I nod as I turn down the hallway that leads to his office. I knock twice and immediately hear his deep voice call out.
I step into the room that was always off-limits to us as kids. He looks up,and the relief in his eyes radiates throughout the room. But I find no relief in his dark depths. Not when I see how much worse he looks since the last time I saw him. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and he already looks so much more fragile and frail.
I swallow hard against nausea and fight my urge to turn around and run. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I don’t want to feel the weight I’ve felt over Jewel. And I know this weight would be so much heavier.
“Maddox,” he exclaims as he stands from his massive chair that sits behind the ornate desk that my mom picked out for him years ago. He moves slowly with the help of a cane that makes my breathing stutter.
This is what it looks like when larger than life is nearing the end. The sight and the thoughtfill my heart with dread. My fists clench at my sides as I take in the man that once stood tall and proud, towering over everyone. I close my eyes with a deep but silent inhale of air as I try to keep the tears at bay.
“You’re a Masters. We cannot afford to show weakness.”
The words echo in my mind as I fight against the compulsion to curl into a ball and sob. I’m here to make amends, but how do you repair twenty-nine years of damage when you’re in a race against time?
“How are ya, Dad?”
“So much better now that you’re here.” He takes a seat in the chair next to the window and gestures for me to do the same. “Thank you for coming, Maddox. I wanted… Well, I wanted to call you again, but Callie and Sebastian said I needed to give you time.”
I lean forward, my elbows on my knees, and drop my head. “I need a lot more time than we have, Dad,” I tell him honestly.
He places a hand onmy back. The dam I’m fighting threatens to burst. I try to focus on my breathing, but goddammit, why?
“It’s okay, Maddox. I know I can’t possibly make up for all I’ve done. I placed unrealistic expectations on you. Tried to impose what I wanted for your future on you. When I got Bastian to help me buy your record label, it was never with the intention of controlling you.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. No matter the reason, you shouldn’t have done it. I don’t need saving, Dad.”
“Oh my boy, you needed saving long ago. I was just too blind to see and in too much denial.”
I narrow my eyes at him. I didn’t come for him to lay more guilty on me. To make me feel like an inadequate disappointment all over again. I can do enough of that without any extra help.
“Let me finish before you blow up,” he says, causing my jaw to clench. He better make it good and fast before I walk. “What Paul said the other day about your grandfather and Jewel. He was right. There were things—” he looks at his hands, taking a deep breath. “I always thought Jewel’s issues were the drugs. My father, on the other hand, we all thoughthewas eccentric. We knew he suffered from severe bouts of depression, but it wasn’t until we found his journals years later that we realizedsomething else was going onthere. I don’t know what it was, but it was something. But you, son, you were always so brilliant.”
“Sure, I was,” I taunt. “That’s why you were so surprised about the test results when I was a kid.”
“I wasn’t surprised. Not really. I just didn’t realize how brilliant you were until then. But you were always too smart. Too perceptive. Your mother treated you with kid gloves because she recognized something in you. Something that needed to be nurtured. While I… I thought for you to reach your full potential, I needed to make you strong. I wanted you to take over the company, not because you were the only one unless it went to Callie, but because I thought you were born for it.”
“I wasn’t born for anything, Dad. Only thing I’ve ever been good at is letting everyone down.”
“Dammit, Maddox.” He lowers his head in shame. When he looks up at me, my heart stops. My father who demanded that tears held no place in our lives, face was streaked as they cascaded down. “You never disappointed me. The moment Jewel brought you to me, I was in love. But every time I looked at you I felt so much pain, knowing one day you’d find out everything and hate me for it. Every time I saw you, I saw everything my sister was missing because she couldn’t put you first. But disappointed, son? I have never been more proud of anyone in my life.”
And the dam breaks. I can’t stop them. Everything I’ve wanted to hear for as long as I can remember from the only person I ever wanted to hear it from.
Hayes was right when he said life’s not fair. He may not have said it that way, but it’s what he meant. Because how damn fair is it that I finally feel love and acceptance from my dad, and he’s living on borrowed time.
With my face buried in my hands, I sob like a child. I’m angry with him, but more than anything, I’m more grief-stricken knowing that so much time has been wasted. Time we can never get back, and we will never be able to make up for it because fate is cruel and destiny is a joke.
I suppose Dad can’ttake it anymore because he stands, grabs me by the arms, and drags me into his arms, embracing me tightly for the first time since I was a teenager. “Keep fighting, Maddox,” he whispers in my ear. “I know you have demons, but I need you to keep fighting for me. I need you to win.”
Another sob escapes me because it’s a promise I can’t make.
I leave there wishing I could say I feel lighter, but I can’t. The weight on my shoulders feels infinitely heavier, and I know the worst is yet to come.
Quinn walks out of her room with Verity,looking dressed to kill. I’ve been waiting for her to get ready for over an hour. Bastian has tried to talk to me, but my mind has remained back with my dad. I can’t stop thinking about it. I just hope that I can focus on her tonightas I planned.
I also hope my plan doesn’t epically backfire.
“Ready?” I ask as I take her by the hand.
She gives me an excited nod, making me smile.
