Every emotion hits me hard as I let his declaration sink in.
He doesn’t mean it, I tell myself.He can’t.
And yet, there’s no amusement in his eyes. No cockiness or stupid arrogance. Those things I paid attention to days ago when we first met are gone.
In their place is a quiet confidence and hope. The same kind of hope blooming within me.
The logical side of my brain is telling me to laugh. To shake off his question and push him from my mind for good. There’s nothing good coming from those kinds of words, nothing worth getting my heart broken over.
And yet, I don’t. I’m frozen in place, staring up at him with no way to respond.
That doesn’t seem to stop him, though. “At first, I was going to ask you for Iris. Plan a little thing at the ranch just for her. Nothing serious, just giving her what she wants.” His throat bobs as he swallows, but I can’t give his explanation much thought.It makes sense, but that doesn’t seem to be it. “Now, though, I mean it for real. I have no intention of leaving. You need to see that. Unless you really want me gone, but even then, I’ve been told I’m worse than a fly on a summer night. If you want someone who’s a good listener, then that isn’t me. I’ll stay by your side, no matter what.”
He lifts a hand to cup my cheek, hesitant and soft, but I don’t pull away. “I never gave much stock to love. I see everyone else doing it. Falling and crashing hard. I didn’t think it would be in my cards. I didn’t care…” Calder brushes his nose against mine, and I hold my breath. “I didn’t care until I met you.”
I shudder at the weight of his words. “You have known me three days,” I whisper. “I watched my grandfather do this. Fell for the first woman who showed him interest. And when he died, he left her almost everything. She never really cared about him.” I close my eyes again and imagine what he would tell me.
My grandfather used to be a man of logic and reason. He’d loved me so much I barely missed the love of my parents because he made up for it.
He would tell me to slam the breaks, throw the car in reverse, and back the fuck away. That this is too much, too soon. He’d tell me he doesn’t want to see me get my heart broken by a man I barely know, who knows literally nothing about me. There would be days of endless conversation about why what’s going on right now is a bad idea.
And yet, I can also imagine him telling me the opposite. Of giving me hope.
Hope that maybe Calder is telling me the truth.
Now that Grandpa is gone, I can almost hear him telling me to give love a chance. To try and be less independent. That it’s okay to rely on someone.
Calder hasn’t faulted me yet. He hasn’t given up.
“I can’t marry you,” I say, opening my eyes. Disappointment darkens his eye, softening his features. The hand cupping my cheek falls away.
“I understand,” he says, clearing his throat.
I grab his hand before he can pull away. “I don’t think you do,” I reply. “I can’t marry you.Yet.”
His eyes widen a fraction, brightening with surprise. “What do you mean?”
A lump forms in my throat, the pounding of my heart growing stronger. “I’ll give Iris that ceremony, because it seems like the one thing she wants. But between you and me, it’ll be a promise.”
Calder pulls me into his arms, holding me against his chest. “I’ll be the best future husband you’ve ever seen, trouble,” he murmurs, hands slipping into my hair. “You don’t have a thing to worry about.”
My heart does a flip when he pulls back enough for our eyes to meet. “I mean it, Calder,” I say, searching his face for any sign he isn’t as serious about this as I am. “I refuse to get my heart broken by some asshole cowboy, understood?”
His lips lift into that irritating, self-assured smirk. “There’ll be no heart breaking here,” he promises. “I’ll show you that I mean every word I’ve said. That I want a serious future with you, trouble. And I don’t plan on leaving you. Ever.”
Those words make my heart warm, filling with that unfamiliar sensation from this morning. A sensation I recognise now as love.
“This is a little bit crazy, though, isn’t it?” I ask, cocking my head.
Calder shrugs. “Maybe to anyone on the outside, but you’d be surprised with my family,” he admits, pressing me against the side of the truck once more. “We’re a group of lovers. Whenwe feel it, wemeanit. Doesn’t matter when or where. When we know, we know.”
“And when did you know?” I ask, leaving back. “Was it last night when you kissed me?”
He shakes his head, trapping me completely against the truck. “No, I think I had an inkling at lunch.”
I raise my brows, unable to hide my shock. “We barely spoke at lunch.”
“That night, I knew I would do anything for you,” he murmurs, leaning in. Our lips are a breath apart, the promise of a kiss hanging in the air. “That was the night I knew I would fight for you.”
