Oh sure, now my body wants to listen to what my brain is telling it to do.
I contemplate rushing down to my room like a scaredy-cat afraid to face my fears. Instead, I mentally pull up my big-girl panties—and thank every lucky star I already have my physical ones on—and walk over to Olivia's door. It takes until my second knock before she opens up.
"Can I come in?"
I'm not sure I'm off to a good start when Olivia merely nods instead of giving me a verbal answer. I do take it for what it's worth, though, and enter the girls’ bedroom. The decor matches their combined personalities. Soft pinks, greens, and flowers make up the majority of the room. I notice she's already made her bed, and the room is spotlessly clean. Not a single thing out of place. Olivia must’ve recently cleaned it because it isn’t always this way.
"Do you mind if I take a seat?" I whisper.
I point to the pink fluffy chair in one corner and wait for her to give me permission. It is her space, after all, and I want her to be comfortable having agency over it.
"I was wondering if we could talk."
"About you and Daddy?"
Damn, she sounds so mature for her young age. "Yes, about that."
"Are you going to be my new mommy?" Her little voice trembles as she asks the question, making her sound so lost and confused.
"Oh, sweetie." I get up from the chair and kneel down in front of her, gently taking her little arms in my hands. "No one can ever replace your mommy. You will always have her memories."
"Then why are you coming out of Daddy's room? No one else does except Mommy."
Shit. I don't have enough caffeine in my system to handle this situation. Even with coffee, I'm not sure I'm prepared to be the level of grownup it takes to explain this to Olivia.
"I think this is a conversation we need to have with your father. But I want you to know I'm not trying to replace your mommy."
I can't tell if Olivia understands or if she’s merely placating me when she nods her head. I feel like it’s more the latter, even though I want it to be the first.
"No one can ever replace your mother."
I almost jump out of my skin at Ang's declaration to his daughter.
"Daddy." Olivia heads straight for her father, who picks her up and wraps her up in his arms.
I'm tempted to sneak out of the room and give the two of them time together, but Ang's stare keeps me frozen in place.
"Good morning, baby girl. You're up early." Ang runs his fingers through Olivia's hair as he talks to her.
"I was coming to see you for snuggles."
Ang looks up at me in understanding. "Ah, and you saw Gracie there with me?"
Olivia shakes her head no. "I saw her coming out of your room."
I am so grateful Ang takes charge. "Do you remember when Mommy and Daddy used to do things with you and Zoey?"
Olivia bobs her head up and down. "Yeah."
"Do you also remember how Mommy and Daddy would sometimes kiss and hold hands during those times as well?"
Again Olivia nods her head and answers. "Yeah."
"Okay, so it's kinda like that with Daddy and Gracie."
Tears prick my eyes. Ang isn't just talking about us being together at night while the kids are in bed, but he’s setting the tone for it happening while they’re awake as well. He's talking about us being a family, and damn if that doesn't make me tear up.
"Is Gracie going to have a baby, too?"
