—
Well, shit, this wasn’t going at all well. Mikhail glanced toward the door and briefly wondered if he could make it outside before Amy could stop him. And wouldn’t that reek of cowardice? She was already looking at him like the low-life slug he was. That would only add to the problem if for no other reason than Tino and Jay would ask a bunch of questions he didn’t want to answer, especially if she came out of his house looking upset.
Time for some honest answers, even if that’s the last thing he wanted to give her.
“I like you, Amy.”
He paused when she flinched as if his words had struck a blow. “I do. I mean that.”
“Oh, yeah, sure you do. That’s why you decided you needed a buffer zone out there today. If I hadn’t heard Jay using the nail gun, would you have even come let me know it was time to work on the fence?”
“Yeah, I would have. I was going to as soon as I got back with the supplies and picked up Tino and Ricky. It’s just that…”
When he didn’t immediately continue, Amy looked disgusted. “Just spit out whatever it is that you’re not wanting to say, Mikhail. I’d rather hear the truth even if it hurts than wonder what I did that has you so weirded out.”
Fine. “I already said I like you. That much is true. The problem is that it would be easy to like you a whole lot more.”
This time she crossed her arms over her chest as she studied him. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be if I hadn’t just gotten out of the Corps so recently. I’m doing better, but it hasn’t been easy transitioning back to civilian life. Until I get my head on straight, it wouldn’t be fair to get involved with any woman right now, but especially not you.”
Somehow he’d drifted back into touching distance without even realizing it. He brushed a strand of her hair back from her face. “You’re sweet and funny and so damn beautiful. You deserve better than a messed-up vet fighting to keep his head above water. It’s all I can do to convince my family that I’m okay. I don’t have enough energy left over to act normal all the time.”
The anger in her eyes was gone, replaced by what looked suspiciously like pity. Damn it, that’s the last thing he wanted from her. “Look, I don’t want you feeling sorry for me, Amy. I just need you to understand that the best I can offer is friendship, especially when I go through another rough patch. Anything beyond that is out of the question.”
She drew a shuddering breath, obviously struggling to control her own emotions. “Remind me, Mikhail. Just when did I ask you for anything more than that? Because I can tell you that the last thing I want right now is to get my life tangled up with anybody else’s. If you had asked me, I would’ve told you that friendship is all I was ever hoping for.”
“Why would you settle for that?”
Her gaze dropped down to stare somewhere south of his chin. “Let’s just say that this is my first time living out on my own. I’m still working on building up my business. I’ve got a new puppy coming. I’ve got a lot of work to do on my house and yard. The list goes on and on. That’s enough for one person to handle, don’t you think?”
He’d bet his bottom dollar that those were excuses and not the real reason. Interesting that she would choose to lie, but he didn’t call her on it. It wasn’t as if he was ready to spill his guts, either. He used his forefinger to lift her chin, hoping to make eye contact with her again. Stubborn woman that she was, she shifted her eyes to look to the side. Well, if sniper training was good for anything other than the obvious, it taught a man patience. Finally, she sighed and looked up at him, those dark eyes stubbornly holding on to their secrets.
“Someday you’ll have to tell me the real reasons you don’t want more, if not from me, then someone else. I won’t push for answers if you won’t push me.”
Resting his hands lightly on her shoulders, he gave in to the urge to taste those sweet lips again, keeping it light and easy. “So, friends with no benefits. Deal?”
She managed a small nod. “Deal.”
Regret filled his chest that she accepted the bargain without putting up a bigger fight. Did he really want her to convince him that he was wrong to set limits? Maybe, but that just proved he was right to do so.
He needed to release his hold on her, but his hands stubbornly remained right where they were. “So we’re good?”
Amy’s palms settled against his chest, exactly where she’d feel the double-time pace his heart was doing right now. “We are.”
“Okay, then.”
Damn, this conversation was lame and going nowhere fast. Mikhail took a deep breath and forced himself to step back. Her hands fell away from his chest, taking their gentle warmth with them. “We should get back outside.”
It seemed for a second she was going to say something else, something important. But then Amy shook her head and disappeared out the back door without another word. He almost called her back, wanting one last kiss before he had to share her company with the idiots out in the yard, but that would have defeated the purpose of the conversation they’d just had.
At least pounding on nails would give him a safe target for his frustration. They only had two nail guns, but a hammer would serve his needs far better anyway. He’d burn up a lot more energy nailing up the boards with brute strength. One deep breath released part of his tension. A second took care of the rest, or at least enough of it. Hoping he looked more calm than he was, he headed out into the yard to join the others. He picked up the cooler and carried it over toward the property line where it would be easily accessible to everyone.
Jay gave him an odd look as he walked by, but at least he didn’t say anything. Tino didn’t comment, either, when he headed over to the cooler to grab a can of pop. Amy had already set to work carrying boards to Jay. At least she was smiling. It didn’t look completely genuine to Mikhail, but maybe that was wishful thinking on his part. He had a sick feeling that he had just let something potentially really special slip through his fingers. It was unfair of him to want her to have regrets, too.
Ricky made a beeline for the cooler. “Where’d you disappear to for so long? For a minute there, I thought maybe you’d pulled a Tom Sawyer and snookered us into building the fence while you hung out with Amy.”
Mikhail automatically cuffed his nephew on the back of the head, even if his heart wasn’t really in it. But if he let a crack like that pass without retaliating, Tino and Jay would for sure know something was up. He’d told them he could use extra help because Amy might be getting her puppy sooner than expected. They’d accepted his excuse at face value, but they weren’t stupid. At the first scent that things weren’t exactly as he’d told them, they’d be all over him.
