Her wonder intensifies, but it’s more curious, less affronted. She glances back at the now-empty street below. On a long, slow exhale, she rubs the skin between her eyes.
“My brother uses his conduit to make it sunny on cloudy days,” she whispers.
I hold, letting her have the silence. She uses it to look at me, showing her true exhaustion in the way her shoulders dip forward.
“Which is . . . beautiful. I guess. But he also uses it to prevent any unwanted pregnancies in his brothels—unwanted by him, mind you, not necessarily unwanted by the slaves. He gets to pick and choose such things, and I used to think I’d kill for that kind of power. But . . . no.” She shrugs, brow pinched. “I wouldn’t change who I am. I’m trying so hard to clean up my brother’s magic that I wouldn’t want to be magic myself. Fighting fire with fire. Which, trust me, doesn’t work.”
Ceridwen blinks, breaking out of her admission with a swift lurch toward me. “And so help me, if any word of this gets to Simon—”
“No!” I cut in. “I won’t. I . . .”
She doesn’t want magic. Of course, she says that now, when she doesn’t think such a thing would even be possible. But I need to trust her. I need help in this.
But Noam’s fear plays in my head. If someone familiar with the Order of the Lustrate hears us mention its name, it won’t be difficult to piece together that we found the magic chasm. Not that I care about Noam’s reason for keeping it hidden—I have my own reasons to want the rest of the world to stay ignorant.
My goal is more aligned with Noam’s vision than Theron’s.
I’ve reached a whole new level of political revulsion.
“I’m searching for something,” I start. “Something that could prevent . . .”The end of the world.“. . . Cordell from growing powerful beyond control. I think it may be here, in Summer.”
“Summer has never had dealings with Cordell. Nothing of theirs would be here.”
“No, not something belonging to them—something they’re searching for too. It’s imperative that I find it first.”
The expression on Ceridwen’s face is pure bewilderment. Eyes narrow, lips parted.
I groan and tap my fist against my forehead, eyes closed. “I don’t even know what I’m searching for, honestly.”
A key? The Order itself? Anything, really, but I have no idea where to start.
“That’s the reason you came here?” Ceridwen guesses. “Not to ally with Summer.”
I peer up at her. “I can’t say the same of Cordell, but I’d rather stand naked in a sandstorm than ally with your brother.”
She laughs. “I’d help you if I could, Winter queen.” Her eyes shift to the puddles at our feet, but she stays quiet.
Yes, she’s definitely holding my use of magic as something to keep me in check should I betray her. Neither of us is comfortable with each other yet—but this conversation is a start.
I’ll take whatever I can get.
Garrigan brushes my elbow. “We should get inside, my queen.”
That pulls my attention to how empty the yard is. Garrigan reads my questioning look.
“Henn stayed at the palace in case you returned. Conall went to search the east yard.”
“You shouldn’t have split up—” I start, but the reprimand flops lifeless at my feet.I’mthe one who ran out on my own.
The look Garrigan gives me is cockeyed and exasperated.
“I know,” I sigh. I move to the edge of the roof and drop to the crate beside him. We ease to the dusty ground, and the muffled silence of the distant parties gives me enough of a break to relive the night in clarifying details.
I have no idea what effect my departure had on Simon. I could have been killed or worse if Ceridwen and Garrigan hadn’t found me. And when I panicked and lost control of my magic, I’m lucky I only made it snow. Buthowdid I do that? It’s impossible—or should be. Each Royal Conduit can only affect its respective kingdom.
I need answers desperately. I need to find the Order of the Lustrate.
The guilt in my gut feels all too similar to the guilt that overtook me when I led Angra’s men back to our camp in the Rania Plains. After Sir didn’t want to send me on that mission, after I assured him and everyone that I could do it,I failed anyway, and we had to abandon our home yet again.
