Hope whispered through him. Even that hurt.
“It won’t be safe here anymore,” Ash added. “People will be angry about what’s happened tonight. They’ll come for Madoc’s family.”
“I need to get Elias out of jail.” Ilena’s voice went thin. “I can’t leave my other children.”
“Then I’ll stay.” Madoc would hold out a little longer. He would give them time to hide.
“No.” She smoothed a hand over his head. Over his cheek. Tearsstreamed out of the corners of her eyes. “Madoc, it’s time for you to go.”
He shook his head. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t think straight.
“Yes,” she said. “I’m going to take care of the family, and you’re going to take care of yourself, and we will meet again, I swear it on my life.”
“I can’t leave you here.” He forced himself off the wall to stand on his own, but his body was quaking. Knives sliced through every breath.
“You will,” she said firmly. “You’ll stay alive, whatever it takes. And when it’s safe, I will find you.”
He dipped his head against her bony shoulder, and she squeezed him tightly. But Ash and Tor were already dragging him away.
“Mother.” He struggled, but the shouts were growing nearer. He could feel fear prickling on the breeze. He could hear the chafe of metal from centurion armor somewhere in the distance.
“You’ve never called me that before,” Ilena said with a small, sad smile. She kissed his forehead. “You’re my son, and I love you. That’s what I meant to say before. I love you, Madoc. Now go.”
He blinked, and she was gone.
“Madoc.”
He startled at the sound of Ash’s voice. She’d come up beside him on the deck of the ship, but he hadn’t heard her approach. How that was possible he didn’t know. He could hear everything else with crystalline clarity—the wind filling the sails. Tor urging the captain to veer south to avoid Deiman fishing crews. The creak of every board and the slap of the waves against the siding.
It all pulled at him, demanding equal attention with the too-brightgleam of the moon and the rough, splintering wood of the ship’s siding beneath his hands. The only way he’d managed to stay conscious was by holding perfectly still. He could still feel the pulse of the gods’ energeia in his veins, the warring strength of his muscles with the mortal frailness of his bones. He couldn’t hold a single thought in his head.
Ilena.
Elias.
Anathrasa.
Petros and Geoxus and Ignitus.Dead.Dead because of him.
“Madoc.” Ash’s voice was softer now. He turned slightly toward her, finding she’d changed into a clean, white tunic and braided her long hair over one shoulder. Her mouth was a knot of worry, and the lines that creased her brow brought a jagged edge to his breath.
She had lost too much to be worried for him.
He set his gaze back to the black water. It stretched on and on, blending with the night sky in the distance.
“I can’t see Crixion anymore,” he said, voice cracking.
Her gaze stayed on him, warm, even without her igneia. “That doesn’t mean it isn’t there.” She placed two fingers on his temple, stilling the punch of his thoughts. “Or here.”
He tried to focus on home. On the good parts. On Ilena’s promise.
But he couldn’t hold on to them.
Her fingers drew away, and he tilted forward, wishing she was still touching him.
His shoulder twitched. Would this energeia ever subside? It had been hours since the ship had left the mainland, and still he felt like lightning encased in flesh. He had to get this under control so hecould go back for the Metaxas. Ilena was in more danger now than ever. Elias needed him. If anything happened to them, Danon and Ava would be alone.
For a brief, weak moment, he wished Anathrasa was here to teach him how to shut this down. But he didn’t know where she was, or if she had survived the riots that had taken the city as they’d run.
