I scowl. “Fuck you and your logic, I swear.”
“You’re meeting him before the presentation tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah.” We both knew we’d need to get ready in the morning at our respective apartments, so we always planned to meet outside the same banquet room where the grant award ceremony happened.
“Then meet him like normal, andgive him time. Get your head together. Lethimgethishead together. Graduation, this project, jobs, his family, the lawsuit,you. Any one of those things would be overwhelmingly stressful on its own, but all at once? No wonder he’s a mess. No wonderyou’rea mess. Sit your ass down andbreathe.”
“He doesn’t have to be stressed about me, though,” I counter. “And I want to help him with the rest. Neither of us has to be shouldering any of this alone.”
Orok’s smile is sweet. “I know. Make sure Thio knows that, then give him what he asked for.”
One last glare at my supposed best friend, and I type out a message with quaking hands. This kills me as much as everything else has today.
Okay. I’ll give you tonight. But we’re meeting tomorrow morning like we’d planned, and before we say a gods-damned word to each other, I’m going to kiss the fuck out of you.
I almost addI love you,but like hell will the first time I say that to him be via text.
Orok, deciding I’m not a flight risk anymore, sits back down and flicks on our TV to a pro rawball commentary show. I let it fade tobackground noise as I watch Thio’s text thread, willing three dots to appear, willinganythingto appear.
Nothing does. My message doesn’t even switch toRead.
Fine. He wants time? He gets exactly—I do some quick math—twenty-two hours and seventeen minutes.
After that, he’s mine, for the rest of our miserable lives, and he’s just going to have to deal with it.
Mr. Walsh—
On behalf of the Clawstar Foundation, I wanted to wish you good luck on your presentation today. The Mageus Research Grant is a very prestigious addition to your already impressive résumé.
We are all still tremendously excited to have you join our team,
Dr. Zishi Zuarashi
I read over the email from my future boss three times before I realize what’s missing.
Anxiety.
I’m not freaking out that I need to prove myself to her. I’m not going over all the ways I could fuck up the presentation and lose my job. Not a flicker of my emotions is spared for Clawstar, because as I stand in the hall outside the banquet room, dressed in my one nice suit like the last time I was here, I know I’ve got this. The presentation, our paper, all of it.
But Thio?
That’swhere my anxiety goes, rocketing right toward the knot in my chest that made my sleep erratic and my dreams muddled.
I don’t like not sleeping in the same bed as him. I don’t like not being near him, and maybe he was right, actually. About needing this time apart. It’s helped me crystallize that realization I had yesterday, helped it grow from an idea to a concrete belief.
I’m in love with Thio.
Orok nudges me with his shoulder, dressed in his own suit, a dark, smoky blue. “Put your phone away. He’ll be here.”
I comply, giving him my fourteenth exasperated glare of the day.
Orok grins at my annoyance. “He’ll be here. Hands.”
My fingers stretch automatically.
The presentation’s due to start in a few minutes. The banquet room has been set up with a stage at one end and rows of padded chairs lined in front of it, the hall and room already filling with people. Grant committee members, university board members, donors, professors, faculty. Even a few students, drawn by the topic of our research.
Arasne’s here with Myrdin. They’re inside, right in the front row, along with people who have to be Thio’s other relatives. Those who run DaylarTech or who knows what Tourael properties, all come to make sure the next cog in their Tourael machine does what they expect him to.
