I don’t know what I need.
I can’t…
I can’t…
Darkness encroaches on the edges of my vision the longer I struggle to draw air into my lungs.
I can’t breathe.
The vise around my chest refuses to budge.
I throw off the comforter and stumble from the bed, still naked after falling asleep in Killian’s arms.
My feet hit the hand-hewn wood floor, and I stumble slightly, grabbing the nightstand to keep me upright long enough to find my bearings and work my way to the bathroom.
Heavy footsteps come fast behind me, and by the time I grip the counter and look up in the mirror, he’s flipped on the light and is right there behind me, his blue gaze full of panicked concern as he watches me in our reflection. “Willow, tell me what happened.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, unable to look at him as the memory assaults me like a branding iron driven straight into my brain. “I was in a lot of pain. And…and th-there was someone there. Someone I didn’t want touching me. Maybe the one who hurt me. I don’t…” I grit my teeth, my head throbbing as I attempt to force the memory to come clearer through sheer will, even though that’s never worked before. “I don’t understand it. I don’t know. I…”
Killian steps forward and wraps his arms around me, tugging me back against his naked body tightly, holding me steady, taking my weight, and supporting me fully.
I may not have wanted him to touch me a few moments ago, but he knew that was what I need now, to ground me, to bring me back when I’m unraveling.
His familiar scent wraps around me as he grazes his lips over my neck. “I’ve got you, Honeybee. You’re safe.”
“I can’t”—I struggle to take a breath—“I-I can’t breathe.”
“You can.” He rests his hand flat over my chest, the other across my stomach. “Take a deep breath in.”
I do it slowly, following his command, sucking air in through my nose, my body filling with the much-needed oxygen, pressing out against his hold.
“Good.” His warm breath flutters across my neck. “Now, let it out…slowly.”
Instead of the rush that wants to flow from deep in my chest, I concentrate on doing as I’m told.
Slowly.
Air floats from between my lips, a long flow as his hands move with me.
“Again.”
Another command I have to follow.
Over and over.
Deep.
Slow.
Breaths.
Directed by the man who holds my life in his hands.
Until my heart finally slows.
Until my lungs stop feeling like they’re unyielding stone.
Killian’s even breathing and rough palms on my skin guide me back to finally feeling like I’m here in this moment with him again.
