“Same as before?”
“Yeah, it never seemed worth changing after all these years.” He digs his toe into some invisible spot on the ground. “Okay, so text me, and we’ll work something out.”
“I will. Good to see you again, Nathan.”
“You, too, Colt.” He leans forward, and for a second, I think he might kiss me. Memories of that afternoon as a teenager fill my head, and I wonder if he still tastes as sweet. Instead, he pullsaway and walks to his car. I wait until he drives away before I head back to my vehicle.
Fuck. I still have a massive crush on him.
Chapter Three
COLT
After chickeningout of sending Nathan a message onInstagramat least a dozen times, I can’t believe I managed to run into him. And on my first night out. That had to be some version of fate, right?
Nathan might not have been the main reason I moved to Cardinal Falls, but he was near the top of the list. My enthusiasm fuels me through the last several hours of work. I love my new job, but it comes with a lot of red tape. Today, I spent five hours attempting to solve a computer issue. After all that, I managed to track down an email address for help, only to receive an out-of-office reply.
“Why don’t you go ahead and go home for the day? We’ll get the issue worked out next week.” Stephanie leans in my doorway. My boss did care about her employees.
“Thanks. I’m sorry I couldn’t accomplish more today.” She waves me off with her hand.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ve been without someone in this role for a long time, so we’re thankful to have you here with usnow. Now, get out of here and enjoy your weekend.” She didn’t need to tell me twice. I waste no time packing my notebook and water bottle into my backpack and heading for the parking garage. After sticking my bag in the trunk of my bluePrius, I hop in and pat the steering wheel. I’ve put too many miles on her over the last few months. “Don’t worry, Blue, no more of that for us. We’re both due for a relaxing weekend.”
On the drive home, my mind keeps returning to Nathan. Part of me can’t believe I found him again. Technically, he’d have to be lost first. Thanks to the small-town gossip mill and social media, I’ve always known a few details about his life. I wouldn’t call it stalking, but if I paid a little extra attention to his updates, that’s just being a good friend. It hurt to see him living a life that didn’t include me. It’s at least half my fault for not telling him how I felt. I’m still kicking myself for that fuck up.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and for a second, before the caller ID pops on the screen on the dash, I hope it’s Nathan using my number. No luck. Instead, my dad’s name flashes on the front screen. I almost ignore it, but he’ll keep calling back, and the drive home is as good of a time as any to deal with him. “Hey, Dad.” At least this way, I have a built-in excuse to end the call when I get home.
“Is now an okay time, Colt?” He always asks, no matter how often I reassure him I won’t answer if I’m busy.
“On my way home from work. What’s up?”
“How’s that going? You still like the new gig?”
“It’s great. Everyone’s been accommodating, and I think it’ll be a perfect fit once I settle in.”
“You know, there are plenty of jobs at the nearby hospitals. You didn’t have to move so far away.” Ah, yes, this conversation. I knew both sides of it by heart. Yes, there were hospitals nearby with plenty of jobs, but they were all too close to home—not that I could say the last part. Instead, I came up with plenty of linesabout the opportunity to move up and into a more extensive health system with opportunities for advancement. I left out the part where being here meant I finally got to live my life without looking over my shoulder.
And that pretty much sums up the agreement I had with my family. No personal life discussion. The problem with living close to home is that for everyone not to discuss it, there needed to be nothing to discuss. I hadn’t exactly been a monk, but it did limit my choices.
“I’m aware but couldn’t turn down such a good opportunity. Plus, they offered me a lot more money.” Okay, it wasn’t that much more, especially considering the increased cost of living in a city, but the financial argument was typically the fastest way to end the discussion.
He hums his agreement. “Okay. Are you making friends out there?”
“A few. It’s hard since I’ve been back and forth so much.” I wince at my words. I don’t want him to feel bad for putting me out these last few weeks. “I’ll get out a bit more now and try to make some friends.” I bite my tongue for a minute, deciding whether to mention Nathan. My parents had never been his biggest fans, though I always thought those feelings mostly came from my mom. Either way, I don’t think they were sad when he went away to college. “Guess who I ran into?” Fuck it. I might as well rip off the band-aid. “Nathan Winslow.”
Silence fills the car as I stop at a red light. “Are you still there?”
“I’m here,” he says tensely.
Not a thrilled tone. I push forward, answering a bunch of questions a more supportive parent might ask. “He’s good. He works at a local nonprofit for kids. Having a friend who can show me around a little is nice.” Or at least I hope we’re moving in that direction. “I haven’t seen him in a long time.” My voice is nearlya whisper in the last sentence. Hopefully, my dad can’t hear the longing in my voice.
“Just make sure you’re making plenty of new friends, too. Moving is a big life change, and you need a good support system.”
The light turns green, and I make the final turn before my house. “Yes, Dad.” So the same discussion from high school. Nathan’s fine, but wouldn’t I like some other friends? I need to make more friends, but Nathan has always been it for me. The moment we met at age ten, the connection felt instantaneous. My parents always insinuated that he was a bad influence, even though they were the ones who introduced us. At the time, our parents were in a weekly bowling league together.
When he came out, they worried I might end up gay if we hung out together too much, like it was contagious or something. I guess the joke was on me because it turned out I was gay, too.
“Well, I’m almost home, so...” I let the words trail off as I slowly pass the school zone near my place.
