Hayden eventually took his call outside the room, leaving me alone. In the silence, save for the sound of water dripping somewhere in this dark room, I neared panic.
What if Hayden is too independent from this group he seems to be affiliated with?
What if another contractor tries to get Maxim? Or Damon? Saul?
Fuck. What about Sloane?Maxim had only just started his future with his fiancée. But even that first step of being engaged to her and knocking her up was a step toward putting her in harm’s way. From what it sounded like, Sloane hadn’t enjoyed an easy life until she met him at the strip club where she’d worked. Maxim had killed men who’d tried to hurt her, too. If these contractors were hired to take her—to threaten her life and the life of the unborn baby she carried right now…
“Fuck.” I whispered it and slowly opened my eyes to peer at the room I was in.
I didn’t want my brother to be stressed about protecting her when he was already overwhelmed with being the boss of the family. While I was only starting to get to know Sloane, I would protect her as my future sister-in-law. That was how fiercely protective we were as Ivanovs. That was what the family stood for. Security with power.
No one was in the room, and without any hint of someone watching me in here, I opened my eyes fully to mark the scant details of this space. Taking note and being aware of my surroundings was a habit. As a spy, I wanted to leave nothing to guesswork or lower my guard.
While nothing showed as a threat in this space, I felt the beginning stirring of an adrenaline rush anyway. I perceived a threat just from what Hayden had said.
What if they take my brothers?
It wouldn’t be the first time. We’d all been raised to expect danger at any time. We were targets, the brothers of the most powerful Mafia organization. Three of us had been taken when we were children and almost shot execution-style. It was a defining moment for us as boys, a period of maturing too soon and understanding how critical it was to be in charge and have power, not overtaken and weak.
If these contractors were ordered to go after my brothers, then we wouldn’t be held together, like before. I had no doubt my brothers could overcome hardships and tough out being captive. We’d all trained to expect the worst and be physically and mentally prepared for hell. Still, I’d hate for them to go through it on their own and not be able to lean on me for help.
Sloane would be at more of a risk.
I wasn’t belittling her or being sexist. Maxim insisted that she was a strong woman, but I could see that for myself. She had attitude. Shewastough. Being his fiancée and the mother of his child, the family’s only heir in the next generation, put her at more risk than usual.
Enemies would see her as collateral. Or they’d treat her as a way to distract Maxim. No matter how strong or courageous she was, she would always be a liability to watch out for.
Just like when Father was married to Beatrice, my mother, she was a liability that he had to be wary of. She had turnedagainst him, though, proving to be a threat to us all. Because of her affairs and infidelity, she’d nearly ruined the entire family. By sleeping with the wrong rival, she’d fallen too easily into a trap. It was her fault that Maxim, Nik, and I were taken and nearly killed.
My chest heaved as I let go of a big, deep sigh. Exhaustion fought with the increasing anger that I couldn’t quiet after hearing what Hayden had said.
This is why I can’t have anything with Katerina, either.
I’d been hesitant for years to pursue her. Our being enemies was the clearest obstacle between us. But it was also that fear of trusting a woman that reminded me to never start anything with Katerina. It was that reluctance to add on to my obligations of keeping her safe and preventing her from turning against me or being taken.
I’d already messed up with her by caving to my desire that one night. But that had to be the end of it. That had to be the most I would allow myself to have with her.
If I were to let her be included in my life as more than the daughter of a former friend of the family, when Thomas Kozlov was alive, or if I were to let her enter my life as more than the sexy, sneaky woman who was my one-night stand, I’d need to account for keeping her safe.
At the thought of Katerina and how I’d last seen her, I had to worry again that I’d already complicated her life and compromised her safety. If anyone were to find out that she’d slept with me, that she’d ever helped me when I asked her for help to hack into the surveillance, she’d be targeted.
No. I can’t let her in. She can’t be mine.
It was too twisted to consider now, when I felt like a race had begun to keep my family safe.
So long as I was held captive, I could keep a finger on the pulse of threats aimed at my brothers.
And if I were here and nowhere near the temptation of trying to make Katerina mine, she wouldn’t be a risk that tied to my fate.
Forget about it. She’d never be mine.
That one stolen night we’d shared would have to last me a lifetime, and I’d never regret it.
7
KATERINA
“Where are you, Nik?” I whispered to myself as I hid in another mostly abandoned guest house on the land.
