‘Thank God, I got your number off the Snag List website. I’m desperate.’
‘Uh-huh.’ Lindy wasn’t sure she liked the sound of this opener.
‘I had no idea who to call,’ he said.
‘Are you positive it had to be me?’
He ignored this, breathlessly continuing, ‘You have to get over here. Tom and Eddie are wrecking the buzz.’
‘Where’s “here”? What do you mean wrecking the buzz?’
‘I’m down in Camp Happy and they are not fucking happy, man.’
On Fitzy’s side of the call, music blared and a wall of shouting seemed to be competing with his words.
‘What’s Camp Happy?’ Roe, Eileen and Ailbhe were all now watching her with interest.
She saw Roe mouth ‘Camp Happy?’ at Ailbhe, who shrugged, her eyes still damp but her curiosity piqued.
‘Camp Happy’s the alternate Monteray. You know, Lindy, the Marriage Pause place on the western side of the compound. A few of us have been down here for a couple of weeks, a break from the whole family grind. Just to get some … perspective.’
Lindy strained to make out what was being said on his end. It sounded like grinding machinery mixed with crying and punctuated by the odd high-pitched squeal of a pig.
‘Fitzy. What perspective? It sounds feral over there.’
‘All good clean fun.’ Fitzy was defensive. ‘Or it was until Tom showed up a couple of hours ago. He’s got some guy with him. They’re doing some screaming thing and it is freaking everyone out. Eddie Kelleher showed up yesterday saying he was too lonely in the gaff since Roe moved out. He’s been crying in his room. These guys are having real marital problems and, like I said, it’s killing our vibe. Can you come get them out of here? Please?’
‘No! They’re not my problem, Fitzy. I’m sorry they’re spoiling your free gaff with their feelings—’
‘Tom is not just having feelings, Lindy. It’s gone way beyond that. He’s been screaming for hours up on the top floor. It’s fuckin’ weird.’
‘Hate that for you, Fitzy,’ Lindy said bluntly and hung up. She turned back to the others. ‘OK. Update: Tom is over in the alternate Monteray at some debauched party, screaming. Fitzy says he’s been going for hours and there’s some guy coaching him.
‘Oh God.’ Ailbhe grimaced. ‘I know there’s no appropriate way to respond to … the … ugh … news earlier, butwhydoes he have to make everything so weird?’
‘We should go over there,’ Roe announced firmly.
‘Eddie’s there too, Roe,’ Lindy said.
‘Oh, fuck that then.’ Roe slumped back against the wall. ‘Look,’ she said evenly. ‘We’ll live here and they’ll live there just as nature intended.’
‘It’s a really good sign that Tom’s there,’ Eileen announced. ‘He left you at the airport. He could’ve gone anywhere in the world but he’s back here to be close to you, pet.’
Ailbhe looked like she wanted to believe this. ‘But Mam, we’re in his house with his maybe baby – he’s probably just trying to figure out how to get us out of here.’ She pulled out her phone to check it and sighed. ‘He hasn’t messaged. He obviously doesn’t want me going down there.’ She started scouting around the room until she found her black studded ankle boots. ‘I mean, he’d have come here if he wanted to talk.’ She pulled on the boots and then her green silk bomber.
‘Where are you going?’ Roe’s eyes narrowed.
‘I’m going down there.’ Ailbhe was nodding frantically. ‘I know it’s a bad idea but I can’t not, know what I mean?’
‘Oh. Right.’ Roe looked freaked.
‘You’re coming too.’
‘No.’ Roe shook her head.
‘Chop chop.’ Ailbhe tossed Roe’s trainers at her. ‘We have to talk to them. Come on, Lindy, we need numbers! Safety in numbers. And if it’s all going to shit, we need you to convince Eddie and Tom that you were the bad influence.’
Lindy grinned, leading them back through the hall. At the living-room door, she checked in on Max. ‘I’ll be back in an hour. Don’t forget to charge for your babysitting,’ she told him, and then they all marched out onto the deserted crescent. Mid-afternoon on a Thursday meant most people were working.
