There was a twitch of something in her look. Annoyance? Disappointment? Nerves tingled up my spine as she let out a breath and moved to straddle me.
She slid over my cock, swallowing me back into her with an arch of her hips. God, I adored her being on top. Watching her take what she wanted.
Not tonight.
Tonight she needed me totake.
I placed my hand back on her throat, restricting her breath as much as I dared. Which wasn’t a lot. Tackling a scrum of angry men on the field felt a lot less intimidating than letting down a paramour. How could leading a team down the pitch feel less scary than the uncharted territory she was tossing at me?
Cringe settled in as I sat back against the headboard, loosely cradling her throat as she rode me. The expression on her face told me that I was already failing to meet expectations, but my mind drew a blank on what to do.
‘Do you want me to move?’ I asked. ‘Or for me to call you a bitch or something?’
I’d never toyed with the whole dominant thing. I was about as dominant as a slice of wet bread. But I ached to please Sarah. All I wanted was to see her smile.
‘Do whatever you want with me,’ she said, her fingers moving down her chest to pinch at her nipples.Hard. A blissful moan tumbled from her lips. When she dropped her hands, the pink nubs stood pebbled and firm, crowning her perfect tits.
God damn.
I tipped us over, getting a pleased murmur from her as I thrust more deeply inside her, scooping my hips.
‘You’re such a… a…’ Fuck. My mind lay empty as I scrambled to find some dirty words. ‘Such a tart.’
Sarah’s nose crinkled and another wave of panic washed over me. That look, the way the light left her eyes, felt like a loss on the final whistle.
‘Tell me what you want to hear me say?’ I sighed.
‘If I tell you, it ruins it.’ Sarah shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. ‘Just forget it, babe.’
I continued thrusting, closing my eyes and burying my face in Sarah’s neck, needing it to be over.
When I came it was laced with shame.
A spurt of pure disappointment.
We lay together for a long time afterward, silence coating us in a blanket of awkwardness. Her breath settled into a sleep filled pattern long before mine. I stared at the ceiling until I knew every pit in the painted surface, beating myself all the while for being a failure. If I couldn’t make her happy in bed, what else was I failing at in our relationship?
I had to find a way to be the man she wanted me to be.
And there was only one man depraved enough to teach me.
SIX
DREW
The sound of the water splashing was the sole noise in the pool house. It was one of the few places at home that I could be alone and not really feel alone. Tearing through the cool water became something of a grounding mechanism over my years living under my stepmum’s roof.
In the house I’d always felt like I was living on borrowed ground. But Eloise rarely came out to the pool, being that she hated swimming with a passion. Why she’d bought a house with a swimming pool—a rarity in the UK—was lost on me.
Let’s face it, it was for kudos. As much as she didn’t swim, she managed to drop having a pool into an awful lot of conversations.
The outer door opened, pulling me to a stop.
Footsteps followed.
Turning, I saw Jake approaching.
‘You’re up early,’ I said. Moving to the edge of the pool I folded my arms on the cool tiles. Jake sat heavily on one of the poolside chairs, which bowed under his muscled physique.
