‘Well, soz.’ Kate shrugged. ‘I just hailed it, so no idea what company to call. OMG, there’s Holistic Hazel, oh my god – she just glows. I really wanna get her for my ’gram.’ Kate scurried across to the bar in the corner and Ali watched her hang on the edge of the cluster of PRs and influencers around Hazel, trying to inch her way in.
Ali made her way to the table and glumly took her seat. Her cramps were relentless. The sharknado of periods seemed to be on the way. All she really wanted was to slip out and head home, but she couldn’t imagine wishing Liv a happy birthday empty-handed. At each beautiful place setting sat a small jewellery box. Ali cracked hers open. Oh, bingo. Inside was a delicate pendant in the shape of a horseshoe. It wasn’t very Liv but it would have to do. She’d snag some cake from the kitchen, maybe, and get home in time to make it up to her friend. It looked bad doing a swag ’n’ dash but Kate looked happier bet into these random influencers anyway, and after the day at Ailesend she just wanted to crash.
Kate wasn’t thrilled at Ali pulling her aside again to explain. ‘It’s just I have to be up early to see my dad tomorrow. We had a meeting with his care team and he’s really not doing great.’
‘But if you go, I have to go,’ Kate whined as they stood by the table; the others, Ali could see, were preparing to come over.
‘You really don’t.’ Ali scowled. She could at least feign concern about Miles. ‘Have dinner – it’s sit-down so you can talk to the people beside you. Or come with me, and we can hang out at mine. I’m just wrecked and I feel bad about Liv’s birthday.’
‘It’s cool,’ Kate muttered, suddenly absorbed in the table. She grabbed up two of the name cards and swapped them so that hers was now beside Holistic Hazel’s. ‘That’s perfect – I’m set now, byeee! Have fun with your dad tomorrow.’
And Liv thinks I’m bad, thought Ali, slipping away before she’d have to do any lengthy goodbyes.
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Li-iv! Happy birthday to you!’
Liv was slumped on the couch reading when Ali came in holding a plate of teacakes with a candle stuck in each. She’d lost the nerve to try and score free cake at the restaurant, plus she didn’t want to make it too obvious that she’d just come from an event.
‘Hey,’ Liv said dully. ‘Nice of you to show up.’
Ali handed her the jewellery box. ‘Happy Birthday, sorry I’m late, I was held up at Miles’s.’
‘Were you …?’ Liv said slowly, opening the lid. She seemed to be smiling as she drew the necklace out by its fine chain and Ali relaxed. She’d pulled it off. Though Liv’s smile was slowly turning into more of a sneer. ‘Held up with Miles, were you, Ali?’
Ali pushed her hair behind her ear and sat down in the armchair opposite. ‘Yeah …’
‘So weird, cos this is the same pendant that Kate was just touting on her Instagram. The gift from the Insta-dinner she’s been at all night.’
‘I can explain!’
‘I really don’t want to hear it, Ali. Every word out of you since that stupid fucking wild card whatever-the-fuck has been bullshit. And I’m so tired of it.’
Liv stood up and Ali couldn’t bring herself to meet her eyes. ‘Please, Liv—’
But she was gone, the necklace abandoned on the floor.
22
‘I just don’t know how to make him see that I didn’t do any of this on purpose.’ Shelly was trying to keep her voice level and non-confrontational. That’s what Plum, a veteran of couples therapy, had advised on the phone the night before.
‘Look, the shrinks all say they’re not taking sides but they are and, fact is, you want the therapist to be on your facking side, Shelly. So play the game. Don’t accuse Dan of anything. Every time you get the urge to blast him for whatever, don’t be all “you never give a shit about me” – the key to winning therapy is “I feel”. Put “I feel” in front of every damn thing you want to accuse him of. That way the therapist knows you’re not there to play the blame game but to heal,’ she’d finished triumphantly.
‘Right.’ Shelly had suppressed a smile. ‘And do you feel you’ve gotten much out of the therapy?’ To which Plum had only laughed throatily before hanging up because ‘the fit pool-cleaner boy’ had arrived.
Shelly had been meticulously implementing the ‘I feel’ trick, though it backfired when Dan responded to her last one with ‘Well, I feel that a lot of what you’re “feeling” is BS, Shelly. In fact, bullshit has become something of a speciality of yours.’
The therapy session had been Shelly’s idea. She wasn’t sure if it was simply that she couldn’t face the thought of being a pregnant single mother and the implication that potentially had for SHELLY the brand or if she really wanted Dan back. Maybe she wanted the old Dan back. But when she thought about the last few years of their marriage, it was she who had changed, not Dan, and perhaps that was the root of the problem.
‘Shelly doesn’t actually want to be with me,’ Dan explained to Dr Clarke in a matter-of-fact tone that didn’t quite disguise his anger. ‘She’s put that Instagram account before me – and, worse, before our daughter – every day for two years. And if we’re being honest, which I presume is the whole point of us even sitting here, I think this baby,’ he gestured at her stomach, which had begun in the last week to swell slightly, ‘is all for the ’gram.’
‘Dan … how could you say …?’
‘Oh, sorry, I forgot,’ he made a big exaggerated production out of his apologies, ‘I feel you deliberately got pregnant, knowing I didn’t want another baby. And d’you know why I feel this?’ God, thought Shelly, he’s really gotten on the ‘I feel’ train. ‘Because,’ Dan continued, ‘all you care about is your precious “content”. You should call her Content, in fact. Content Devine – it’s got a ring, I suppose.’ He sat back, his fists still clenched, though the rant had clearly taken something out of him and he looked exhausted.
‘Dan,’ Dr Clarke, an intimidating, together-looking woman of about forty leaned forward earnestly, ‘a lot of your language is quite oppositional and we need to remember that we’re here to resolve this conflict in order to move forward, not make accusations about the past. You feel sidelined by Shelly’s career and you feel a sense of betrayal around this baby’s conception, but contraception fails and I don’t believe it’s fair to say that Shelly would bring a child into the world to exploit for business.’
Shelly breathed deeply, relieved that Dr Clarke was clearly on her side. She’d chosen her because she felt she was young enough to respect a woman managing the daily juggle of motherhood and career. There was even a good chance that she followed Shelly, so it was important she didn’t see her lose it with Dan now. She realised that maintaining her immaculate front with the therapist was probably defeating the very purpose of the therapy, but she didn’t know how else to behave anymore.
‘You don’t know what Shelly is capable of when it comes to her business,’ Dan countered. ‘She’s a slave to that thing. She hired a man to pretend to be me at some event. Does that strike you as normal behaviour, Doctor?’
