“What?” I ask, laughing.
“Bad girl. Talking ‘bout the bad girl, yeah,” she sings the Donna Summer song from seventies into the phone.
“I am not a bad girl, take it back!”
“I will not take it back. Last night was awesome! I’ve never seen you cut loose like that. You were having so much fun! Did you spend the night with him? Was the sex good? What did he say this morning? Did you exchange numbers? Are you doing the LYFT of shame home right now? Are you going to see him again?” She rattles off questions.
“Um, let me see.” I tap my finger on my lips, pretending to think, even though she can’t see me. “Yes. Yes. Nothing. No. Yes. And I doubt it.”
“Nooo! Why?”
“Which of those responses are you asking why to?”
“Exchanging numbers. Seeing him again. Did you say anything to him?”
“No! I snuck out while he was in the shower.”
“Morgan!”
“Tess!”
“Come on. Really? This has got to be your first one-stand in—”
“Ever,” I interrupt.
“No,” she gasps.
“Yes,” I affirm, nodding.
She’s silent for a moment. “I guess you’re right. Well then, all the more reason why you should have embraced it. Jumped in the shower with him. Left your number in his wallet, a lipstick print on his boxers.”
“I don’t think so,” I say.
“Spoil sport. Fine, let’s get back to the sex then. You said it was good?”
“Better than,” I whisper into the phone. I catch the LYFT driver’s eye in the rear-view mirror and turn my head to the side, covering my mouth with my other hand. “Mind blowing.” I lower my voice, not wanting him to hear.
“What?”
“Mind blowing. Like what we see in movies,” I mumble.
“You guys watched a movie? Like porn?”
“No,” I sigh. “I said like what we see in movies.”
“Wow, like porn movies?”
“No, just normal movies. Or, I don’t know, maybe porn,” I giggle. This time when the driver looks back at me through the mirror, I meet his gaze and stare hard. Screw him for listening in. It’s my conversation, not his. And it’s private. Though, I probably shouldn’t be having it inhiscar then, but whatever.
“I knew the sex would be great. He was so good looking!” Tess enthuses.
“Is that all it takes?”
“Pretty much. The better looking they are, the more sex they’ve had. And the more sex they’ve had, the better they are at it.”
“What about that wholeaverage-guys-try-harder-in-bedtheory you had before?”
“Morgan, let’s face it, anytime you get the opportunity to sleep with a hot guy over an average guy, you need to take the hot one. You never know when you’ll get a chance again.”
