He slipped his hands under her dress and knew she would be slick for him. How easy it would be to shed these clothes, these flimsy fabric barriers, and push into her.
Her sighs and mewls had every link on the chains he had around himself breaking apart. He wanted her. Now.
His fingers tightened around the band of her panties. He could tear them right off her. Feel her warmth against his skin. Feel her clench around him.
No!a voice at the back of his mind shouted.
What was he doing? He couldn’t have sex with her. Especially not now, when they were both raw. He couldn’t let them seek comfort in each other like that. Not to mention he had no protection.
Vasili tore his lips away from Helia’s and pressed his forehead against hers. Their breaths were ragged. He had been so close to forsaking his mission. The thought of what might have happened if he’d entered her bare was sobering. He couldn’t risk having a child. The throne wasn’t meant to endure. But he had found Helia so tempting he had forgotten what he was working towards.
‘I’m sorry...’ he panted.
‘For what?’
Her pupils were blown wide. Skin flushed. How wonderful it would be to see her writhing under him.
‘This isn’t what you need right now. Not after what you told me.’
It was an excuse, and he knew it, but he couldn’t tell her that he didn’t want to have sex with her, because that would be a lie, and he couldn’t tell her that they shouldn’t, because he could barely remember why. But he could tell her he would take care of her—because he would.
‘I’m not going to have sex with you, but I am going to take care of you. Allow me that?’
Helia studied his face. Searching, he presumed, for an answer he couldn’t give her. And maybe she understood, because she nodded and shifted off him.
He stood and adjusted the evidence of his arousal, then took her hand, leading her out of the office. Their union wasn’t meant to include sex, but he couldn’t ignore their physical reaction to each other. And now he thought maybe there was more to it than that. Because every thought he had in this moment centred around his wife.
Vasili told himself that he had to do better...to remember why he held himself back. He couldn’t lose control again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
VASILIHADN’TSLEPTa wink. All he’d been able to think about was what Helia had been through. He had known loneliness, but even though his family had never been there for him, he’d still had a brother who had cared to a degree. He hadn’t been entirely abandoned—not like Helia. To trust someone, to think they had your best interests in mind, and then to be so betrayed at such a young age would have broken anyone. Especially at such a vulnerable time.
Vasili still didn’t know how to react to the trust she had shown in telling him. He’d never had anyone wanting to be that close to him. Now the first person to do so was the one person he was trying to keep at arm’s length, and it was proving harder and harder every day.
Having her confide in him had made him feel fulfilled in a way that was alien, even if it also angered him that she’d had to deal with so much strife.
At least now he understood why she’d married him. Why this mission of hers was so important. Seeing the people at the orphanage had affected him, but to know that Helia had been one of them both crushed him and ignited a determination to help her. Which was why he had finally given up on sleep and worked on the solution that he would propose to her. He would include her in every step.
As soon as the rest of the palace had awakened, he had sent for her.
For now he sat with Andreas, a folder open before him. He studied his advisor and personal secretary, who seemed hell-bent on pushing for a bill that went against everything Vasili was hoping to achieve. He kept one eye on the door. Helia would be arriving shortly. He could already picture her expression when she learnt about this.
‘This does nothing to better Thalonia,’ Vasili said, tossing a page back into the folder.
‘Of course it does, Your Majesty. This would benefit everyone.’
‘Everyone whom you deem important,’ Vasili corrected. ‘This is trickle-down economics.’
‘Nothing is more effective.’
‘Don’t try to sell that to me, Andreas. We both know it doesn’t work that way.’
‘It’s my advice to you to sign off on this bill.’
Vasili stared Andreas down. There was absolutely no way that he would. Bills like this were the reason why places like the orphanage existed in the state they did. Why the poor of Thalonia suffered in silence. His father would have signed off on it, but Vasili was determined on being a different kind of king.
Through the tension, a knock sounded on the door and in walked Helia. She was frowning as she looked between him and Andreas.
