I square my shoulders, open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Yes, he does deserve it. But yelling at him won’t undo all the times I searched for him in meetings only to see him slouched in a corner, participating as much as would be expected from a newly titled lord of Winter, but not as much as would be expected from my friend. I don’t even think it would make me feel any better, because he’d end up just as beaten and forlorn as Theron.
Mather lifts a white eyebrow. “You don’t have to actually yell, if you don’t want to. Slightly elevated whispering would be fine.”
I sigh. “You’re not the one I should be yelling at.”
“Someone deserves it more than me?”
He’s trying for humor, but it tugs at my worries.
“How did you do this?” I whisper, my chapped lips cracking in the room’s frigidness.
Mather hardens. He doesn’t seem at all confused by what I asked. “I focused on my duty. I put Winter first, above everything.” The sudden heaviness in his eyes negates any advice he just gave. “But I think I messed up. Being king. I’d do it differently now if I could.”
“What? How?”
He shrugs, his words coming faster. “I wouldn’t focus on Winter as much. I’d let myself focus on . . . other things too. Winter isn’t everything.”
“Yes, it is,” I counter. “You were right to focus on your duty. That’s what I’m trying to do, but I feel like I’m barely holding everything together.”
“Did something happen?”
Mather’s expression is familiar—but it isn’t what I expect.
There’s no fear. No brokenness. Just strength.
I’ve been waiting for him to heal on his own. Hoping and needing andwantinghim to somehow resolve the issues of our lives so I could have my friend back.
Has he figured things out? Has he accepted our new lives?
Or is he just hiding his pain like everyone else?
“We found the magic chasm,” I tell him, easing each word out in a test of his strength. “And Noam is sendingus in search of a way to open it. We’re going to Summer, Yakim, and Ventralli, and I thought I’d—”
“What?”Mather gags. “You found it? When? Where?”
“The Tadil Mine. A few days ago.”
He pulls back, his eyes distant as he thinks. “Noam wasn’t in Winter when you found it.”
I shake my head.
“So why in the name of all that is cold did you tell him?”
“I didn’t want to tell him,” I snap. “Theron—”
Oh, no.
“No,” Mather wheezes. “Theron told Noam?”
I say nothing, and my silence confirms it. After a pause, Mather looks at me, and I ready for a rant. This will be the moment that tells me where we stand now—how he reacts to Theron.
But Mather just sighs. “That was wrong of him.”
My breath catches and my throat wells tight in the unexpected comfort he offers.
I cough, pulling out of the daze. “That’s not why I came down here, though. I need goods. Separate from the ones we’re to give Autumn and Cordell.”
He squints. “You want goods? Why?”
