ll become. I feel such a deep sense of peace, of belonging that I want a chance to reflect on it.’ She reached out and put a hand on Tristan’s arm. ‘Thank you for everything. For guiding me with the whole Alf, Charlie and Ruby triangle. It won’t bring either of them back but it’s brought Alf and me closer and I can’t complain about that.’
‘I think your grandmother would be proud of what you’ve done, Lola.’
