In the quiet of the room next door, he turned on the small lamp on the bedside table and studied his name on the envelope. “Okay, Dad, here goes.”
He pulled out his pocketknife and carefully slit open the envelope. He tried telling himself that he was moving slowly to make sure that he didn’t damage the letter, but that was a lie. When Jack had read his own letter last year, he’d said it felt a bit like losing Joe all over again. Tino hadn’t understood the sentiment at the time; now he did. This was the last conversation he and Joe would ever have.
That didn’t stop him from unfolding the piece of plain white paper covered with Joe’s familiar handwriting. He swiped at his eyes with the hem of his T-shirt because the blur of tears made it nearly impossible to decipher his father’s message. By his third reading, every word in the letter was permanently etched in his memory.
Dear Tino,
I’m sorry, but if you’re reading this, it looks like I won’t be there to remind you regularly of how much I love you, son. Always have, always will.
Having said that, you came to us thinking you had to be perfect to earn your place in our hearts. That somehow you had to fit our image of who you should be. Don’t tell my wife I said this, but my response to that whole idea is to simply say, “That’s bullshit!”
The truth is that real love and acceptance are freely given and should not have to be earned. You walked in our door and filled our hearts with joy. We might not have given birth to you, son, but you and your brothers gave purpose and real meaning to our lives. It was that simple.
I get that your experiences before coming to live with us have left you cautious about letting people get too close.
It’s not your fault that the idiot relatives who took you in after your folks died made you feel as if you weren’t worthy to be part of their family. You should never have had to try to change who you are just to fit in. They were fools with small hearts with no room for anything but their own selfishness. The fault was always theirs, Tino, never yours.
When you finally meet the right woman, let her see the real you, the man you are meant to be and not some fictionalized, perfect you. If the lady is worthy of your heart, she’ll love you, warts and all. You know, like Marlene loved me.
You have so much to offer others. Whatever you choose to do with your life, I know you’ll make me proud.
Love,
Joe
The paper was a bit wrinkled by the time Tino finished poring over the letter one last time. He smoothed it out before sliding it back into the envelope. Like Jack, Tino knew he’d just been given his marching orders by their father. Tino needed to get off dead center and figure out what he wanted out of life and how to get it.
After all, a soldier needed a plan in order to achieve his objective. With that in mind, Tino stretched out on the bed and made a mental inventory of everything that made him happy and gave him a sense of purpose. Natalie was at the top of that list. Once he accepted that much, everything else fell into place.
Now it was time to get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.
